Houston Texans Newswire: The Brave Squirrels of Clemson

Matt Sullivan

You know the offseason grind is in full force when a discussion of J.J. Watt's Nikes is more interesting than anything else. But that's the opinion of a guy who didn't get to go to #FPSF.

Houston Texans News

MegaWatt's Mega Hard To Get

So the J.J. Watt shoes sold out in two minutes on Saturday. Don't worry. If you have $209.95, you can just buy them now. Or, if you're smart, you'll wait until the next round Nike releases, which will be in either Battle Red or Steel Blue.

They have to be. Nike knows that not all of us are dads.

*****

Like A Tree Falling In The Woods

Did you know the Houston Astros have won five games in a row? Probably not, because you can't watch them on TV.

Somehow, they've won three of their last four series, and 10 of 17 since May 15. After taking the weekend series from the Los Angeles Angels, the Astros are now 6-3 against Brett Kollmann's favorite team.

This has to do with the Texans because Brett writes about the Texans. And because there is nothing happening with the Texans right now.

Sure, the Mothership has published a few standard post-draft-praise-fest pieces on Swag and Nuk in recent days, but that's really about it from the weekend. Pretty much everyone on the team seems to have been extremely focused on having a good time at Free Press Summer Fest instead of anything related to football.

Including the stewards of the Mothership.

*****

Around the NFL

Oh Yeah? At Least I Didn't Throw Up During The Super Bowl.

Donovan McNabb thinks that by speaking to reporters and filming commercials, Robert Griffin III is on the verge of creating a circus-like sideshow that will derail the Washington Redskins' season.

Is there anyone in the world that thinks we need more awareness of how Donovan McNabb feels? About anything at all?

If you're RGIII, and this gets brought up by a reporter, which it will, there is only one way to respond: "I'm not the one who got tired in the Super Bowl."

He should then take off his shirt and start doing sit ups in his driveway.

Terrell Owens Driveway Press Conference (via longwini81)

*****

This Would Hurt Very Much

When there are not one, but two attorneys alleging to have video evidence that proves Maurice Jones-Drew punched a man in the face over Memorial Day weekend, you pretty much have to assume that this is what happened.

Try to take a moment and envision what it would feel like to get punched in the face by a man with the stature of Maurice Jones-Drew.

Let us all give thanks for our health.

*****

Uncle Antonio

That's the nickname New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie answers to these days, now that he is all about saving money and driving a Prius. Cromartie estimates that he spent around $5 million during his first two seasons in the NFL. Nine cars, two houses, a lot of bling, and running the gravy train for all your people will do that to you.

And not to mention having ten kids with eight different women. Those things are really expensive. Which may explain the real reason Cromartie answers to "Uncle Antonio" these days: it allows him to avoid acknowledging that he is in fact father to all of them.

*****

DeSean Jackson Going Roc Nation Too?

Albert Breer reported Sunday that Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson had parted ways with longtime agent Drew Rosenhaus. The buzz is that Jackson is going to be the latest high profile athlete to link up with Jay-Z's new outfit, Roc Nation Sports.

I wonder what McNabb thinks about this.

*****

While We're All Still Here

This is pretty much how I feel about my weekend.

Please, say nothing in the comments section. We can't spoil it for anyone else. Just nod in agreement.

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