FanPost

Options for moving the Jags

One of the SBN blogs collects a series of options for how to move the Jags: Friday roundtable: Let's move the Jaguars!

Here is my favorite:

Matt Ufford

2014: The Jaguars are moved to London.

2015: The Browns are moved to Jacksonville as recompense, while Cleveland retains rights to the name "Browns," as if that's a name that some other franchise would want.

2016: The Jacksonville Pythons (né Browns) win the Super Bowl.

2017: Rather than start a new Browns franchise -- because, honestly, what's the point? -- the entire city of Cleveland is uprooted and moved to Duval County.

2018: The Jacksonville-Cleveland Pythons fall to last place in the division, and once again the tarp appears over the EverBank's upper deck.

2019: The Pythons are sold and moved to Los Angeles. To quell the uprising, the government paves over Jac-Cle -- known to locals as "Jackal" -- and turns the area into a massive interchange for Interstates 10 and 95. Residents are forced to walk to their new home of Oklahoma, warmed only by the Terrible Towels provided by the NFL. Many die of starvation, exposure, or Steelers fandom.

2020: The last Jackalites arrive in Oklahoma. The Thunder are promptly returned to Seattle as the SuperSonics.

2014-20: The London Jaguars -- pronounced "Jag-yoo-ers" by the locals -- finish 3-13 every year because their players are constantly too jet-lagged for peak athletic performance. "Holy shit, what a colossally bone-headed idea to move a team eight time zones east of the West Coast," says everyone.

2021: Dwindling oil reserves make intercontinental air travel prohibitively expensive, and concussion-related lawsuits threaten the NFL's prosperity, while fewer and fewer children play football due to the health risks. The owners lock out the players with exorbitant demands, essentially shuttering the league.

2022: Roger Goodell disbands the NFL. Later that year, he wins a seat in the U.S. Senate.

Runner-up:

PFT Commenter

[NOTE: All misspellings are in character. Or as PFTCommenter calls them, "realtalk speling" (sic). --ed]

Goodell may have stepped in it on this one folks, a great point was made (as usual) in the PFT Comment section yesterday: Actual PFT Commenter/League source "MichaelWrites" thinks "the biggest problem with getting free agents to join a London team is that a convicted felon can't get a visa to go over there" to say nothing of there current fanbase being able to attend Home games.

This is where Id normally chime in and tell you a team where your not allowed to have Mike Vick, Plax Burress, Tank Johnson, or Jeremy Stevens on the active roster would guarentee you of at Minimum 9 wins, but the Jags all ready have so many criminals on there current team it would be tough to field a team with Maurice "Bones" Jones Drews beating up every security guard at Buckingham palace. The only saving grace here folks is Justin Blackman would have no problem adjusting to driving on the Wrong side of the road at night.

The only way that this can work= if Goodell thinks BIG picture on this one. He needs to quietly schedule the Jags to play there first 2 seasons in England verse EPL soccer teams to artificially get there record up close to 500 and build a fan base,,by that time the Rams will have unintentionally moved there team one by one to Amsterdam and NFL Europe gets a freshstart.

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