Battle Red Onion

Battle Red Onion: Blaine Gabbert Committed To Local Asylum, J.J. Watt Blamed

39

J.J. Watt is a very good defensive end. How good? Very few ends are capable of sending opposing quarterbacks to mental institutions after they've faced them; which is unfortunately what happened to...

Battle Red Onion: Disgruntled Fans Arrested After Rioting On Kubiak's Lawn

63

Fans start rioting on Coach Gary Kubiak's front lawn after a decisive win against the Miami Dolphins. Battle Red Onion has the exclusive on this amazing and completely made up event.

Scenes From A Draft, Round II: A Battle Red Onion Special Presentation

54

Here's what will happen behind the scenes of the NFL draft. Some of it may be true, most of it is not. We leave it for you to figure out which is which. Enjoy!

Battle Red Onion: 2012 NFL Free Agency Roundup

50

Mario Williams signed with Buffalo, but now we really know why. Also did you hear that Peyton Manning signed with someone finally?

Battle Red Onion: Texans Fans, Bloggers, Plot Revenge Against Football Gods for Injuries

43

In this week's Battle Red Onion, the Texans local bloggers take their pitchforks and plan their revenge against the god of injuries. Vengeance will be ours!

Battle Red Onion: Texans Make Unconventional Hire to Fill Depleted Quarterback Corps

61

The Texans aren't known for making a splash in free agency. This year changed that with Johnathan Joseph and Danieal Manning. Now the Texans make another controversial signing to save their rapidly...

Battle Red Onion: Texans Bloggers Listed As Probable For Posting This Week

19

The Texans aren't the only ones contending with injuries. This week, even their bloggers are fighting the dreaded "injury bug."

Battle Red Onion: Texans Wide Receiver Haunted By Mysterious Specter

19

Ordinarily Reliant Stadium doesn't have much of a ghost infestation problem. But this week, phantoms abound at the ol' gridiron.

Battle Red Onion: NFL Suspends Officiating Crew for "Tripping On The Job"

16

In this week's Battle Red Onion, we learn about an insidious problem within the ranks of the league's officials. It also explains how Super Bowl XL was really won.

Battle Red Onion: Shaun Cody To Undergo Risky Surgery

66

Can you be an effective football player and lazy at the same time? Shaun Cody hopes surgery holds the key to this mystery!

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