Hair of the Dog: NFL Draft Edition

USA TODAY Sports

"Oh how I wish I knew what the BRB staff was saying during the draft." I know that's what you're thinking, so let me share that glorious dialog with you.

Day one of the draft is in the books and it seems fair to say that the masses strongly support the pick of the new Dre (in name only at this point).

Seeing as I'm not much of a draft research guy, I'm going to take this as a good sign (though in fairness, the fact that Tim loves the pick is a bit concerning).

It's interesting to see the polar extremes that we have regarding the draft, even within our own staff. I treat the draft kind of like I treated Christmas as a kid. I'm far more interested in playing with the toys than I am in writing my letter to Santa. Brett, on the other hand probably wrote Shakespeare to Santa Clause. Seriously, I struggle to believe that actual NFL scouts do as much research as he did. And they have more access!

For the record, I love Brett's research. Without it, I wouldn't even be able to spell NFL Draught. It's just not my bag.

The rest of the staff falls somewhere in between.

So with that said, let's take a look at what the staff had to say about day one with a good old fashioned Hair of the Dog.

MDC:

I just saw Andy Reid wearing a Hawaiian shirt. He looked like Oahu.

TDC:

Let the reading of names begin!

MDC:

On the screen: "[Chiefs] Have not won a playoff game since 1993.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!

TDC:

The Chiefs suck. No one wants to trade. Make the damn pick already. Stupid, crappy franchise is ruining the Draft.

MDC:

So, here's a proposal: the first pick should get one minute to make the pick. Because we shouldn't have to listen to Rich Eisen tell us for four minutes how no one is talking on the phone.

Vega:

Jaguars take Luke "the slack-jawed" Joekell

TDC:

32 minutes past 7 and we're 2 picks in. This blows. They ruined the Draft.

Brett:

This draft is already kittening bonkers and we're only 6 picks in.

UT:

That's the best part of the draft! That and the funny names.

TDC:

Doing this during prime time is such a bad move.

Brett, make them change this.

MDC:

How is this possibly better than Saturday at 11am CST?

Brett:

Mike Mayock is ridiculously smart. Also, 5 shots in and I feel nothing. My fatness is finally good for something.

Tim:

Have another dozen shots and then drunk dial Casserly.

mbw:

I understand that Milliner (however you spell it) is the best corner in the draft and you need to replace Revis. But why even trade Revis, the best CB in the league, just to take another one. Why not stay with Revis another year and see how the knee heals. If it does give him a 5 year deal, if not replace him next year.

TDC:

Revis keeps complaining about his contract and makes $16M next year. Millner makes $13 over the next 4. Cap-strapped Jets breathe a sigh of relief.

mbw:

I get that aspect, but you are still going the best CB in the league to someone who might be good for cheaper. I would still pick up 2 different positions if I'm the Jets.

UT:

As a UH alum, I'm happy for D.J. Hayden and confused that Houston had a player drafted in the first round. As an NFL fan all I can say is...zuh?

Vega:

And the DJ run has come to a sudden end

Tim:

Thank goodness we don't need a NT, what with Shariff Floyd sitting there and all.

mbw:

Him or Star would have been awesome to trade up for.

TDC:

I'm still locked in on Robert Woods.

#confident

Tim:

The Rams trading up for Austin was huge from a Hopkins-to-HOU perspective.

Still think he'll get taken before 27 though

Corzo:

Corzo's cameo appearance.

TDC:

Buffalo blows. They'll continue to blow. They're so dumb.

Tim:

Doug Marrone just got himself fired tonight.

UT:

I think I scared the waitstaff here when I burst out laughing when the Bills took Manuel

mbw:

Please lets hope they move up and take Floyd

TDC:

Heck no. If the Giants, of all teams, passed on Floyd then there's something wrong with him.

Tim:

I am stunned at how many WRs are still available.

Brett:

WOOOOOO 6th shot down. Glad I found this handle earlier today. I was abot to be stuck with just beer.

mbw:

Going Alaskan Amber for tonight.

Tim:

Alright, boys...PUT YOUR NAME ON IT ANEW: Who do the Texans take at 27?

Author's Note: I live on the east coast and has to be at work by 6am, so I was passed out by now, but I totally would have said Hopkins at this point.

MDC:

Sticking with my gut. Damontre Moore.

Brett:

Bron

TDC:

Robert Woods.

I'm not swaying.

mbw:

I am thinking Ogletree now.

UT:

The more I'm seeing of this board, the more I think it'll be Hopkins.

Then again, I'm on my third Cuba Libre so my judgment might be a bit clouded.

Tim:

If the Texans take Melenik Watson at 27, I'm snorting dog poop.

UT:

C'mon Hopkins, BIG BUCKS, BIG BUCKS, NO WHAMMY, NO WHAMMY, NO WHAMMY, STOP!!!

The Texans make their selection.

Brett:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIRD DOWN OFFENSE MIGHT ACTUALLY EXIST NOW!!!!!

TDC:

I AM SO DAMNED HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

Brett:

I don't even care that we didn't take Brown. Hopkins is pretty much the only guy that could make me okay with that. That's how much I love this.

Tim:

I am stoked the Texans didn't outthink themselves there. Fantastic pick.

UT:

/Drops pants, throws them across the room.

Love, love, love this pick...and that makes me nervous.

BFD:

I really wanted Jones with the number of WRs still on the board, but GB kittened us right up the kitten, yo. I'm fine with Hopkins, but I would've been elated with Jones and a different WR.

Rivers:

I wanted Patterson over Hopkins but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth.

So, there you have it.

If we've learned anything from this exercise, it's that Hair of the Dog is less exciting when there's no game going on and everybody loves the pick.

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