I'd really love the opportunity to gush over your Houston Texans in a PGB. Truly, I would. It's infinitely better than having to make chicken salad out of chicken fecal matter. The Texans, however, apparently do not see fit to give their fans something to cheer about. Instead, we're treated to another week of coach-speak about "going to work," "finding ways to be effective," "playing clean," and the like. At this point, that garbage is simply nauseating muzak in the proverbial Texan fan's elevator. We've heard it too many times for it to be anything but background noise.

Be honest with us, Smithiak. Your charges have won thirty percent (30%) of their games this season. That means they're actually running behind the franchise's abysmal lifetime winning pace. That's like losing a footrace to a blind man with no legs. Your team looks to be a virtual lock to go winless on the road. The offense is capable of putting together very solid efforts that will inevitably collapse when it matters most, primarily due to quarterbacks who have an innate ability to give the opposition the ball at the absolute worst possible time. Thanks to a breathtaking combination of mind-boggling coaching decisions and a secondary that should be accompanied by a Surgeon General's Warning, the defense is a complete and utter joke. If not for Super Mario and DeMeco, the Houston defense wouldn't be good enough to stop a Division III offense. Your best defensive back and team leader is coming off a horrific injury and, while gamely trying to shake the rust off, is still another offseason away from making a tangible difference in the weakest area of your team.

In short, this is a bad football team. We know it. You know it. Let's stop the charade.

That's not to say that all is lost; there's most assuredly a healthy amount of talent on this team in addition to Mario, DeMeco, and Dunta. Andre Johnson is the best wide receiver in football. Owen Daniels is one of the best tight ends in football. Kevin Walter is a fine WR2. Steve Slaton is the kind of explosive threat at RB this team has never had. Jacoby Jones is a weapon in the return game (though hanging onto the ball is still a concern). The offensive line shows flashes of dominance and has improved throughout the season. And Jebus help him, Matt Schaub could be the answer at QB if he (1) is able to stay on the field for more than three consecutive weeks at a time and (2) realizes that the terms of his contract do not require one to two turnovers per game. The cupboard is not bare. There's plenty of work to be done and plenty of talent to be upgraded, but there's enough here to form a foundation from which success can be built.

We know Rome wasn't built in a day, and you did inherit a 2-14 mess. We know that. Yet the same old platitudes do nothing for us. They're grating. They don't show anywhere near the frustration that we're feeling. The frustration you should be feeling. Shake things up, for crying out loud. You know who's not performing. If you don't, go ahead and search BRB, DGDB&D, Houston Diehards, Stephanie Stradley, and/or any other Texans message board or fan site for the following phrases:

"Anthony Weaver"
"Travis Johnson"
"Jacques Reeves"
"Petey Faggins"

You could add Morlon Greenwood to that list, but an injury has made him a non-issue for now. I'd love nothing more than to add any Houston safety to the list as well, but I think the Wilson-Ferguson tandem may be the best option in a bad lot right now.

Play Frank Okam. Play Antwaun Molden. Play Tim Bulman. Play Earl Cochran. Play Fred Bennett (who looked like arse yesterday, but remains a youngster with promise). Keep Xavier Adibi out there, even if Greenwood gets healthy. None of those guys may prove to be the answer at their respective positions. Maybe one of them will, though. Maybe two. Maybe all of them. Try 'em and see. You are a 3-7 football team. Find out which areas need to be targeted with the greatest intensity in the draft (and to a lesser extent, free agency). You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Do it.

Limited chestnuts from the latest loss to Peyton Manning & Co.:

1. See what happens when Steve Slaton gets the ball? As good as he was (and he was awesome), kudos to the OL for run-blocking at the highest level we've seen all year. They were dynamite.

2. Special props to Ahman Green. That second TD was due to a tremendous second effort. I fully expected him to tear an ACL celebrating.

3. If Duane Brown can't figure out how to stop speed rushers off the end, we are in deep trouble. Alex Gibbs, you're our only hope.

4. I get that the plan was to keep Peyton Manning off the field by running the ball. That's a good plan. But something's still wrong when Owen Daniels only has one catch and Andre Johnson only has five (5); I don't think the latter even got a pass thrown his way in the second or third quarters. You have to figure out a way to get the ball into the hands of your playmakers.

5. As echoed by Matt here, there wasn't a single Texans fan whose surname is not "Rosenfels" who did not call that game-ending interception well before it happened. I couldn't even muster any anger about it. Just bleak resignation. Crippler of my soul, thy name is Sage.

6. Super Mario didn't register a sack, but he was thisfreakingclose to sacking Peyton on at least a half-dozen plays that I saw. Yes, Peyton Manning is that good, though you have to give Richard Smith credit for totally disregarding a blatant mismatch.

7. It's 10:17 p.m., and Richard Smith is still gainfully employed as the defensive coordinator of your Houston Texans. What he did in a previous life to deserve this kind of invincibility, I'll never know.

8. The secondary still drains me of my will to live. Nothing new there.

9. What is new, however, is The X-Factor. I've made no bones about the man-crush I have on Adibi; I feel like a proud father right now. Or I would. If I had kids, and one of them was Xavier Adibi. I'm getting light-headed.

10. Another Texans loss, another case of questionable timeout management by the coaching staff. Really would've been nice to have one or two extra timeouts on that last drive, huh? Especially when one of them was burned due to having thirteen (13!) players on the field and therefore avoidable under every circumstance? Oh, Richard Smith...you are evil. What dark force injected you into this earthly plane?

11. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Steve Slaton; Defense--Xavier Adibi; Special Teams--Kris Brown.

Your Houston Texans travel to the Dawg Pound on Sunday. Yup, it's a road game. Yup, we're dead in the water.

Pain. That's what I'm predicting. Pain for those of us who simply can't quit the Texans and are going to tune in this afternoon. We're junkies. We know better, but we crave a fix that we know is going to leave us with our knees clenched to our chests, rocking back and forth, and mumbling that it's not fair that bad things happen to good people. Consider the above a "bonus prediction." Three (3) more things to look for:

1. A return to 100+ receiving yards from one Andre Johnson. He torched the Colts for 131 yards last time, and I believe he'll be good for 115 and a TD today.

2. Super Mario brings Peyton Manning down for his ninth sack of the season. Not bold enough for you? Fair enough...I'll raise my game accordingly and call the fourth sack of the year for Tim Bulman.

3. Of all the speed rushers he's encountered, Duane Brown has done the best job against Dwight Freeney. Freeney picked up a sack against D. Brown last time, but Brown did a pretty good job neutralizing Freeney in their initial meeting. Today, I fear that Freeney's going to be much more disruptive than he was back in October. Dwight Freeney picks up two (2) sacks, one of which will result in a fumble by Sage Rosenfels that will be returned for a TD by Gary Brackett. Again. At that moment of déjà vu, I will scream at the heavens and spontaneously combust.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: I said it here, so no surprise that I'm calling for the Colts to beat your Houston Texans today. I do think the offense will put some points on the board, and I think the defense will have moments of competence to break up the monotony of abomination. It won't be enough to make us forget that the Texans are incapable of winning on the road and/or sending me to bed tonight without a tear-soaked visage. Texans 21, Colts 31.

Tim Bulman and the Texans' defense played a great game.  He took some of his valuable time today to do an interview for Battle Red Blog.  We know it will get you fired up about the Texans.

See the full interview after the jump.

 

 

(Special thanks to texansbullpen.com for images)

 

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I'd be lying if I said that my extended absence was purely work related, but truth be told, higher headquarters inspections are a mother.  So again, I was Aiming High this past weekend and didn't watch the game until after the contest had long been decided.  Like last time, I did my best to avoid all contact with football until I got home and started chugging beers.  The only thing that clued me in to what happened was a text from a buddy of mine (Saints fan):  "Your team is kicking ass".  Imagine my excitement... 

There was a certain irony to the unfortunate events that took place on Sunday afternoon.  It's taken me several days to actually put into perspective what I saw.  In a sense, the game left me feeling Minnesota.

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A day later, I really don't feel any different than I did last night. I still maintain that Sage Rosenfels gave Indianapolis the game. I still maintain that the coaches and/or playcalling were not responsible for the loss, though I appreciate the solid back-and-forth that the two camps had going in the Comments to the previous post.

Regardless of how much affinity we have for the Texans, we will always remember yesterday for the last four (4) minutes in the fourth quarter. And that's a huge shame, because there were so many standout performances from other Texans. Although it's surely no consolation to Sage, I also think one Texan in particular should send Sage a cash basket in appreciation for keeping the suck spotlight off of him. Let's get to it:

1. The reason the Texans looked like a complete football team for the first time this season was due entirely to the appearance of an element that's been absent nearly the entire season. That magical component? A pass rush. Your Houston Texans, and specifically their front four, got consistent pressure on Peyton Manning and knocked him on his rear throughout the game. Super Mario notched two (2) sacks and was in Peyton's kitchen all afternoon, disrupting the flow of the Indy offense. We've come to expect that from Mario, so that's not a big surprise. But you know who did show up for the first time this season?

2. Amobi Okoye! He got more penetration than we've seen all season; he was getting to and knocking down Peyton consistently in the second half. Could yesterday have been Amobi's arrival as a force to be reckoned with, like Super Mario did against Kansas City last year?

3. Linebacking play was far better than it's been all season, too. While DeMeco is always going to be a stalwart, I was impressed with how well Zac Diles and (gasp!) Morlon Greenwood played. Greenwood in particular made some nice tackles at the line of scrimmage and slightly behind it.

4. That brings me to another crucial point: The tackling was infinitely better yesterday than it's been all season. The Texans wrapped up and generally didn't let the opposition squirm away, unlike their efforts the previous three (3) games.

5. Was it just me, or did anyone else think we got better safety play from the "reserves" than we have from Brown and Demps?

6. Fred Bennett had a couple of very nice plays, though I'm not sure that each one called for a celebration akin to having won the Super Bowl. Hopefully, like Amobi, this is the start of something big.

7. The worst player on the field whenever the Colts had the ball was easily Jacques Reeves. If not for Sage monopolizing the fanbase's scorn, Reeves' insistence on continuing to play CB as if he has no arms and wearing a neck brace would be the overriding negative of the game. He's simply awful, and he's clearly the weakest link in a weak secondary. It's only a slight exaggeration to say that I'd rather have Dunta Robinson hobbling around on crutches out there instead of Reeves at 100%.

8. In the rare event that Pepe Le Pew has any defenders, please do not point to the pass he "knocked away" in the end zone in the first half. Marvin Harrison had Reeves beat; Peyton simply underthrew that ball. Frenchy wouldn't have been able to lay a hand on it if he'd actually been in good position. That's not good corner play. But congratulations, Jacques Reeves. You've done the impossible. You've made me long for Petey Faggins to get more snaps. Do you know how dirty that makes me feel?

9. Seriously...I'd rather have Petey Faggins, who I thought was the worst DB in the league, get more playing time than a free agent acquisition inked to a multi-year deal mere months ago. Chew on that for a bit, and then try not to vomit.

10. The offensive line, both in run and pass blocking, was superb. Duane Brown in particular did an admirable job holding off Dwight Freeney. Freeney beat him a couple of times, but I thought the rookie acquitted himself in tremendous fashion. And did you see how Brown was sprinting after Gary Brackett after Sage's first fumble? Talk about heart.

11. The next decent snap Bryan Pittman makes will be the first I've seen in a month. How has he not been cut yet?

12. Steve Slaton continues to look like he was the steal of the draft. I honestly could not be any happier with him.

13. Was that Ahman Green I saw running hard between the tackles? And not pulling up lame? I must have been drunk.

14. 'Dre--Nine (9) catches for 131 yards and a TD. He's back.

15. Quick: Name five (5) current tight ends you'd rather have than Owen Daniels. Can you do it? Because I can't.

16. As a whole, the offense looked like a well-oiled machine. Well, at least until the unpleasantness at the end, that is.

17. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Andre Johnson; Defense--Mario Williams; Special Teams--Kris Brown (with a special nod to Kevin Bentley, whose special teams play is becoming a consistent rave every week).

18. I'll leave you with an observation from my buddy Jay. You remember Jay; he become a bit of a legend around these parts after his conduct in Nashville last year. When we met up after the game, Jay attempted to express his feelings on the loss. I can assure you I am only barely paraphrasing here when I report that he uttered the following line:

If today's game was a hurricane, I feel like my house got blown away. And then I was raped by looters.

Ahhhh, Texans fandom. Bring on the Dolphins, I guess.

Forgive me for what you're about to read; putting how I feel into words right now is a bit difficult. Perhaps more than ever, the stats don't tell the tale of this game. Your Houston Texans blew a seventeen (17!) point lead with slightly more than eight (8) minutes remaining today. Hell, if you want to get technical about it, the Colts remained down by 17 until Peyton Manning threw a TD pass with a little more than four (4) minutes left.

Growing up, playing sports, we're bombarded by the old adage--"Win as a team, lose as a team." In football, perhaps more than any other team game, it's damn near impossible for a single player to win or lose a game by himself. We occasionally have the kicker who splits the uprights to win a game, but football really is the epitome of a team sport. As a general rule, one otherworldly player doesn't equate to victory; if one guy was all it took, the Lions would have won multiple Super Bowls with Barry Sanders in the backfield. No, it takes a team to win. And 99% of the time, it takes a team to lose.

Not today.

The Texans lost this afternoon because of one player, and one player alone. After playing efficient, winning football for approximately fifty-six (56) minutes, Sage Rosenfels singlehandedly cost his team the win. No one else, and I mean NO ONE--no other player(s) and no coach(es)--lost this game. Sage lost it. By himself. In absolutely historical fashion. I'm sure he knows it, and we certainly know it.

The most painful part of it, I think, was that the three (3) turnovers he committed in record-breaking time were completely preventable and thus inexcusable. The first fumble does not happen if he slides instead of attempting to charge into three (3) much bigger defenders. The second fumble does not happen if he exhibits an ounce of pocket presence. The final, kick-to-the-nuts interception looked to have been thrown while his target (in this case, Andre Johnson) was on the ground. Three (3) plays. If any one of those plays doesn't go down like it did, the Texans win. It took three (3) separate, horrifying mistakes by Sage for the Colts to win.

I'm not taking anything away from the Colts; they revealed some serious character by battling until the end. Still...no sane observer can say that Sage didn't deliver that game on a silver platter to them. Indy was the beneficiary of one player's epic collapse. Good for them, and as usual, awful for the Texans and their fans.

I would hope this goes without saying, yet I'll say it anyway: Don't give me the "Well, Sage put us in position to win it; Schaub wouldn't have done that." That is complete and utter garbage. The Schaub ran the Houston offense as well as it could be run last week in Jacksonville. You're really telling me that Schaub wouldn't have completed slightly less than two-thirds of his passes for 246 yards and a TD today? Against THAT defense? Please. And for the critics who say that Schaub is fragile...in my estimation, that perceived fragility would have been a real bonus today, because there's no way Schaub would've been so freaking stupid as to try to take on three (3) defenders. He would've slid; the clock would've kept running; and the Texans would've won.

I hate to judge a player on one game, and I won't do it here. I will, however, say this: There is no QB controversy. And the next time any of us starts complaining about Schaub, remember today.

I'll be back with my thoughts on the rest of the players/game later tonight. The vein throbbing on my forehead is telling me it's time to drown this bubbling rage with more whiskey.

I'm beginning to feel a bit better about the Texans' chances on Sunday, notwithstanding the fact that the Colts aren't nearly as ravaged by injuries as I originally thought. The Houston offense looked great in Jacksonville, and the defense has played a solid half of football in each of the past two (2) games. The pessimist (realist?) in me says that the preceding statement means the defense has been pathetic for the equivalent of 50% of the past two (2) games (and about 80% of the game in Pittsburgh), yet I'm going to stay positive. With that newfound lease on life in mind, here are three (3) things that shall occur on Sunday in the home opener of your Houston Texans:

1. Matt Schaub's going to have another good game, and Andre Johnson is going to be a big part of that reality. I see 260 yards passing and 2 TDs for The Schaub, 102 yards and 1 TD of which are going to be courtesy of 'Dre.

2. Here's a bold one for you: The Colts will do a yeoman job keeping Super Mario in check. That superb effort, however, will be somewhat diminished by the fact that Earl Cochran is going to register a sack of Peyton Manning.

3. I'd love nothing more than to predict a great game by someone in the Houston secondary. I just can't. Peyton Manning is going to throw for 290 yards, and I'm going to curse the mothers of Jacques Reeves and Will Demps on at least one occasion each.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Fact is, if the Texans lose this game, it's going to be a loooooooong season in Space City. That also translates to a looooooong and depressing season here at BRB, and I'm going to fight that with every last ounce of my prognosticating skills. Call it Colts 27, Texans 30 via a winning FG by Kris Brown. Let us pray.

Paul Kuharsky of ESPN.com is reporting that QB Quinn Gray and  QB Jared Lorenzen have signed with the Indianapolis Colts.  This move was made to give the Colts more arms in training camp as Peyton Manning continues to recover from his career-threatening (sic) knee surgery.

No word on whether the Colts cafeteria will remain all you can eat.  In light of their two recent additions, something tells me that there may be a change in policy.

Egged on by Buck and Norm, I think it's high time I memorialize my idiocy anew. I'll take a shot at predicting the Opening Day roster in the next day or so. Now, however, here's my game-by-game look at how your Houston Texans will do in 2008. As always, this is guaranteed to be wholly inaccurate and embarrassing for the author:

1. @ Pittsburgh: I've been calling this one a win since the schedule came out, and I'm growing increasingly sure that it's a fairly ludicrous position to take. While I'm not nearly as bullish on this as I once was, I'm sticking to my guns. Texans win.

2. Baltimore: Home opener against a stout defense. I still, however, do not believe in their offense, though that opinion could change if a certain drama queen ends up in Maryland. Still, I'm calling another "W." 2-0.

3. @ Tennessee: Last year, I felt sure the Titans were headed for six (6) wins. They proved me wrong. This year, they will belatedly prove me right. I swear it. And the Texans shall take care of business on this fateful September afternoon in Nashville. 3-0. I'm getting dizzy.

4. @ Jacksonville: The Jags were underrated last year; this season, could they be overrated? Maybe, but they're going to end our dreams of 19-0 before October begins. Your Houston Texans shall be 3-1.

5. Indianapolis: Knee issue or no knee issue, he's still Peyton Manning. Crap. The hometown team drops to 3-2.

6. Miami: The Texans should win this game going away, but remember how the Fins almost stole one here in 2007? And this Miami team should be far better than last year's edition. Trap game? Methinks so. Your Texans are on a three-game skid and stand at 3-3.

7. Detroit: The losing streak ends, and the Texans get back above .500 in a game that makes everyone breathe a bit easier around Reliant Park.

8. BYE, and it couldn't come at a better time.

9. @ Minnesota: Unfortunately, the Vikes are coming off a bye this week as well. On the plus side, I figure there's a decent chance that Tarvaris Jackson has Minnesota fans wishing they'd offered a second-rounder for Sage and/or Adrian Peterson crumbling under the strain of forty (40) carries per game. Call me a putz, but I see a hard-fought win here. 5-3, baby.

10. Cincinnatti: Should be a win, right? I agree, but it's going to be closer than people think as Carson Palmer strafes the Houston secondary and Chad Johnson begins wondering aloud what Andre Johnson did to merit all the positive attention and love amongst his peers. Here's a hint, Chad--'Dre's not a narcissistic tumor. Look into it. Texans in a nail-biter to go six (6) up and three (3) down.

11. @ Indianapolis: I am going to start taking applications for membership in the Houston chapter of the Jim Sorgi Fan Club. Together, perhaps we can run Peyton Manning and his incessant winning habit out of the NFL. Texans fall to 6-4.

12. @ Cleveland: The Browns (and Derek Anderson) aren't sneaking up on anyone this year, but they've still got an awful lot of talent. Love to pick the Texans to win this one on the road, but I can't. 6-5.

13. Jacksonville: First MNF game in franchise history, and I think it's going to be a lot like the first Sunday Night game in franchise history. In a word: EPIC. Big-time win to up the record to 7-5, and the dream stays alive.

14. @ Green Bay: The Texans have no business winning this game. Short week, on the road, likely inclement weather...no way. I also think, however, that 'Sconsin is going to be the site of the most insufferable and season-affecting soap opera this side of a certain prima donna's reign of terror in Philly a few years back. Tough call, so I'll give the home team the benefit of the doubt and predict a Texans' loss. 7-6.

15. Tennessee: Ambush. Postseason hopes take a HUGE hit, if they don't evaporate completely. I curse Bud Adams, swear eternal hatred of every town that ends in "-ville," and pass out in a pool of my own sick.

16. @ Oakland: Unless JaMarcus Russell figures out a way to eat Super Mario, boa constrictor style, I like the Texans in this one. Houston's 8-7, and they're praying for meltdowns from a handful of AFC teams.

17. @ Chicago: This is going to be a tough year to be a Bears fan, I think. But at least they won't have to worry about playoff hopes being dashed in the final week of the season, unlike fans of a certain team that will be called "expansion" no more. A win to close the season for the good guys, and a 9-7 record. Playoff berth? Not this year, I'm afraid.

The news of the day for the AFC South, of course, is Peyton Manning's knee surgery.  I think this has deeper implications for the Texans than just another team's star player going down.  I think this could be a sign that the ceiling in the AFC south may finally be cracking. This regression to the mean wouldn't be nearly as interesting if it wasn't paired with another fact that that is just dawning on the rest of the NFL.  The Texans are on the rise.

The Titans are sill in disarray and winning against them is a 50/50 proposition.  The Jags' vaunted defense is starting to weaken.  The Stroud/Henderson tag team is no more, and the Jags are asking a lot of their young defensive ends.  Since the Texans always play the Jags hard, I'd put the odds at about 60/40 against us.

The Colts are still the team to beat, but they're looking more and more human.  Their biggest playmakers--Freeney, Harrison, Clark and now Manning--all have some wear and tear.  Manning is particularly interesting.  He's been the engine that makes the Colts go.  And he's got a nasty problem.  Knee problems are what did in Dominic Davis, Ahman Green (pending?) and Marvin Harrison. 

Peyton Manning's knee problem is a big issue for several reasons.  Even though Manning is a warrior on the field, he's going to be shielding his knee from contact.  This is going to make that ball come out a split second faster, which means more mistakes.  Manning's injury is on his plant foot.  Carson Palmer and Donovan McNabb both showed that it takes a little while to get used to stepping up in the pocket and leaving your plant foot exposed.  Lastly, Manning has shown in past games against the Chargers and the Steelers that he gets rattled when he gets hit repeatedly.

 

 

The Texans are fielding one of the youngest starting defenses in the NFL.  The offense has shown how explosive it can be in flashes last season.  The natural upswing the Texans are on as they continue to add talent could be augmented by a fracturing at the top.  In a division where one win means the difference between going home and the playoffs, today may have just been the day the Texans got that win.

(images via eorthopod.com and espn.com)