The sick feeling of getting pulverized will pass.  Until then, just 3 more things to think about from the game against the Steelers.

First, a story.  When I was 13, I played in one of those great Thanksgiving pick-up tackle football games you have with your friends.  One of the guys playing was a gigantic Samoan.  He played D-line at some college.  He got the ball on a kick off and came charging down the field.  He was running straight ahead and didn't make any attempt to avoid me.  I had the brilliant idea to go head up with him and stop him with pure tenacity.  We were going full tilt at each other and I made a flying leap to tackle him.  What happened next was such a gigantic departure from my expectations that the moment has forever been burned in my memory.  As we collided, I actually bounced off of him and was flung backwards several feet.

 

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With the onset of the 2008 football season, it's also time to resurrect your favorite in-season weekly feature. Enough with the preamble...here are three (3) things I guarantee will happen in Pittsburgh this weekend (Note: All guarantees are sure to be incorrect and are not guaranteed):

1. Matt Schaub throws for 270 yards and 2 TDs, though he'll also throw an interception. One of said TD passes will be to Andre Johnson, and we'll all remember what a ridiculously potent connection those two are.

2. Special teams will loom large, as Apostrophe Davis returns a kick for a TD. In related news, Jacoby Jones will make one play in the punt return game that makes me want to chug bleach, and we all begin wondering whether David Anderson should take over punt return duties.

3. Super Mario continues his tear through the NFL and sacks Roethlisberger. Lest you think I'm not being bold enough with these predictions, try this one on for size: Earl Cochran sacks Big Ben as well.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: When the schedule first came out, I called a win for the Texans. While I'm much more worried about the pass rush now than I was then, and remain just as worried about the secondary, it's the first game of a new season. If there was ever a time for unbridled optimism, this is it. Houston Texans 24, Pittsburgh Steelers 20. Drink that Kool-Aid!

As always, here are the final stats. While we still need to temper our reactions (deep breath...it's only preseason...it's only preseason...exhale), Saturday night's win at New Orleans left us with plenty to chew on. Let's get going:

1. Matt Schaub played QB about as well as it can possibly be played. Whereas his effort the week before featured one abominable throw, Saturday night's showing was epic from start to finish. We all know it, but it bears mentioning again: If he stays upright, he's going to be a top ten QB in the NFL this season.

2. I was a bit critical of Sage in the live game threads (here and here), and I'll admit the numbers don't back me up. But he made a throw or two that looked like Schaub's mistake last week, so the stats may not tell the whole story.

3. Another positive: Chris Brown carried the ball eight (8) times (for a paltry 19 yards) and seemingly managed to avoid breaking, tearing, rupturing, spraining, straining, and/or tweaking anything. Wonders never cease.

4. From what I've seen, I believe the coaching staff is giving Chris Taylor every opportunity to be RB2 in this offense. He's looked good at times and average to slightly below-average most of the time, however, so the jury's out on whether he will win the gig.

5. Steve Slaton looked markedly better in Week Two. I'm excited about the possibility of him stealing the starting job by Pittsburgh.

6. Kevin Walter is a damn fine WR, and I'm ashamed that I ever doubted him. Preseason or no preseason, 100 receiving yards in a half is elite work.

7. Considering the high regard I hold for K-Dub, it with the utmost respect I say this: David Anderson is a poor man's Kevin Walter. Dude is strong-arming his way into the WR rotation. Speaking of...

8. Jacoby Jones is strong-arming his way to irrelevance. If he doesn't get his act together, he's going to get into Texans games as much as I will this year.

9. The OL looked unbelievable in pass protection again, and I thought the run-blocking was better than the week before (though there's still plenty of room for improvement there).

10. Duane Brown continues to impress. I mean, REALLY impress. It's only preseason, but the guy looks like he knows what he's doing. Quick--name another Texans LT you could say that about week-to-week.

11. Morlon Greenwood looked bad...again.

12. He was by no means alone. I thought the defense as a whole looked mediocre at best and like a doormat at worst. ZERO pass rush. Decent job stopping the run. Horrendous job in pass coverage, though a couple of Brees' long completions honestly could not have been defended any better; Brees just made perfect throws. Speaking of...

13. Jacques Reeves looked like the Jacques Reeves Dallas fans were so happy to see depart more often than not. I had high hopes that Antwaun Molden would pick up the slack, but Molden looked like the rookie he is. He'll get better, I know. Reeves will get better, I pray.

14. Great safety play from Demps and Brown. They were good in run support last week, and I thought they improved in the passing game this week.

15. Overall, another game that meant nothing, though it was nice to see the Texans have to manage the game at the end to win. Most importantly, no season-ending injuries. We'll take it.

Next up: "America's Team" on Friday night. You know, if your "America" is Satan's playground.

First things first: Box score is here. Since we haven't made it to the regular season yet and most of the starters didn't play after the first quarter, this'll be a far more abbreviated PGB than the usual song and dance. Without further ado, here's what stood out to me as I watched Kris Brown prove once again why it's becoming increasingly permissible to spell "Chris" with a "K":

1. Based upon an admittedly small sample size from yesterday's contest, Super Mario is going to take it to another level this year. He's otherwordly.

2. The Schaub looked pretty sharp, with the exception of that lone red zone throw into triple coverage. I'm going to pretend that didn't happen, lest I have to double my lithium dose.

3. Sage Rosenfels was, in a word, brilliant. His TD pass to David Anderson and forty-one (41) yard completion to Jacoby Jones were things of beauty.

4. Speaking of...David Anderson is making this team as the fifth WR. And I'm ecstatic about it.

5. Speaking of...Jacoby Jones broke every damn rule in the return game playbook with his fumbled return, yet he had exactly one guy to beat when he coughed it up. Otherwise, he's going to the house and we're all raving about him being back.

6. Kevin Walter is going to be even better this year than he was last year. And that's saying something.

7. Regarding Apostrophe Davis, see the preceding point. I don't know that I'd trade Houston's receiving corps for any other team's in the NFL.

8. The running game did not look to be any better than it was last year, though Steve Slaton did show flashes of potential in his first few carries.

9. Ahman Green hurting himself on the first preseason play from scrimmage, without anyone touching him, would be funny if it wasn't so completely expected. Not that any of us was really counting on Green playing 16 games this year, but this is silly.

10. The OL looked very solid in pass protection.

11. And I'd be remiss if I didn't note that Duane Brown looked stupendous in his professional debut. Quick feet, good hands, no penalties...it's only preseason, but I really liked what I saw.

12. The defense did not look good at all. They were absolutely victimized in the flat and consistently looked slow to the sideline. Not good.

13. I love Morlon Greenwood. You love Morlon Greenwood. I did not love his play last night. He was either (1) out of position or (2) a step or two behind. Either one is bad.

14. But Zac Diles? Very solid effort in his starting debut.

15. The secondary was up and down. Fred Bennett got abused on some plays that he shouldn't have been if he's truly a No. 1 CB. Jacques Reeves still scares me. Jamar Fletcher was good more often than he was bad. Demps and Brown did an admirable job in run support, and didn't let anyone get behind them. And Nick Ferguson's INT caused me to jump out of my seat, spilling my lady friend's red wine all over her, me, and one of our neighbors. I felt really bad about staining an innocent spectator's khakis, but I had no such remorse for my date or myself. She shouldn't be drinking red wine at a football game, and I shouldn't be dating women who drink red wine at football games.

16. We've heard Kubes rave about Amobi Okoye taking that next step. Although he didn't play much, I saw enough to believe the hype. Well, and I want to believe it. So maybe I'm not the best impartial judge on the subject. But I believe.

17. Finally, and most importantly, keep a good thought for Louis Green, the Denver linebacker who was carted off the field on a stretcher. He's been discharged from the hospital, but that doesn't diminish the scary impact of the moment. Here's hoping he's healthy and back to making a living for his family as soon as possible.

So, BRB, what do you think? On to New Orleans!