For a team allegedly wracked by injuries, the Colts' list of wounded sure is short today. On the other hand, your Houston Texans' list is rather long. That does not fill me with confidence on this otherwise sunny day:

INDIANAPOLIS
D. Federekiel--out (bolshephobia)
R. Hall--out (cryptorchidism)
B. Sanders--out (bogyphobia)

HOUSTON
M. Bruener--out (hamstring)
C. Taylor--out (quadricep)
W. Demps--doubtful (hamstring)
X. Adibi--questionable (illness) Ed. Note: Really? Like a cold? Has X-Factor been healthy for six (6) consecutive minutes since he was drafted?
K. Bentley--questionable (ankle)
D. Ryans--probable (ankle)
B. Harrison--probable (shoulder)
E. Salaam--probable (knee)
E. Winston--probable (ankle)

It's the third game for your Houston Texans, so I figure the time is ripe for us to resurrect the ol' "Injury Report" schtick. You know the drill: The status and listing of each player is truthful, but I occasionally somehow misread the actual alleged injury. Yahtzee!

HOUSTON
M. Bruener--out (hamstring)
B. Harrison--out (shoulder)
A. Green--questionable (stiff breeze)
K. Walter--probable (toe)
F. Bennett--probable (shoulder)
Z. Diles--probable (shoulder)
E. Salaam--probable (knee)
E. Winston--probable (knee)
Tr. Johnson--probable (knee)
D. Robinson--probable (knee)

JACKSONVILLE
R. Nelson--out (vaginal prolapse)
B. Meester--out (phagophobia)
C. Naeole--out (Cauda Equina syndrome)
J. Durant--doubtful (Triskaidekaphobia)
M. Drew--probable (primordial dwarfism)
F. Taylor--probable (spasmodic torticollis)
T. McDaniel--probable (aulophobia)
T. Williams--probable (testicle cellulitis)
T. Williamson--probable (lactation mastitis)
J. Porter--probable (catagelophobia)