Have to admit, people...Monday Night games are rather fun. Not that I have anything more than a single game point of reference, but I had a heckuva time last night at Reliant. Tailgating was top-notch (many thanks to GlassJoe and the Bellville crew for their hospitality), and the atmosphere was as good as it's ever been at Reliant, which is to say that it was on par with last year's Thursday night game against Denver and/or the inaugural win over Dallas. I had a blast. And the football wasn't too shabby either.

Just when we think the season's become a foregone conclusion, your Houston Texans go on a two (2) game winning streak, complete with a road victory over a team that won ten (10) games in 2007 and a prime time win over a division rival that many pundits had tabbed as a Super Bowl contender in 2008. While it goes without saying that things haven't worked out for those two (2) teams as they had hoped this season, winning streaks in the NFL are a rarity and should be enjoyed accordingly.

That said, we should remain realistic. The Texans aren't going to the playoffs, which means they won't be winning the Super Bowl this year. In the final analysis, that's what matters. We should celebrate the positives along the way, and we should study why other facets aren't working. Lest there by any confusion, there are still several things that should continue to raise the collective eyebrow of the Battle Red community, even after a big-time win. Fortunately, that's what we have the PGB for. Away we go:

1. One guy that doesn't concern me in any way, shape, or form is this dude. Five (5) tackles, three (3) sacks, and a forced fumble. I'm beginning to think the Texans' lack of prime time games is chiefly due to a conspiracy by Goodell, the Free Masons, and Opus Dei centered around keeping Super Mario from breaking the single-season sack record. Gushing aside, we need to start a serious discussion about whether Mario Williams is the best DE in the league. If not him, then who? At minimum, if Super Mario isn't considered one of the best five (5) DEs in the league, I'd like to know who you'd rank higher.

2. You're not fooling me, Corpse Formerly Known As Anthony Weaver. Two (2) good games does not justify $6,206,720.00 this season.

3. Pedestrian stats aside, last night may have been as good as Amobi Okoye played all season. Not tenth-player-taken-overall-in-2007 good enough, but improvement nonetheless. I'm intrigued by Matt's suggestion of temporarily moving him to DE, though I'm considerably less bullish about Okoye's ability to stop the run at the edge.

4. Another week of Frank Okam not even suiting up. Yet Travis Johnson continues to start. What is it we're missing here? In related news, DelJuan Robinson's forced fumble makes him a more productive Texan than Travis Johnson has been or ever will be.

5. Don't look now, but DeMeco Ryans has returned to form. That's too bad for the teams left on the Texans' schedule.

6. Xavier Adibi continues to excite me. His speed and nose for the ball make him the perfect complement for DeMeco. I said it last week, and I'll say it again: The potential LB triumvirate of Diles, Ryans, and Adibi in 2009 should be a joy to watch.

7. Speaking of last week, I said this about Jacques Reeves:

8. The stats indicate that Jacques Reeves played very well yesterday. And yes, he actually did make a nice play (with his hands!) in knocking away what could have been a TD pass to Braylon Edwards. And yes, he did show some nice awareness picking off a deflected ball. And yes, he did force a fumble. If he can replicate that effort in every game for the rest of the season, I will consider backing off my assertion that he is one of the, if not the, worst CB(s) in the NFL. Not until then.

I stand by that, even in the face of recent praise of his play. His pick last night was a thing of beauty, though, and the best read I've seen him make all season.

8. I'm still amazed every time I see Dunta Robinson on the field. I'm even more amazed that he looks significantly better with each passing week.

9. Fred Bennett, however, does not look good. At all. At one point last night, he got completely turned around and managed to lose both his assignment and the ball at the sideline. What happened to him? Do opposing teams have enough tape on him now to exploit his tendencies?

10. I continue to be impressed with Nick Ferguson and Eugene Wilson, especially in run support. Both of them, especially Ferguson, sure can hit. Neither guy is a long-term solution at safety, but they've stepped in and shored up what was a complete disaster of a secondary.

11. I'm going to flesh this out in a separate post, but I'll tease it here: Should we be worried that the defense may be looking too good and thus enables Richard Smith to remain as DC in 2009?

12. Bryan Pittman is the Travis Johnson of the special teams unit. He underwhelms every week, yet manages to hold onto his job. Why? I can't imagine that finding a decent long snapper who hasn't (allegedly) run afoul of the league's substance abuse policy is that tough to do.

13. Three (3) punts by Matt Turk, all of them inside the twenty, and one of them was on the JAC 1. Nice work.

14. Kris Brown has been the most consistently excellent Texan throughout the franchise's history. Andre Johnson's been the best, but you can set your watch to Kris Brown. Which is why I do not understand Kubes' refusal to let Brown tee it up from 54 yards toward the end of the first quarter. It worked out, as Turk boxed 'em in at the JAC 1, but still...let Brown boot that and take the points.

15. That last point underscores a very distinct feeling I got from Kubes once your Houston Texans went up ten (10) points: That we were playing not to lose instead of playing to win. Steve Slaton rendered that feeling obsolete with his fourth quarter heroics, but the calls still struck me as too conservative.

16. That previous point begs the question as to why Kubes played it so close to the vest. The answer, I'd bet, is that he doesn't trust Sage Rosenfels. That's well and good; I can understand that. If Kubes really doesn't trust Sage, then why wasn't Matt Schaub starting?

17. The most unfortunate byproduct of Kubes/Shanahan not opening things up was that they implicitly reduced Andre Johnson's impact, which should have been much greater, especially when Rashean Mathis left the game. And that's not even playing up the fact that Owen Daniels and Kevin Walter were afterthoughts in the offensive scheme as well.

18. This is all palatable, of course, because of the singular brilliance of Steve Slaton. 182 total yards? Two (2) TDs? Are you kidding me? Now the rest of the country knows what we've known for months: Steve Slaton was the steal of the 2008 draft. If Smithiak brings in an effective short-yardage RB to shoulder some of the load next season, the running game will have been completely transformed in one year's time.

19. A big part of that transformation has been the development of the OL. They were brilliant again last night, opening up holes and not yielding a single sack. I don't know what Bob McNair is paying Alex Gibbs, but it's not enough.

20. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Steve Slaton; Defense--Mario Williams; Special Teams--Matt Turk.

21. One final point: Last night's open game threads (here and here) were the best we've ever had at BRB, both in terms of number of participants and quality of comments. Thanks to all of you; you make BRB what it is. Special thanks to HuskerDolphin and Mike Clark for being tremendously classy fans on a foreign site. Hope to see all of you back here.

Your Houston Texans have a short week before they travel to the Frozen Tundra to take on the Packers of Green Bay on Sunday. That's a tall order for any team, and it's an especially tall order for a young team that's trying to handle an unfamiliar bout with success. I don't love our chances, but we'll worry about that in another day or so. Until then, let's just savor the first Monday Night game, and the first Monday Night victory, in franchise history.

A win on the road. Whoda thunk it? The impotence of your Houston Texans on the road has been well chronicled, so no need to delve back into it in this space. It should be noted, however, that the Browns were beyond hospitable yesterday. It's a rarity for any team to turn the ball over five (5) times in a single game. It's even rarer for the Houston Texans to be on the receiving end of that kind of generosity. As is his custom, Sage Rosenfels did his best to swing the turnover margin back in favor of the opposition. Yet even Sage, in all of his nine-picks-in-five-games glory, couldn't overcome the hopelessness of Romeo Crennel's crew. Truly, yesterday was a battle of the titans, if the titans were the professional versions of the Washington and Washington State football teams.

Despite the complete lack of aesthetic value in the contest, there were several items of note to discuss. Without further ado:

1. The Texans' first offensive drive of the game was the sharpest they've looked all season. Fourteen (14) plays. Seventy-nine (79) yards. 8:11 off the clock. And capped off with a beautiful TD pass from Sage to Kevin Walter. Simply amazing. The only negative I found was that the drive's conclusion meant that Houston's defense would have to take the field.

2. For much of the first half, it looked like Kubes and Shanahan were content with implementing their patented 'Dre-As-Decoy strategy. Though I grow apoplectic when this plan is put into motion, I have to admit that Kevin Walter made it tolerable. The return to 'Dre, especially that twenty-two (22) yard catch he made on fourth down to set up Kris Brown's FG right before half, set me at ease (though I still wish Sage would look at 'Dre more in the red zone).

3. More Owen Daniels, please. The guy's a Pro Bowl TE. He should be targeted accordingly.

4. I was on record that Shaun Rogers would eat Chris Myers alive and boy, was I wrong. Myers, with help from Brisiel and/or Pitts, was tremendous. It was easily the best Myers has fared against a mammoth DT, and it's very encouraging.

5. For much of the game, the OL was opening up sizable holes for Slaton and Green. The progress of their run-blocking each week has been one of the few consistently awesome sights of the season.

6. If you're looking for a single stat from the offense that indicates why your Houston Texans won, look no further than the fact that they had the ball for 37:25.

7. Was it just me, or was anyone else disappointed that Kubes didn't order a shot or two at the end zone on that second possession of the game when the Texans had first and ten at the CLE 12? It reeked of settling for a FG and/or not trusting your QB. Certainly, the latter is totally understandable considering Sage's habit of making Christmas come early for opposing defenses. I'd still like to see a more aggressive mindset that early in the game. You're only up a TD; don't start playing not to lose before half, for crying out loud.

8. The stats indicate that Jacques Reeves played very well yesterday. And yes, he actually did make a nice play (with his hands!) in knocking away what could have been a TD pass to Braylon Edwards. And yes, he did show some nice awareness picking off a deflected ball. And yes, he did force a fumble. If he can replicate that effort in every game for the rest of the season, I will consider backing off my assertion that he is one of the, if not the, worst CB(s) in the NFL. Not until then.

9. On Braylon Edwards...wow. The crew over at Dawgs By Nature tried to prepare me for it, but I had to see it to believe it. I honestly cannot recall the last time I saw such a set of stone hands on a wide receiver. Edwards should have had at least ten (10) catches for 150 yards yesterday.

10. Excellent INT by Fred Bennett. Here's hoping it's the spark he needs to return to his 2007 form.

11. Anthony Weaver had an interception. Not saying that Brady Quinn should give up football or anything, but he'd be nuts not to question it.

12. I can say without any reservation that Anthony Weaver played the best game of his Texans career yesterday. That shouldn't make me sad, but it does.

13. Although Super Mario didn't pick up a sack against the Browns, he did do two (2) things I have never seen on a football field. First, he actually picked up Jamal Lewis and body slammed him. Second, he nearly sacked Derek Anderson over and/or through Joe Thomas. Seriously...after pushing his way into the pocket, Mario Williams almost got a sack with a stud LT in between him and the QB. Unreal.

14. You know who's going to start being labeled a bust pretty darn soon? Amobi Okoye. And unlike when we rushed to Super Mario's defense, there's not very much evidence available to defend against that assertion.

15. Something to look forward to in 2009? A starting LB corps of Xavier Adibi, DeMeco Ryans, and Zac Diles. That troika could be very, very nasty.

16. As Solis texted me during the game, we had an Antwaun Molden sighting! I don't recall much of what he did at CB, and that's probably a good thing; means he didn't get torched. He also was vital on special teams...

17. ....by recovering Jacoby Jones' fumble. I fear that we're never going to able to completely trust Jacoby with the ball.

18. Dunta Robinson started his first game in over a year yesterday, and the Houston Texans won on the road. His last start, you ask? Why, it also occurred the last time the Texans won on the road, more than a year ago! Coincidence? I think not.

19. It had to come to an end sometime, Kris Brown. Don't beat yourself up too much. But feel free to toss a haymaker or two Bryan Pittman's way. He's back to snapping like it's October 2007, albeit keeping things fresh by snapping low instead of high this time around.

20. There's nothing Richard Smith can do to save his job, right? Holding a team to six (6) points on the road is nowhere near enough, correct? Even if the defense pitches shutouts the rest of the season, Richard Smith has to be a goner, huh? I need reassurance.

21. A non-Texan related note: What was Romeo Crennel trying to accomplish by pulling Quinn in favor of Anderson? Is he begging to get canned? How can you do that to the young QB you just installed a week or two ago?

22. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Kevin Walter; Defense--Anthony Weaver (I'm as surprised as you are); Special Teams--Kris Brown.

No football this Sunday, baby, because MNF comes to Houston! I'm pretty sure watching two 4-7 "stalwarts" tangle with nearly nothing on the line was not exactly what ESPN had in mind when they selected this game. No matter. It's Monday Night Football, and I'm psyched. Bring on the Jags!

Better late than never, right? As Baltimore is fast ahead, let's put the latest road loss in the rearview mirror as quickly as possible...

1. The most maddening thing I think I've read all season, courtesy of Jacques "I Make Petey Faggins Look Good" Reeves:

"That’s what I want," Reeves said about quarterbacks trying to pick on him. "It gives me a chance to make plays, so I have no problem with it."

You have got to be kidding me. News flash, Pepe Le Pew: You're awful. Every Sunday, you make me want to go on a killing spree. You make Petey Faggins, widely considered to be the worst defensive back in all of football, look like Deion Sanders. I hate you, Frenchy. The reason teams throw at you is precisely because you do not make plays (Sunday's fluke pick-six aside). They're going to throw at you regardless, so the least you could do is not encourage them to do so. It's akin to dousing yourself in gasoline and then dancing around a campfire. I want to scream right now.

2. There are lots of reasons to think Richard Smith is an incompetent boob. The refusal to blitz. The insistence on playing defensive linemen who are nowhere near as productive as the younger guys below them on the depth chart. The inability to maximize the skills of his personnel. These are all good reasons. But in my opinion, there is no bigger reason to want Smith's head on a platter than his cornerback rotation. I'm willing to be lenient about his use of Dunta Robinson; Dunta's still rounding into shape after a horrific injury and is shaking the rust off (e.g., getting beat for a TD by Sidney Rice). No such benefit of the doubt, however, when it comes to Richard Smith's bizarre use of Fred Bennett and absolute refusal to incorporate Antwaun Molden into the rotation. Bennett was a revelation last year; now he can't even get consistent snaps in front of Jacques Reeves and/or Petey Faggins? I'll make this perfectly clear: I would rather see Fred Bennett wearing his helmet backwards and lined up across from Jerry Rice than be subjected to another second of Reeves or Faggins. Simply put, there's no way Bennett is worse than either of those guys. It's not possible. I have no idea if Molden is an answer at CB, but give me the potential that he is over the known quantity that is the poisonous non-coverage skills of the incumbents any day of the week and twice on Sundays. Again, I want to scream.

3. Hey, Dick Smith: Tim Bulman and Earl Cochran each notched a sack. In light of that success, as well as the fact that they've clearly outplayed the guys ahead of them all season, any chance Bulman and Cochran supplant Travis Johnson and The Corpse Formerly Known As Anthony Weaver as the starters? Or even take snaps away from them? Of course not.

6. I think DeMeco's ankle is really messed up. He's spoiled us since his rookie year, so it blows to have to see him look less than the stellar Pro Bowler we're used to.

7. The last memory I'll have of Zac Diles this season is him biting on that fake and allowing Visanthe Shiancoe to score the winning TD for the Vikings. I hate that.

8. If Owen Daniels isn't in Honolulu in February, there should be an investigation. 11 catches for 133 yards? Tight ends don't put up those kind of numbers.

9. The Vikes neutralized Andre Johnson as well as a team not named the Texans can do it. As opposed to years past, the nice thing is that the Texans have enough other weapons that the offense doesn't completely grind to a halt if 'Dre has a quieter game. The offense may not be as explosive without 'Dre hovering around 100 receiving yards, but guys like OD, K-Dub, and Steve Slaton still give the QB options. That's a treat.

10. Duane Brown and Ephraim Salaam should be ashamed of themselves. I know Jared Allen's a stud and all, but they were outclassed the entire game. As I noted here, one play of Salaam getting pancaked really sticks out in my mind. The fact that Brown has to face another 3-4 defense on Sunday (remember what James Harrison and Joey Porter did to ol' Duane) should have Sage increasing his life insurance policy.

11. Staying on Sage...that pick into double coverage (in the end zone, no less) that effectively ended the game was atrocious. Communication issues aside, there was no excuse for that throw. The worst part about it? Tell me you didn't see it coming. You're lying.

12. The Texans' defense is far too crappy for the offense to be able to turn the ball over at all, much less inside the red zone. It's a chronic problem that doesn't seem to get better at all, and I don't know why. Is it simply execution by the players? Is it coaching? What's the deal?

13. Matt Schaub shouldn't have been out there after he started limping, though I appreciate his toughness. His INT on the wounded duck to Vonta Leach looked to be the result of his inability to put his whole body into the throw. No player ever wants to come out, so that's on Kubes.

14. What's not on Kubes, however, is Schaub's fumbling. It's also a problem that's not going away.

15. Thought the interior of the Houston OL did a very admirable job against the one ton of push that is the Williams Wall. That was unexpected.

16. I'm tired and now much angrier than when I started writing this, so I'm wrapping this up. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Owen Daniels; Defense--Zac Diles; Special Teams--Kris Brown (by default).

Sunday brings the Ike'd out game against Baltimore, and your Houston Texans will be without their starting QB and leading tackler. The only way this could be any more ominous is if it was on the road.

Surely, I jest, right? Nope. Next up: Andre Johnson gets hit by a bus while picking up the morning paper in his driveway.

The only, and I mean ONLY, possible benefit to this development is that we should finally get to see what Xavier Adibi brings to the table. Yes, I'm grasping at straws here. We just lost our leading tackler to a season-ending injury sustained in a non-contact drill.

How is it that the Houston fan base has to constantly deal with these sort of calamities? Is Reliant Stadium built on an Indian burial ground? I'm starting to feel like a Cubs fan.

UPDATE: You might ask how one breaks one's leg in a non-contact drill. According to the official site, Diles broke his leg after he "kicked himself accidentally" while running at "half-speed." Are Diles' legs made of balsa wood or something? I do not know if a more improbable injury is even physically possible. "I'm a Texan," indeed.

Forgive my lack of verve this morning. I'm still trying to shake off last night's unpleasantness, right down to the fact that Michael Crabtree is a spitting image of Andre Johnson. I've decided that the only way to restore balance to my universe is for 'Dre to catch a game-winning TD today in Minnesota. Back on topic...here's this week's injury report. As you know, the players are accurate, though the ailments may not be.

HOUSTON
A. Davis--out (finger)
Z. Diles--questionable (hamstring)
A. Green--questionable, though he has 200,000 reasons to suit up today (thigh)
D. Barber--probable (hamstring)
K. Walter--probable (knee)

MINNESOTA
D. Herron--out (kolpophobia)
G. Mills--questionable (sphincter bleaching gone awry)
R. Edwards--probable (peladophobia)
S. Rice--probable (dry nipple)
M. Williams--probable (pupaphobia)

Because if they don't, it could be a long day for your Houston Texans in Minnesota on Sunday. The official site reports some jarring statistics:

Peterson ranks second in the NFL in rushing with 684 yards behind Washington's Clinton Portis with 944 yards. Peterson has five rushing touchdowns this season, which ranks ninth in the league. His career average of 96.4 rushing yards per game in 21 pro games ranks the highest in the NFL over the past two seasons.

Add in that the Texans are currently giving up an average of nearly 120 rushing yards per game (and thus ranked 21st in the league against the run), and the prospect of stopping Peterson becomes downright terrifying. Man, I could really use some inspiring quotes from the defense about how they're going to handle Peterson. What's that? The official site has some? Great!

"If anybody has a secret, please let me know," cornerback Jacques Reeves said. "I'm open for suggestions. We just have to get to the ball and gang tackle."

"After he gets past the front line, when he gets to the secondary, it's trouble,'' cornerback Demarcus Faggins said. "He's very hard to tackle in the open field. He's big and also if he gets a step on you he's gone. He can run you over. He can run past you.

Well, that didn't work. Actually, I think we can expand Petey's notion to, "If the ball gets past the front line, when it gets to the secondary, it's trouble." But I digress; let's keep it on Peterson. The other quotes in the article, from DeMeco, Diles, and The Corpse Formerly Known As Anthony Weaver, more or less agree with Reeves' take; namely, that it's folly to think that Peterson can be handled one-on-one. He'll require multiple Texans to keep him in check. That's fine and good, but it's still going to require good tackling, and that's something the Texans have struggled with at times this season.

Aside from the tackling concerns, I'm wondering how Richard Smith plans to attack the Vikings' offense. Convential wisdom would seem to suggest that you'd stick eight (8) in the box and make Gus Frerotte beat you. That's all well and good, but then you're leaving your secondary on an island, an act which I'd totally support if we could figure out a way to literally maroon Petey Faggins and Jacques Reeves on a remote archipelago. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't, right?

This strikes me as a game where you really, really need a defensive coordinator who can make adjustments on the fly, bringing pressure from different angles and moving players all over the place prior to the snap. Unfortunately, I don't have any confidence that Richard Smith is capable of doing that. Thus, I pose the question to you, BRB: How do you stop Adrian Peterson? Because I don't think your Houston Texans can.

Well, that sure was nice. I honestly cannot recall a more complete performance from your Houston Texans. Ever. Yes, there have been nice wins (though they've definitely been far fewer in number than we would've liked). But can you recall a win that featured the Texans looking like world beaters in every phase of the game? I can't.

Does that mean your Houston Texans have turned some sort of corner? I don't know. Fact is, they won three (3) out of four (4) games at home. Of those four (4) games, on paper, there's little doubt they should've won two (2) of them, as they were against opponents that have yet to win a game this season and are struggling mightily. The win over Miami was a hard-fought victory over a scrappy team that should push for a winning record, so you'd have to consider that the team's signature win thus far.

Now we're going to see what the Texans are made of the next two (2) weeks, first at Minnesota and then with the rescheduled home game versus Baltimore on 11/09/08. Win both of those, and things get reeeeeeeeeeeal interesting. Salvage a split, and the Texans are a dangerous team that probably needs a bit of help to play meaningful games in December. Lose both, and the last three (3) weeks look more like a mirage than a breakthrough. Truth be told, all of this is probably moot if the team doesn't mix in a couple of divisional wins as well.

I'm putting the cart before The Schaub, so let's turn our attention back to the here and now. Thoughts on the win over the Bengals:

1. Matt Schaub has thrown nine (9) incompletions the last two (2) weeks, along with five (5) TD passes and zero (0) interceptions. That does not suck.

2. I hope scientists discover a way to clone Andre Johnson, and that the Texans retain the draft rights to the 'Dre clones.

3. Not a bad showing against his old team for K-Dub, huh? Query: Name another player who has made the kind of quantum jump in value and/or importance to his new team that Kevin Walter has made since his days in Cincinnati ended.

4. Maybe it's the Rudy in me, but I have a fever. And the only cure for it is more David Anderson.

5. Owen Daniels was quiet yesterday. Bet you he's much louder in Minneapolis.

Continue reading this post »

Final numbers from the victory over Detroit are here. I suppose I'd have to say that Sunday's win was better than the previous week's win, primarily because the offense looked simply unstoppable for a half against the Lions, while it was much more inconsistent throughout (cough...Schaub...cough) versus Miami. So that's a positive, I guess. On Sunday, after doing a reasonable impersonation of a pro-caliber defense in the first half (albeit one that had the fortune to face an offense led by Dan Orlovsky), Richard Smith's gang (especially the secondary) reverted to its typically awful ways in Half Two. What I want to know is this: When are we going to see a complete, thorough effort from your Houston Texans? Is it too much to ask? Is the defense even capable of providing that kind of performance? Why do I feel like these are rhetorical questions?

Lest I sound like I'm complaining too much, let me make clear that I'm ecstatic about a second win. Winning streaks for our beloved franchise are about as rare as quiet nights at home are for Pacman. I'm not turning my nose up at winning two in a row. The fact remains, however, that you're not going to beat many teams playing like the Texans did in the second half last Sunday. Good teams can afford the occasional lapse like that; struggling teams looking to put something together cannot. To the specifics:

1. I'm starting with the OL this week, and with good reason. Every week, I see the run-blocking improve. At this rate, the Texans are going to have a, dare I say, dominant running game by season's end. The pass-blocking was overwhelmingly good as well; the three (3) sacks surrendered looked to be more of the coverage variety than the smoked-off-the-snap vintage.

2. A bit confused as to the new Duane Brown-Ephraim Salaam rotation. It would have made a lot more sense at the beginning of the season. Now, it strikes me as odd, though there's no doubt that D. Brown has had trouble staying in front of the quicker DEs he's faced so far.

3. Tremendous bounceback game for The Schaub, one red zone fumble before the half aside (which proved to be costly from a momentum standpoint, as the offense stalled for much of the second half and generally looked a bit out of sync). Completing twenty-six (26) out of thirty-one (31) passes isn't something you see every day. Unless you're watching the Horns, of course. Again, I temper my enthusiasm with the caveat that it came at the expense of the Lions, but perhaps The Schaub Train is picking up steam after his dramatic game-winning scamper against the Fins?

4. Andre Johnson could catch the speed of light if he wanted to do so.

5. Owen Daniels finally got off the TD schneid in a big way. He's been so consistently good that I think I'm in danger of taking his excellence for granted.

6. In the Comments below, take a shot at listing all the current RB 1-2 punches in the NFL that you believe are better than Slaton-Green. Not better single RBs, mind you, but better RB tandems. I think you'll be amazed at how short the list is.

7. One more word on Slaton...he's already the second-best running back the franchise has ever had, and he's only six (6) games into his career. That's really exciting and terribly depressing at the same time.

8. If you weren't lucky enough to be at Sunday's game, check out this video someone taped of the defensive starter introductions. If you're pressed for time, fast forward to about 2:15 and watch Dunta's entrance; the team wisely introduced him even though he wasn't starting. I'm not ashamed to say I got a little choked up when I saw him jumping around after emerging from the tunnel. I don't know that we'll ever see anyone so happy to get back to work as Dunta was last Sunday.

9. Speaking of Dunta, he was most assuredly rusty; Mike Furrey had him beat far more often than not. It'll come, though. And it can't come soon enough, because...

10. Petey Faggins remembered he was Petey Faggins and played accordingly. The only, and I mean the ONLY, explanation for why Richard Smith would allow Petey to even get within five (5) yards of Calvin Johnson by himself is a botched lobotomy. It explains everything, really. Our defensive coordinator has been lobotomized and is scheming to reflect that. How else do you explan that Smith finally saw fit to call a couple of blitzes? You know he didn't do that willingly. The icepick did it. The icepick giveth (blitzing), and the icepick taketh away (assigning Petey Faggins to single-handedly hold C. Johnson).

11. Congratulations, Jacques Reeves. You were far from good, but your inadequacy was upstaged by Petey. Clever trick.

12. Will Demps looked really good in run support, though the concerns about the safety play in pass coverage remain.

13. The linebacking play, and specifically that of Zac Diles, seems to be improving each week. Shockingly, it really helps the pass rush when the linebackers are occasionally turned loose to pursue the QB, as evidenced by Diles' sack. Novel idea, I know, and I'm not even lobotomized.

14. Aside from a single long jaunt by Kevin Smith, the front seven did a fine job against the run.

15. Super Mario was held in check rather well by the DET OL; kudos to them. Unfortunately for the Lions, they forgot about BRB favorite Tim Bulman.

16. Speaking of Bulman, note that he notched his first sack mere days after granting us an interview. Coincidence? I think not. Amobi, you know where to find us.

17. Exactly what sort of compromising pictures does Anthony Weaver have that merit him getting snaps, much less starting? What else do Bulman and/or Earl Cochran have to do?

18. Kris Brown has not missed a field goal in nearly ten (10) months.

19. Matt Turk was as responsible for the Texans holding on to win as any single player, with assists by Apostrophe Davis and Antwaun Molden. Three (3) punts downed inside the five yard line? Are you kidding me?

20. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Owen Daniels; Defense--Zac Diles; Special Teams--Matt Turk.

One winless team in the rearview mirror, and another one dead ahead. Don't get complacent, though...Cincinnati has some weapons in the passing game, and they're completely capable of exploiting the horrendous secondary we know and hate begrudgingly tolerate. It won't be easy.

This post-game recap comes with a huge disclaimer:  I didn't get to see the first twenty-five minutes of the game or the first three Texans scores.   I assumed that I would be watching the Texans in the comfort of my own living room, while a pan of chicken wings fried outside.  I had a fridge full of beer and a 5 lb bag of chicken wings - it was going to be beautiful - until the assholes who run the local networks screwed me out of my game.

Anyway, I hit my local watering hole only to find that it was CLOSED.  WTF?!  Then I head over to the bar that's three doors down and the idiot bartender couldn't figure out how to work the remote. I'm serious. The fucking idiot is standing there with five remotes in his hand and he can't figure out how to get the Texans game on the screen.  I figured screw it - I'll drive the 20 minutes to Champps, where I knew for sure they would have the game. 

Oh, and if being a Texans fan living in San Antonio didn't suck enough, local AM radio stopped carrying Texans games this season.  Not to harp on the whole "San Antonio hates the Texans" thing, but how is it that SA has two dedicated sports talk radio stations, plus have a news talk station that also broadcasts games, but I can't get one of them to beam me in some Texans football? Es una disgracia.

So anyway, I walk into Champps just as Hanson is booting his first 54 yarder (21-3).   I make a beeline to the back and find some other dude who was also scrambling to find a place with the game.  Mix in my buddy who showed up at halftime, and the afternoon went from being utterly craptastic to pretty kickass. 

With all that being said, here is that disclaimer:  After an hour of sheer frustration, I drank and I drank and I drank as I watched the game and since I don't have the luxury of DVR to help me out with this, I'm left to my foggy memory to recap what I saw.

 

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I'd be lying if I said that my extended absence was purely work related, but truth be told, higher headquarters inspections are a mother.  So again, I was Aiming High this past weekend and didn't watch the game until after the contest had long been decided.  Like last time, I did my best to avoid all contact with football until I got home and started chugging beers.  The only thing that clued me in to what happened was a text from a buddy of mine (Saints fan):  "Your team is kicking ass".  Imagine my excitement... 

There was a certain irony to the unfortunate events that took place on Sunday afternoon.  It's taken me several days to actually put into perspective what I saw.  In a sense, the game left me feeling Minnesota.

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