Pardon the blatant abuse of Bon Jovi in the title to this post, if you will. As I was debating how to recap yesterday's game, I was struck by the duality of your Houston Texans after their loss to the Jaguars of Jacksonville. On one hand, the passing game looked terrific. On the other hand, the running game continued to look like it has since the franchise's inception. Which is to say, inconsistent at best, and nonexistent at worst. Still, that middling effort was far better than what we saw out of the defense, particularly in the second half. And no matter what kind of spin we try to put on it, the fact remains that your Houston Texans have lost three (3) in a row, two (2) of which were within the division. Dress it up all you want, but that burns.

The breaking dawn on the horizon, of course, is that the good guys don't have to leave their new open-air stadium for the next month. And while I'd certainly rather be catching the Colts with a semblance of momentum and/or not coming off their bye week, they haven't looked like the Colts we've grown accustomed to crushing our collective will to live playing, and they've got some real injury issues of their own. After Indy, the Texans host Miami, Detroit, and Cincinnati. While it's admittedly unreasonable to think the hometown team is going to rattle off four (4) wins in a row, it's not entirely insane to hope that they take three (3) of the next four.

So how does this tie in to yesterday afternoon's loss? Before yesterday, the Texans had not given us a reason to think they were capable of winning three (3) games all season, much less three of their next four. Now? We can at least hope. As I've realized that being a Texans fan is the sporting equivalent of being Andy Dufresne, all I can say is that hope is a good thing, and no good thing ever dies. Unless your secondary murders it. Segue, baby!

1. I really have nothing good to say about any of the Houston defensive backs. They can't tackle, and they can't cover. I'm no expert, but I think the chronic failure to do both of those things bodes very poorly for them (and by extension, us) for the rest of the season.

2. Staying on the secondary, C.C. Brown broke his arm and is out for the season. Normally, it'd be a huge blow to lose your starting strong safety. And hell, maybe it will be in C.C.'s case. But I believe there's an excellent chance that whoever takes over the starting gig (Dominique Barber? Nick Ferguson?) cannot be any worse. So we've got that going for us, which is nice.

3. Jacques Reeves can stay stride for stride with any WR in the league. Unfortunately for us, playing CB requires the occasional movement of one's arms and/or turning of one's head. Both of those qualities seem to be beyond Pepe Le Pew's skill set.

4. Fred Bennett just makes me sad. Remember how good he was last year?

5. DeMeco made some unreal plays yesterday, but he also missed what might have been the biggest tackle of his professional career in overtime (ended up setting up the winning FG for Scobee). Scobee would've probably hit anything closer than 55 yards out, so in the final analysis, it's not like it was catastrophic, but still...I expect more from the leader of the defense.

6. When did Quincy Monk steal Morlon Greenwood's identity and roster spot?

7. The pass rush is still mostly a figment of my imagination, but the Texans did put David Garrard on his back quite a few times, albeit not for sacks. Super Mario might as well have had a saddle on his back throughout most of the game, yet he still managed to be disruptive. I also really liked what I saw from Earl Cochran; he was about 758 times more active than Anthony Weaver's corpse usually is.

8. At DT, Amobi Okoye continues to be a complete non-factor. What the hell's the deal? Is he too small/light to penetrate and/or tie up blockers? Does he need a planetoid like Frank Okam playing next to him to allow him to contribute? Whatever the hold-up is, Richard Smith had better figure out how to take advantage of Okoye's talent. I hesitate to put too much of Okoye's struggles on Okoye himself, purely because I remember how effective he looked early in his rookie season. Plus, the thought of the Texans whiffing on two (2) first-round defensive tackles in a three (3) year period makes me want to jam a pair of scissors in my eye.

9. Travis Johnson was healthy enough to play, yet he didn't get the start. Jeff Zgonina ain't Warren Sapp, but at least he's not a headcase liable to pick up a personal foul or two, all the while running his mouth at a rate approximately 235 times faster than he moves in the trenches.

10. In the time it's taken you to read this far, David Garrard could have completed fifteen (15) consecutive slants without Richard Smith making a single adjustment. On a related note, perhaps our venerable defensive coordinator has used the thirty (30) hours since the game ended to figure out that maybe, just maybe, it might be a good idea to spy David Garrard instead of letting him singlehandedly scramble down the middle of the field what seemed like eight (8) straight times.

11. Kris Brown continues to be the most consistent player on the entire roster.

12. What does it say about Jacoby Jones that I would have rather had him not touch the ball, allowing it to be downed at the one-yard line, instead of picking it up and trying to return it? I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown every time he fields a punt and/or catches a pass.

13. Final word on special teams: I'm no professional football player or coach, but I believe a timeout might be warranted when you notice Jacksonville's "punt team" does not actually feature anyone lining up to punt the ball. And as bad as that was, the abhorrent tackling featured after the snap actually took the cake. Bravo, Petey Faggins.

14. The Schaub was, in a word, brilliant. He made the right reads, went through his progressions, protected the ball, and all in all looked absolutely nothing like the fraud we saw in the first two games of the season. It was undeniably the biggest game of his professional career, and Matt Schaub played his position about as well as it can be played. Kudos to Kubes as well for scripting the first several plays to feature short passes that would allow Schaub to get into a rhythm and build his confidence. Simply a superlative performance, and I have no doubt The Schaub would have led the Texans to victory if we hadn't lost the coin flip at the beginning of overtime.

15. Owen Daniels showed why he is one of the, if not the, best young TE(s) in the NFL--made some tough catches and picked up yards after the catch.

16. I know it's stupid, but I'm worried about Andre Johnson. Tremendous catch in the middle of the field late in the fourth quarter aside, he just doesn't look like the 'Dre we all know and love. He's more decoy than No. 1 WR right now. What gives?

17. Thankfully, Kevin Walter was there to pick up his slack (and/or vulture his TDs, if you're a 'Dre fantasy owner). He seemed to pick up that crucial last yard to cross the marker whenever the situation called for it, and he flashed the skills that shocked everyone not named Gary Kubiak last season. More, please.

18. Stupendous job in pass protection by the OL. The Schaub was clean all day, and we were all reminded of how effective the passing game can be if he's given time to throw. I was particularly impressed with the interior of the line, especially after the beating(s) they took in the first two games.

19. It's a really, really good thing that we hardly ever hear an announcer utter Duane Brown's name.

20. There weren't a ton of holes created for Steve Slaton to get through, but I loved the way he looked between the tackles. Factor in the additional facet the offense picks up by featuring him as a legitimate option out of the backfield, and Slaton could be a poor man's version of Brian Westbrook.

21. Is anyone else tickled that Ahman Green has lost out on $400,000.00 since the season opener? Given Slaton's emergence, at what point do you just send Green to the injured reserve?

22. Fake Game Balls: Offense--The Schaub; Defense--Super Mario; Special Teams--Kris Brown.

23. Did I really compare being a Texans fan to being wrongfully convicted, imprisoned, and brutalized at the beginning of this post? Hmmmmmm....so I did. And I stand by it. At least until the first win of '08.

When the Texans' original schedule was released, most of us in the fan base were ecstatic with the placement of our bye week (Week 8).  But unfortunately for us,  Hurricane Ike had different ideas...

With Ike wreaking havoc along the Coastal Bend and knocking holes in the roof at Reliant Stadium, it left little chance that the Texans would host a home game any time soon.  And because the game of football doesn't lend itself to playing doubleheaders, the only real solution was to rearrange the schedule and soldier on. 

Now, the participants in Week One live game thread can attest to the fact that I held out until sometime in the third quarter before I lost all hope.  Regardless of the situation, I usually try to remain optimistic.  Much like last year's Carolina game, when the chips were down, the Texans clawed their way back into that game and kicked some ass... while history didn't repeat itself in week one, the lesson still remains.  

So why do I mention it?  Because as fans, we can bitch and moan about having to burn our bye week only one game into the season...or we can try to focus on the positives.  So without further ado, here are five (5) silver linings that came from the clouds of Hurricane Ike.

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In the face of an impending hurricane, the Texans carried on with this week's practices with one thing on their minds - preparing for the Baltimore Ravens.  With last Sunday's debacle in rear view mirror, the Texans have only one goal, prove to everyone that they are better than their week one showing.

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SON OF A .... What can I say? Yesterday, we all witnessed a beating the likes of which we thought we had left in the rearview mirror. Evidently, we were wrong, because the Steelers destroyed your Houston Texans in every way they could be destroyed. If they had been so inclined, Roethlisberger, Parker & Co. could have hung fifty (50) points on the Texans; the only reason that didn't happen was because the Steelers took the proverbial knee in the fourth quarter and threw all of four (4) passes in the third quarter. I haven't seen a team impose its will on the Texans like that, from start to finish, in quite some time. Sure, last season's effort against San Diego was ghastly; maybe this is conveniently revisionist history, but I don't remember it being as categorically pathetic as yesterday's disaster. In short, the Texans played about as poorly as they possibly could, and certainly far worse than any of us ever dreamed. They should be ashamed of themselves. I'm going to swallow my own tongue if I don't stop thinking about the game; let's get this PGB cranked out so we can begin the healing process:

1. Hey, I know it was only limited action, but Ahman Green made it through an entire ga---...what's that? You're kidding me. I did NOT see that one coming. Evidently, neither did Ahman or his agent. Still, there's a good chance Ahman Green made $1,800,000.00 for contributing thirty-one (31) total yards this season. What a country!

2. The statistics don't show it, but I thought Steve Slaton acquitted himself pretty well in his regular season debut. He ran hard and decisively. Truth be told, Ahman looked reasonably good too, right up until he began clutching his Life-Alert pendant.

3. Where was Chris Taylor?

4. The offensive line, on the whole, looked like they should have suited up for a junior high powderpuff game. Although they showed flashes of competence, this certainly wasn't what Alex Gibbs was brought here to do. Look, I know Pittsburgh has one of the, if not the, best front-seven(s) in the NFL. They're fast, they play a unique scheme, and they attack. The Texans might not face a better defense this year. But you know what? I don't care. The Texans were so severely whipped in the trenches (on both sides of the ball, but we'll get to the defense later) that they didn't even look like they were in the same league as the Steelers. They got beat off the edge. They got beat on the interior. They got pushed around. They looked totally overmatched, and that's on the coaches and the players. Specifically...

5. Chris Myers seemed to constantly be giving ground at the point of attack. Granted, that's nearly a given considering Mt. Hampton was the dude doing a lot of the taking, but I was still surprised at how often and how severely Myers looked to be on the wrong end of the battle.

6. I know Duane Brown has garnered mixed reviews from his debut, but I thought he performed fairly well in the first half and was then victimized in the second half by a Pro Bowler who's probably as fast or faster than anyone he'll see all season. Brown's a rookie starting at LT, and he's going to take his lumps. No reason to panic yet, especially not after he looked so capable throughout the preseason.

7. Ephraim Salaam looked pretty slow in limited duty, so I wouldn't harbor any illusions about him displacing D. Brown.

8. As I watched the game, I remarked to my buddy that Matt Schaub was doing his best impression of David Carr, circa 2006. Awful pocket presence. Horrible decisions with the ball, including two (2) interceptions that made me recoil in horror. Seemed to lock in on 'Dre and not survey the field. Took some brutal hits early (Vonta Leach in particular almost got Schaub decapitated on one of the five (5) sacks) and then looked rattled for the rest of game. And if you didn't watch the game and just looked at his final numbers, you'd think that he didn't play nearly as badly as he did. The similarities are chilling, aren't they?

9. All that said, Kubes was absolutely right not to bring Sage Rosenfels in. With Pittsburgh running as soft a scheme as you'll ever see in the fourth quarter, the Texans were bound to score a garbage TD or two. And better for Schaub to be the one "leading" those drives, even though we know they meant nothing. Had Sage been the guy under center for those meaningless snaps, we would've been bombarded with incessant yammering about how Sage led the team to TDs in limited action when Schaub couldn't do it. It would have been ludicrous, but it still would've been a distraction the team does not need.

10. Speaking of meaningless snaps, what the hell was Andre Johnson doing in there once the score was 35-3? Does Kubes not remember what happened when he pulled that crap nearly one year ago to the day? I'm all for 'Dre getting his (hell, he's on my fantasy team), but that was a ridiculous risk the team shouldn't be taking with its best offensive player.

11. Kevin Walter and Owen Daniels each had one amazing catch. Would have been nice to see Schaub give them opportunities to go for two, three, four, or even five more receptions, huh?

12. Apostrophe Davis and Jacoby Jones held on to the ball during returns. That's about the nicest thing I can say about their impact on the game.

13. You would not believe how much Steelers fans despise Kris Brown. If you ever want to have some fun with one, tell them how automatic and clutch Brown has been as a Texan.

14. Mario Williams was fantastic. It's clear that he's picked up where he left off at the end of last season. He was superb. As bad as the game was, thinking about how dominant he was is the overriding positive. Praise doesn't do him justice.

15. The rest of the defensive line, however, was putrid. I'm going to stroke out if I write too long about it, so I'll break it down as quickly as I can. Neither Anthony Weaver or Travis Johnson should start another game for the Texans. Weaver is completely impotent at DE, and Tr. Johnson alternates between ineffective and galactically stupid (e.g., his horrible and catastrophic personal foul, one of which he seems to be good for each week). There's no way, and I mean NO WAY, that the alternatives at DE and/or DT could perform any worse. Please, Kubes...make an executive decision here. Weaver and Johnson are simply awful.

16. I thought Amobi Okoye made a play or two, but the stat sheet doesn't show it. If the Texans are going to be anything other than Super Mario & the Three Clowns, Amobi needs to find another gear.

17. I had Willie Parker on my fantasy team last season, and he scored two (2) TDs all year. Yesterday, he scored three (3) in one game. Clearly, Willie knew I was at Heinz Field yesterday and wanted to give me the bird. Message received loud and clear, Mr. Parker. I hate you.

18. DeMeco was all over the field, as usual. But it's not good when he's making 90% of his tackles ten (10) yards downfield.

19. Zac Diles racked up a ton of tackles, but I wasn't overly impressed with him. Still, that's worlds better than Morlon Greenwood. Remember when I called him "the most underrated defensive player in the NFL?" Dumbassery like that is why people don't take blogs seriously. Hey, X-Factor--get healthy already!

20. Fred Bennett looked like Petey Faggins yesterday.

21. Jacques Reeves looked surprisingly decent yesterday.

22. Any time the middle of the field looks like you could land an airplane in it, the safeties are not doing their jobs. Demps and Brown might as well have been on the sidelines for all the good they did. Is that on them, or is it on Richard Smith? I'll reserve judgment for now.

23. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Andre Johnson; Defense--Mario Williams; Special Teams--Matt Turk.

24. Finally, I just want to share a few thoughts on my trip to the Steel City. My buddy had warned me how much the Steelers meant to the city, how dedicated their fans were, how it was a different place than Houston. I'm here to tell you that whatever you've heard about how passionate Steelers fans are, multiply it by ten. You go to a city that boasts an NFL team the day before the game, and maybe you'll see a sign or two in a storefront; maybe you'll see a local wearing some gear. What you won't see is 80% of the population wearing some sort of team paraphernalia on a non-game day. Yet that's exactly what I saw in Pittsburgh, everywhere I went. The city is absolutely devoted to that team. To say I was amazed is an understatement.

And lest you think Steeler Nation is full of over-the-top pricks, let me say this: I could not have been treated any better as an opposing fan during my time in Pittsburgh. Granted, perhaps a Browns fan wouldn't be afforded that same respect. But I was, and it stuck with me. I got some good-natured ribbing (e.g., a dude wearing a Jack Lambert jersey telling me I had "big balls wearing a Texans shirt in this town"), but it was all in fun. The disastrous game aside, I have nothing but good things to say about Pittsburgh and their fans. They're first class, and they should be proud.

In less than a week, the Ravens come to town for the Texans' home opener. It goes without saying that this is a gigantic game for the good guys. Baltimore features an offense, a rookie QB, and a stout defense that should provide plenty of opportunity for redemption. Time to answer the bell, boys.

This is only the first game.

Okay, this is the first of many post-game diatribes to come, as I'm sure Tim will have a post-game breakdown that will shed more light on what went wrong today.

I have a couple of things that I need to get off of my chest. 

Offensive Woes

First - we couldn't stop the pass rush.  I understand that Pittsburgh is a monster because of the exotic blitz packages they throw at you, but it looked like no one on our line could stop the onslaught. 

As expected, the rookie looked like a rookie, but the rest of the guys have no real excuse.  For example, when we were threatening in the red zone after Mario's and DeMeco's outstanding defensive play, Myers got knocked off the block so quickly, that Myers himself should have been credited with the tackle on Slaton.  

The play calling was also suspect as we never opened up the passing game.  Sure, you could say that Schaub never had the time, but still, most of the pass plays were to the flat or on a west coast slant route.

Schaub himself looked nervous in the pocket.  I never saw the devil-may-care attitude that a quarterback needs in the face of pressure.  I understand that that is easier said than done, but again, I never got the sense that he rallied the offense to respond.  

The running game was hard to judge at times because the team didn't  stick to it.  While Ahman Green showed that he still has some burst left in those legs, he only had five carries.  BRB favorite Steve Slaton carried the majority of the load with 13 carries for 43 yards.  That's not going to cut it.  And even though I'm slightly inebriated and haven't replayed the game on my DVR, I can't remember Slaton running the ball once to the outside ala Fast Willie Parker.  

Where was Owen Daniels in the first half, never mind the game?  When the blitz came, he should have been there to pick up an easy six or seven yards.   For him to only haul in one pass in the first half (late in the 2nd qtr) and a couple in garbage time in the 4th is not acceptable.  He's a Pro Bowler waiting to blossom.  Use the M'er F'er.

Defensive Woes

Why can't we stop the sweep in the red zone?  I understand that the field gets shortened, but really, that should be to the defense's advantage.  Our team got beat each and every time in the red zone.  Nothing was sacred.

Jacques Reeves actually looked decent in coverage.  He had a couple of balls caught on him, but they were of the nearly indefensible varitety (quick in routes).

The Fred on the other hand has some work to do.  He got taken to school by Hines Ward, who again proved that you don't have to be the fleetest of foot to win the race.  Hines used his veteran savvy to keep Bennett off balance all game.

Other than Mario, no one on the D-line stepped up to the plate.  That pretty much falls in line with what we all knew: Mario is a beast, six tackles, two sacks, and a forced fumble. He was phenomenally fantastic.

Our safeties looked slow.  I know we brought Eugene Wilson in to play corner... but can we please look at him at safety?  That would mean moving Demps to strong safety, but I think I like that combo better than Demps and Brown. 

Overall

The team needs to do some serious soul searching as they begin preparing for the home opener next week.  They should have a much easier time with the Ravens, and I fully expect to see us at an even .500 this time next week. 

Until then, I'll be eating my vitamins and saying my prayers in hopes of a better tomorrow.  For Kubiak and Co., it's back to the drawing board.

 

As always, here are the final stats. While we still need to temper our reactions (deep breath...it's only preseason...it's only preseason...exhale), Saturday night's win at New Orleans left us with plenty to chew on. Let's get going:

1. Matt Schaub played QB about as well as it can possibly be played. Whereas his effort the week before featured one abominable throw, Saturday night's showing was epic from start to finish. We all know it, but it bears mentioning again: If he stays upright, he's going to be a top ten QB in the NFL this season.

2. I was a bit critical of Sage in the live game threads (here and here), and I'll admit the numbers don't back me up. But he made a throw or two that looked like Schaub's mistake last week, so the stats may not tell the whole story.

3. Another positive: Chris Brown carried the ball eight (8) times (for a paltry 19 yards) and seemingly managed to avoid breaking, tearing, rupturing, spraining, straining, and/or tweaking anything. Wonders never cease.

4. From what I've seen, I believe the coaching staff is giving Chris Taylor every opportunity to be RB2 in this offense. He's looked good at times and average to slightly below-average most of the time, however, so the jury's out on whether he will win the gig.

5. Steve Slaton looked markedly better in Week Two. I'm excited about the possibility of him stealing the starting job by Pittsburgh.

6. Kevin Walter is a damn fine WR, and I'm ashamed that I ever doubted him. Preseason or no preseason, 100 receiving yards in a half is elite work.

7. Considering the high regard I hold for K-Dub, it with the utmost respect I say this: David Anderson is a poor man's Kevin Walter. Dude is strong-arming his way into the WR rotation. Speaking of...

8. Jacoby Jones is strong-arming his way to irrelevance. If he doesn't get his act together, he's going to get into Texans games as much as I will this year.

9. The OL looked unbelievable in pass protection again, and I thought the run-blocking was better than the week before (though there's still plenty of room for improvement there).

10. Duane Brown continues to impress. I mean, REALLY impress. It's only preseason, but the guy looks like he knows what he's doing. Quick--name another Texans LT you could say that about week-to-week.

11. Morlon Greenwood looked bad...again.

12. He was by no means alone. I thought the defense as a whole looked mediocre at best and like a doormat at worst. ZERO pass rush. Decent job stopping the run. Horrendous job in pass coverage, though a couple of Brees' long completions honestly could not have been defended any better; Brees just made perfect throws. Speaking of...

13. Jacques Reeves looked like the Jacques Reeves Dallas fans were so happy to see depart more often than not. I had high hopes that Antwaun Molden would pick up the slack, but Molden looked like the rookie he is. He'll get better, I know. Reeves will get better, I pray.

14. Great safety play from Demps and Brown. They were good in run support last week, and I thought they improved in the passing game this week.

15. Overall, another game that meant nothing, though it was nice to see the Texans have to manage the game at the end to win. Most importantly, no season-ending injuries. We'll take it.

Next up: "America's Team" on Friday night. You know, if your "America" is Satan's playground.

First things first: Box score is here. Since we haven't made it to the regular season yet and most of the starters didn't play after the first quarter, this'll be a far more abbreviated PGB than the usual song and dance. Without further ado, here's what stood out to me as I watched Kris Brown prove once again why it's becoming increasingly permissible to spell "Chris" with a "K":

1. Based upon an admittedly small sample size from yesterday's contest, Super Mario is going to take it to another level this year. He's otherwordly.

2. The Schaub looked pretty sharp, with the exception of that lone red zone throw into triple coverage. I'm going to pretend that didn't happen, lest I have to double my lithium dose.

3. Sage Rosenfels was, in a word, brilliant. His TD pass to David Anderson and forty-one (41) yard completion to Jacoby Jones were things of beauty.

4. Speaking of...David Anderson is making this team as the fifth WR. And I'm ecstatic about it.

5. Speaking of...Jacoby Jones broke every damn rule in the return game playbook with his fumbled return, yet he had exactly one guy to beat when he coughed it up. Otherwise, he's going to the house and we're all raving about him being back.

6. Kevin Walter is going to be even better this year than he was last year. And that's saying something.

7. Regarding Apostrophe Davis, see the preceding point. I don't know that I'd trade Houston's receiving corps for any other team's in the NFL.

8. The running game did not look to be any better than it was last year, though Steve Slaton did show flashes of potential in his first few carries.

9. Ahman Green hurting himself on the first preseason play from scrimmage, without anyone touching him, would be funny if it wasn't so completely expected. Not that any of us was really counting on Green playing 16 games this year, but this is silly.

10. The OL looked very solid in pass protection.

11. And I'd be remiss if I didn't note that Duane Brown looked stupendous in his professional debut. Quick feet, good hands, no penalties...it's only preseason, but I really liked what I saw.

12. The defense did not look good at all. They were absolutely victimized in the flat and consistently looked slow to the sideline. Not good.

13. I love Morlon Greenwood. You love Morlon Greenwood. I did not love his play last night. He was either (1) out of position or (2) a step or two behind. Either one is bad.

14. But Zac Diles? Very solid effort in his starting debut.

15. The secondary was up and down. Fred Bennett got abused on some plays that he shouldn't have been if he's truly a No. 1 CB. Jacques Reeves still scares me. Jamar Fletcher was good more often than he was bad. Demps and Brown did an admirable job in run support, and didn't let anyone get behind them. And Nick Ferguson's INT caused me to jump out of my seat, spilling my lady friend's red wine all over her, me, and one of our neighbors. I felt really bad about staining an innocent spectator's khakis, but I had no such remorse for my date or myself. She shouldn't be drinking red wine at a football game, and I shouldn't be dating women who drink red wine at football games.

16. We've heard Kubes rave about Amobi Okoye taking that next step. Although he didn't play much, I saw enough to believe the hype. Well, and I want to believe it. So maybe I'm not the best impartial judge on the subject. But I believe.

17. Finally, and most importantly, keep a good thought for Louis Green, the Denver linebacker who was carted off the field on a stretcher. He's been discharged from the hospital, but that doesn't diminish the scary impact of the moment. Here's hoping he's healthy and back to making a living for his family as soon as possible.

So, BRB, what do you think? On to New Orleans!

Last Saturday, I was again fortunate enough to appear on another podcast to discuss your Houston Texans; this time, it was via the excellent fantasy football site Dynasty Rogues. If you're interested in hearing the latest edition of my audible idiocy (including my fantasy sleeper prediction), click here and take a gander about halfway down the page.

Now that his financial state has improved millions of times over, word is that Duane Brown had better improve his physical condition(ing): The Houston heat/humidity/sauna is notoriously tough on newcomers, so I'm not ringing the alarm bell yet. But it looks like Kubes has put D. Brown on notice, and it's not like the Texans are completely devoid of other options at LT. Let's hope Duane gets the message.

I hope with every fiber of my being that the title of this post works on countless levels, but Texans fans can rest assured that it works on at least one--our first-round pick won't miss a snap of training camp, thanks to signing a five (5) year deal worth $11,500,000.00 in the wee hours of the morning. No word yet on how much was guaranteed, which I imagine was the chief stumbling block to getting the deal done.

Hallelujah. Training camp is here, and all of the rookies have signed. Life is good.

[UPDATE]: Ben actually beat me to this by about two (2) hours via his FanPost. I'm a hack!

[UPDATE II]: McClain reports that Brown's deal includes $6,200,000.00 in guaranteed money. Oh, and that Chris Brown opted to attend a wedding instead of practice, which will likely result in a fine. Nice start to your time in Houston, Chris.