Have to admit, people...Monday Night games are rather fun. Not that I have anything more than a single game point of reference, but I had a heckuva time last night at Reliant. Tailgating was top-notch (many thanks to GlassJoe and the Bellville crew for their hospitality), and the atmosphere was as good as it's ever been at Reliant, which is to say that it was on par with last year's Thursday night game against Denver and/or the inaugural win over Dallas. I had a blast. And the football wasn't too shabby either.

Just when we think the season's become a foregone conclusion, your Houston Texans go on a two (2) game winning streak, complete with a road victory over a team that won ten (10) games in 2007 and a prime time win over a division rival that many pundits had tabbed as a Super Bowl contender in 2008. While it goes without saying that things haven't worked out for those two (2) teams as they had hoped this season, winning streaks in the NFL are a rarity and should be enjoyed accordingly.

That said, we should remain realistic. The Texans aren't going to the playoffs, which means they won't be winning the Super Bowl this year. In the final analysis, that's what matters. We should celebrate the positives along the way, and we should study why other facets aren't working. Lest there by any confusion, there are still several things that should continue to raise the collective eyebrow of the Battle Red community, even after a big-time win. Fortunately, that's what we have the PGB for. Away we go:

1. One guy that doesn't concern me in any way, shape, or form is this dude. Five (5) tackles, three (3) sacks, and a forced fumble. I'm beginning to think the Texans' lack of prime time games is chiefly due to a conspiracy by Goodell, the Free Masons, and Opus Dei centered around keeping Super Mario from breaking the single-season sack record. Gushing aside, we need to start a serious discussion about whether Mario Williams is the best DE in the league. If not him, then who? At minimum, if Super Mario isn't considered one of the best five (5) DEs in the league, I'd like to know who you'd rank higher.

2. You're not fooling me, Corpse Formerly Known As Anthony Weaver. Two (2) good games does not justify $6,206,720.00 this season.

3. Pedestrian stats aside, last night may have been as good as Amobi Okoye played all season. Not tenth-player-taken-overall-in-2007 good enough, but improvement nonetheless. I'm intrigued by Matt's suggestion of temporarily moving him to DE, though I'm considerably less bullish about Okoye's ability to stop the run at the edge.

4. Another week of Frank Okam not even suiting up. Yet Travis Johnson continues to start. What is it we're missing here? In related news, DelJuan Robinson's forced fumble makes him a more productive Texan than Travis Johnson has been or ever will be.

5. Don't look now, but DeMeco Ryans has returned to form. That's too bad for the teams left on the Texans' schedule.

6. Xavier Adibi continues to excite me. His speed and nose for the ball make him the perfect complement for DeMeco. I said it last week, and I'll say it again: The potential LB triumvirate of Diles, Ryans, and Adibi in 2009 should be a joy to watch.

7. Speaking of last week, I said this about Jacques Reeves:

8. The stats indicate that Jacques Reeves played very well yesterday. And yes, he actually did make a nice play (with his hands!) in knocking away what could have been a TD pass to Braylon Edwards. And yes, he did show some nice awareness picking off a deflected ball. And yes, he did force a fumble. If he can replicate that effort in every game for the rest of the season, I will consider backing off my assertion that he is one of the, if not the, worst CB(s) in the NFL. Not until then.

I stand by that, even in the face of recent praise of his play. His pick last night was a thing of beauty, though, and the best read I've seen him make all season.

8. I'm still amazed every time I see Dunta Robinson on the field. I'm even more amazed that he looks significantly better with each passing week.

9. Fred Bennett, however, does not look good. At all. At one point last night, he got completely turned around and managed to lose both his assignment and the ball at the sideline. What happened to him? Do opposing teams have enough tape on him now to exploit his tendencies?

10. I continue to be impressed with Nick Ferguson and Eugene Wilson, especially in run support. Both of them, especially Ferguson, sure can hit. Neither guy is a long-term solution at safety, but they've stepped in and shored up what was a complete disaster of a secondary.

11. I'm going to flesh this out in a separate post, but I'll tease it here: Should we be worried that the defense may be looking too good and thus enables Richard Smith to remain as DC in 2009?

12. Bryan Pittman is the Travis Johnson of the special teams unit. He underwhelms every week, yet manages to hold onto his job. Why? I can't imagine that finding a decent long snapper who hasn't (allegedly) run afoul of the league's substance abuse policy is that tough to do.

13. Three (3) punts by Matt Turk, all of them inside the twenty, and one of them was on the JAC 1. Nice work.

14. Kris Brown has been the most consistently excellent Texan throughout the franchise's history. Andre Johnson's been the best, but you can set your watch to Kris Brown. Which is why I do not understand Kubes' refusal to let Brown tee it up from 54 yards toward the end of the first quarter. It worked out, as Turk boxed 'em in at the JAC 1, but still...let Brown boot that and take the points.

15. That last point underscores a very distinct feeling I got from Kubes once your Houston Texans went up ten (10) points: That we were playing not to lose instead of playing to win. Steve Slaton rendered that feeling obsolete with his fourth quarter heroics, but the calls still struck me as too conservative.

16. That previous point begs the question as to why Kubes played it so close to the vest. The answer, I'd bet, is that he doesn't trust Sage Rosenfels. That's well and good; I can understand that. If Kubes really doesn't trust Sage, then why wasn't Matt Schaub starting?

17. The most unfortunate byproduct of Kubes/Shanahan not opening things up was that they implicitly reduced Andre Johnson's impact, which should have been much greater, especially when Rashean Mathis left the game. And that's not even playing up the fact that Owen Daniels and Kevin Walter were afterthoughts in the offensive scheme as well.

18. This is all palatable, of course, because of the singular brilliance of Steve Slaton. 182 total yards? Two (2) TDs? Are you kidding me? Now the rest of the country knows what we've known for months: Steve Slaton was the steal of the 2008 draft. If Smithiak brings in an effective short-yardage RB to shoulder some of the load next season, the running game will have been completely transformed in one year's time.

19. A big part of that transformation has been the development of the OL. They were brilliant again last night, opening up holes and not yielding a single sack. I don't know what Bob McNair is paying Alex Gibbs, but it's not enough.

20. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Steve Slaton; Defense--Mario Williams; Special Teams--Matt Turk.

21. One final point: Last night's open game threads (here and here) were the best we've ever had at BRB, both in terms of number of participants and quality of comments. Thanks to all of you; you make BRB what it is. Special thanks to HuskerDolphin and Mike Clark for being tremendously classy fans on a foreign site. Hope to see all of you back here.

Your Houston Texans have a short week before they travel to the Frozen Tundra to take on the Packers of Green Bay on Sunday. That's a tall order for any team, and it's an especially tall order for a young team that's trying to handle an unfamiliar bout with success. I don't love our chances, but we'll worry about that in another day or so. Until then, let's just savor the first Monday Night game, and the first Monday Night victory, in franchise history.

Rosenfels! Quinn! It's Texans-Browns!

Given how the season's gone thus far, I've found myself trying to find the silver lining in being a Texans fan. It's gotten to be downright painful to watch your Houston Texans each week. There's little hope for victory, and seeing the same mistakes week in and week out is giving me ulcers, not to mention increasingly tough Monday mornings. There's a lot to dislike about this team right now, and approximately 85% of it revolves around the defense. Still, here's a silver lining for you: At least we have a team.

Remember 1997-2001? I do. Our fall Sundays may have been more productive during that five (5) year stretch of void, but something was missing. We watched the games, yet we didn't really have anything invested in them. Well, except money, though that's neither here nor there. For all the Texans' foibles, they're ours. And that's worth its weight in gold, even if right now that worth is generally defined by a burning sensation and blinding rage.

Three (3) things that are sure to occur (read: no way these things will happen; the author is an idiot) when your Houston Texans invade Cleveland tomorrow afternoon:

1. Shaun Rogers is going to show us what a real, honest-to-god-of-your-choice DT/NT can do. Look at the picture in the Comments to this post over at Dawgs By Nature. Now imagine how having a player like that could open things up for Amobi Okoye. Now weep. It's okay. I'm not going to think any less of you.

Better? Good. Get ready for Chris Myers to get pushed back five (5) yards on every snap tomorrow. That's not an indictment of Myers; he's a lighter offensive lineman who can't be expected to contain a guy of Rogers' size by himself. That means guard help throughout the game, which should open lanes for Browns linebackers. Advantage: Team That Actually Plays A Huge DT Instead Of Giving The Majority Of The Snaps To A Smaller, Below-Average DT.

2. Dunta Robinson returns to the starting lineup with a bang. I'm calling a pick for the best DB on the roster as he continues to round into pre-injury form. In related news, whoever starts at the other CB spot (Reeves? Faggins? Bennett?) is going to be picked on alllllllll day with nary an adjustment from Richard Smith. That last statement isn't a prediction. It's a fact.

3. I've got a feeling that Owen Daniels and Andre Johnson are going to have sizable statistical days. As in, 89 yards receiving for OD and 107 yards receiving (with a TD) for 'Dre. Shanahan/Kubes have generally done a great job reincorporating those guys back into the offense the week after not going to them enough.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Two words, folks. Road game. Until further notice, I can't pick your Houston Texans to win away from Reliant. Texans 24, Browns 30.

In the latest example that Giles Corey was likely the first fan of your Houston Texans, the Chronicle reports that DE Earl Cochran is done for the year, thanks to a torn ligament in his right big toe. Tip 'o the cap to Chris at Houston Diehards for first bringing this crushing development to my attention in the Comments to this post.

Even though Cochran wasn't starting opposite Super Mario (for reasons I will never understand), this is a sizable loss, if for no other reason than the fact that it guarantees more snaps for The Corpse Formerly Known As Anthony Weaver. In turn, this also means that the Houston pass rush will again be limited to the efforts of Super Mario and Tim Bulman (whenever he's fortunate enough to get onto the field).

A word of warning to Bulman: Be wary of exposing any fingers or toes in the presence of Travis Johnson and/or Anthony Weaver. Now that Cochran's out of the way, you could be next.

I'd really love the opportunity to gush over your Houston Texans in a PGB. Truly, I would. It's infinitely better than having to make chicken salad out of chicken fecal matter. The Texans, however, apparently do not see fit to give their fans something to cheer about. Instead, we're treated to another week of coach-speak about "going to work," "finding ways to be effective," "playing clean," and the like. At this point, that garbage is simply nauseating muzak in the proverbial Texan fan's elevator. We've heard it too many times for it to be anything but background noise.

Be honest with us, Smithiak. Your charges have won thirty percent (30%) of their games this season. That means they're actually running behind the franchise's abysmal lifetime winning pace. That's like losing a footrace to a blind man with no legs. Your team looks to be a virtual lock to go winless on the road. The offense is capable of putting together very solid efforts that will inevitably collapse when it matters most, primarily due to quarterbacks who have an innate ability to give the opposition the ball at the absolute worst possible time. Thanks to a breathtaking combination of mind-boggling coaching decisions and a secondary that should be accompanied by a Surgeon General's Warning, the defense is a complete and utter joke. If not for Super Mario and DeMeco, the Houston defense wouldn't be good enough to stop a Division III offense. Your best defensive back and team leader is coming off a horrific injury and, while gamely trying to shake the rust off, is still another offseason away from making a tangible difference in the weakest area of your team.

In short, this is a bad football team. We know it. You know it. Let's stop the charade.

That's not to say that all is lost; there's most assuredly a healthy amount of talent on this team in addition to Mario, DeMeco, and Dunta. Andre Johnson is the best wide receiver in football. Owen Daniels is one of the best tight ends in football. Kevin Walter is a fine WR2. Steve Slaton is the kind of explosive threat at RB this team has never had. Jacoby Jones is a weapon in the return game (though hanging onto the ball is still a concern). The offensive line shows flashes of dominance and has improved throughout the season. And Jebus help him, Matt Schaub could be the answer at QB if he (1) is able to stay on the field for more than three consecutive weeks at a time and (2) realizes that the terms of his contract do not require one to two turnovers per game. The cupboard is not bare. There's plenty of work to be done and plenty of talent to be upgraded, but there's enough here to form a foundation from which success can be built.

We know Rome wasn't built in a day, and you did inherit a 2-14 mess. We know that. Yet the same old platitudes do nothing for us. They're grating. They don't show anywhere near the frustration that we're feeling. The frustration you should be feeling. Shake things up, for crying out loud. You know who's not performing. If you don't, go ahead and search BRB, DGDB&D, Houston Diehards, Stephanie Stradley, and/or any other Texans message board or fan site for the following phrases:

"Anthony Weaver"
"Travis Johnson"
"Jacques Reeves"
"Petey Faggins"

You could add Morlon Greenwood to that list, but an injury has made him a non-issue for now. I'd love nothing more than to add any Houston safety to the list as well, but I think the Wilson-Ferguson tandem may be the best option in a bad lot right now.

Play Frank Okam. Play Antwaun Molden. Play Tim Bulman. Play Earl Cochran. Play Fred Bennett (who looked like arse yesterday, but remains a youngster with promise). Keep Xavier Adibi out there, even if Greenwood gets healthy. None of those guys may prove to be the answer at their respective positions. Maybe one of them will, though. Maybe two. Maybe all of them. Try 'em and see. You are a 3-7 football team. Find out which areas need to be targeted with the greatest intensity in the draft (and to a lesser extent, free agency). You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Do it.

Limited chestnuts from the latest loss to Peyton Manning & Co.:

1. See what happens when Steve Slaton gets the ball? As good as he was (and he was awesome), kudos to the OL for run-blocking at the highest level we've seen all year. They were dynamite.

2. Special props to Ahman Green. That second TD was due to a tremendous second effort. I fully expected him to tear an ACL celebrating.

3. If Duane Brown can't figure out how to stop speed rushers off the end, we are in deep trouble. Alex Gibbs, you're our only hope.

4. I get that the plan was to keep Peyton Manning off the field by running the ball. That's a good plan. But something's still wrong when Owen Daniels only has one catch and Andre Johnson only has five (5); I don't think the latter even got a pass thrown his way in the second or third quarters. You have to figure out a way to get the ball into the hands of your playmakers.

5. As echoed by Matt here, there wasn't a single Texans fan whose surname is not "Rosenfels" who did not call that game-ending interception well before it happened. I couldn't even muster any anger about it. Just bleak resignation. Crippler of my soul, thy name is Sage.

6. Super Mario didn't register a sack, but he was thisfreakingclose to sacking Peyton on at least a half-dozen plays that I saw. Yes, Peyton Manning is that good, though you have to give Richard Smith credit for totally disregarding a blatant mismatch.

7. It's 10:17 p.m., and Richard Smith is still gainfully employed as the defensive coordinator of your Houston Texans. What he did in a previous life to deserve this kind of invincibility, I'll never know.

8. The secondary still drains me of my will to live. Nothing new there.

9. What is new, however, is The X-Factor. I've made no bones about the man-crush I have on Adibi; I feel like a proud father right now. Or I would. If I had kids, and one of them was Xavier Adibi. I'm getting light-headed.

10. Another Texans loss, another case of questionable timeout management by the coaching staff. Really would've been nice to have one or two extra timeouts on that last drive, huh? Especially when one of them was burned due to having thirteen (13!) players on the field and therefore avoidable under every circumstance? Oh, Richard Smith...you are evil. What dark force injected you into this earthly plane?

11. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Steve Slaton; Defense--Xavier Adibi; Special Teams--Kris Brown.

Your Houston Texans travel to the Dawg Pound on Sunday. Yup, it's a road game. Yup, we're dead in the water.

As mentioned in Part I, it's time to take a closer look at some of the individual performances from Sunday's win over the Dolphins. Let's get this show on the road, shall we?

1. Starting with The Schaub seems like the only way to go. I cannot be effusive enough in my praise when it comes to admiring the stones it took for him to lead that game-winning drive. I also cannot be critical enough when it comes to wincing in response to some of his throws/decisions. The first INT, I'm willing to forgive; he was hit as he threw, and the LB had to sky to get it. The second INT, on the other hand, was abysmal; it was a terrible decision to try to throw into double (triple?) coverage across the middle. It's simply inexcusable to throw that ball there. Schaub also got exceedingly lucky on a few other throws that probably should have been picked off. Bottom line is that The Schaub looked to be off all afternoon, made some horrific decisions, and won the game for his team. That's what the kids call the ultimate silver lining.

 

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Pardon the blatant abuse of Bon Jovi in the title to this post, if you will. As I was debating how to recap yesterday's game, I was struck by the duality of your Houston Texans after their loss to the Jaguars of Jacksonville. On one hand, the passing game looked terrific. On the other hand, the running game continued to look like it has since the franchise's inception. Which is to say, inconsistent at best, and nonexistent at worst. Still, that middling effort was far better than what we saw out of the defense, particularly in the second half. And no matter what kind of spin we try to put on it, the fact remains that your Houston Texans have lost three (3) in a row, two (2) of which were within the division. Dress it up all you want, but that burns.

The breaking dawn on the horizon, of course, is that the good guys don't have to leave their new open-air stadium for the next month. And while I'd certainly rather be catching the Colts with a semblance of momentum and/or not coming off their bye week, they haven't looked like the Colts we've grown accustomed to crushing our collective will to live playing, and they've got some real injury issues of their own. After Indy, the Texans host Miami, Detroit, and Cincinnati. While it's admittedly unreasonable to think the hometown team is going to rattle off four (4) wins in a row, it's not entirely insane to hope that they take three (3) of the next four.

So how does this tie in to yesterday afternoon's loss? Before yesterday, the Texans had not given us a reason to think they were capable of winning three (3) games all season, much less three of their next four. Now? We can at least hope. As I've realized that being a Texans fan is the sporting equivalent of being Andy Dufresne, all I can say is that hope is a good thing, and no good thing ever dies. Unless your secondary murders it. Segue, baby!

1. I really have nothing good to say about any of the Houston defensive backs. They can't tackle, and they can't cover. I'm no expert, but I think the chronic failure to do both of those things bodes very poorly for them (and by extension, us) for the rest of the season.

2. Staying on the secondary, C.C. Brown broke his arm and is out for the season. Normally, it'd be a huge blow to lose your starting strong safety. And hell, maybe it will be in C.C.'s case. But I believe there's an excellent chance that whoever takes over the starting gig (Dominique Barber? Nick Ferguson?) cannot be any worse. So we've got that going for us, which is nice.

3. Jacques Reeves can stay stride for stride with any WR in the league. Unfortunately for us, playing CB requires the occasional movement of one's arms and/or turning of one's head. Both of those qualities seem to be beyond Pepe Le Pew's skill set.

4. Fred Bennett just makes me sad. Remember how good he was last year?

5. DeMeco made some unreal plays yesterday, but he also missed what might have been the biggest tackle of his professional career in overtime (ended up setting up the winning FG for Scobee). Scobee would've probably hit anything closer than 55 yards out, so in the final analysis, it's not like it was catastrophic, but still...I expect more from the leader of the defense.

6. When did Quincy Monk steal Morlon Greenwood's identity and roster spot?

7. The pass rush is still mostly a figment of my imagination, but the Texans did put David Garrard on his back quite a few times, albeit not for sacks. Super Mario might as well have had a saddle on his back throughout most of the game, yet he still managed to be disruptive. I also really liked what I saw from Earl Cochran; he was about 758 times more active than Anthony Weaver's corpse usually is.

8. At DT, Amobi Okoye continues to be a complete non-factor. What the hell's the deal? Is he too small/light to penetrate and/or tie up blockers? Does he need a planetoid like Frank Okam playing next to him to allow him to contribute? Whatever the hold-up is, Richard Smith had better figure out how to take advantage of Okoye's talent. I hesitate to put too much of Okoye's struggles on Okoye himself, purely because I remember how effective he looked early in his rookie season. Plus, the thought of the Texans whiffing on two (2) first-round defensive tackles in a three (3) year period makes me want to jam a pair of scissors in my eye.

9. Travis Johnson was healthy enough to play, yet he didn't get the start. Jeff Zgonina ain't Warren Sapp, but at least he's not a headcase liable to pick up a personal foul or two, all the while running his mouth at a rate approximately 235 times faster than he moves in the trenches.

10. In the time it's taken you to read this far, David Garrard could have completed fifteen (15) consecutive slants without Richard Smith making a single adjustment. On a related note, perhaps our venerable defensive coordinator has used the thirty (30) hours since the game ended to figure out that maybe, just maybe, it might be a good idea to spy David Garrard instead of letting him singlehandedly scramble down the middle of the field what seemed like eight (8) straight times.

11. Kris Brown continues to be the most consistent player on the entire roster.

12. What does it say about Jacoby Jones that I would have rather had him not touch the ball, allowing it to be downed at the one-yard line, instead of picking it up and trying to return it? I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown every time he fields a punt and/or catches a pass.

13. Final word on special teams: I'm no professional football player or coach, but I believe a timeout might be warranted when you notice Jacksonville's "punt team" does not actually feature anyone lining up to punt the ball. And as bad as that was, the abhorrent tackling featured after the snap actually took the cake. Bravo, Petey Faggins.

14. The Schaub was, in a word, brilliant. He made the right reads, went through his progressions, protected the ball, and all in all looked absolutely nothing like the fraud we saw in the first two games of the season. It was undeniably the biggest game of his professional career, and Matt Schaub played his position about as well as it can be played. Kudos to Kubes as well for scripting the first several plays to feature short passes that would allow Schaub to get into a rhythm and build his confidence. Simply a superlative performance, and I have no doubt The Schaub would have led the Texans to victory if we hadn't lost the coin flip at the beginning of overtime.

15. Owen Daniels showed why he is one of the, if not the, best young TE(s) in the NFL--made some tough catches and picked up yards after the catch.

16. I know it's stupid, but I'm worried about Andre Johnson. Tremendous catch in the middle of the field late in the fourth quarter aside, he just doesn't look like the 'Dre we all know and love. He's more decoy than No. 1 WR right now. What gives?

17. Thankfully, Kevin Walter was there to pick up his slack (and/or vulture his TDs, if you're a 'Dre fantasy owner). He seemed to pick up that crucial last yard to cross the marker whenever the situation called for it, and he flashed the skills that shocked everyone not named Gary Kubiak last season. More, please.

18. Stupendous job in pass protection by the OL. The Schaub was clean all day, and we were all reminded of how effective the passing game can be if he's given time to throw. I was particularly impressed with the interior of the line, especially after the beating(s) they took in the first two games.

19. It's a really, really good thing that we hardly ever hear an announcer utter Duane Brown's name.

20. There weren't a ton of holes created for Steve Slaton to get through, but I loved the way he looked between the tackles. Factor in the additional facet the offense picks up by featuring him as a legitimate option out of the backfield, and Slaton could be a poor man's version of Brian Westbrook.

21. Is anyone else tickled that Ahman Green has lost out on $400,000.00 since the season opener? Given Slaton's emergence, at what point do you just send Green to the injured reserve?

22. Fake Game Balls: Offense--The Schaub; Defense--Super Mario; Special Teams--Kris Brown.

23. Did I really compare being a Texans fan to being wrongfully convicted, imprisoned, and brutalized at the beginning of this post? Hmmmmmm....so I did. And I stand by it. At least until the first win of '08.

Okay, I was non-existent for this week's live game blog and it was with good reason, I was fulfilling my commitment to the USAFR.  Now, be being the true fan that I am, I had my better half record it and didn't watch what happened until after the game had long been decided.  That's not to say that I didn't have an idea of what happened - a chance meeting with my unit's only other proclaimed Texans fan pretty much clued me in - his expression told me all I needed to know...

So with the power of DVR, I watched the game twice... first time building a buzz, and the next stinking drunk.  Now, the funny thing is that I didn't start taking game notes until the second game.  The following is based on what I saw with my two bloodshot eyes.

 

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Due to a failed two-point conversion (that I'm betting even Wade Phillips would've rather seen converted if it meant getting to avoid overtime and the risk of injury to anyone on his squad), this year's Governor's Cup returns to Dallas. Make no mistake, though--if not for a couple of costly/timely turnovers by the opposition, this game would've gotten ugly. Here's the final box score.

Critiquing after preseason games is tough. As fans, we really have no idea how closely the coaches played it to the vest. If you're truly trying to win a football game, you play your best players as much as possible; you don't sit them after a half or three (3) quarters. With that in mind, I think we all need to take a deep breath and not completely lose our collective mind just yet. Three (3) preseason games is, however, enough of a sample size for us to note one fairly troubling pattern:

Your Houston Texans defense has not stopped the opposition with anything approaching regularity.

No need to panic yet, but Richard Smith & Co. are not exactly engendering confidence amongst the battle red masses. Save the hysteria until we see how the squad does at Pittsburgh and at home hosting Baltimore. A few other observations:

1. Keep those good thoughts coming for Harry Williams. Surgery was apparently successful yesterday, and all of our best should go to Williams and his family.

2. Still no pass rush. At all. And yes, I know: Super Mario was working against double and triple teams most of the evening. But you know what? That should, in theory, mean that other players were free to get to Tony Romo, who had all the time in the world to do whatever he wanted on Friday night. Dallas' OL is one of the best in the league, but to not disrupt the offense at all? Inexcusable, regardless of whether Richard Smith refused to unveil any of his plus packages or schemes.

3. If I was Rosevelt Colvin, I'd be rather worried that I was going to get Keenan McCardelled in a day or five. Colvin's done next to nothing in game action.

4. If Chris Brown makes this team, I'll be flabbergasted. The guy is a walking justification for the non-guaranteed contract system embraced by the NFL.

5. For reasons unknown to me, Kubes continues to insist that Ahman Green will be ready to play by Week One. If he in fact is deemed "healthy," he's going to start. And when Green inevitably pulls a hamstring during the national anthem, Steve Slaton will be your new No. 1 RB.

6. Good to see Andre Johnson back on the field, but it was pretty clear his timing was off. He was a complete non-factor.

7. The Schaub looked absolutely brutal for the first quarter of Friday night's game before transforming into the QB we saw dissect New Orleans a week ago. While the OL didn't surrender a sack, Schaub and Rosenfels were forced to deliver the ball earlier than they would've liked for the majority of the night.

8. Kevin Walter won't sneak up on opposing teams this year, but I think the guy's still going to improve on last year's numbers. He just has a knack for making the tough catch, and I think Schaub is very comfortable going to him in any situation.

9. Apostrophe Davis is what Jacoby Jones should be.

10. Nice to see Owen Daniels raising his game as the preseason has progressed. Honestly, can you give me another team's 3 WR/1 TE set that you'd rather have than 'Dre/Walter/Apostrophe/Daniels?

11. Aside from Super Mario's goal line strip (recovered by Frank Okam), the run defense was abysmal on Friday night. And the pass defense wasn't any better. I'm no expert, but you're going to have problems winning football games if you can't stop the other team on the ground or through the air. At this point in the analysis, I'm of the mind that we're going to see an awful lot of shootouts this season.

12. Jacques Reeves continues to implicitly encourage the NFL to replace the numbers on the back of his jersey with a bullseye.

13. DeMeco Ryans looked like DeMeco Ryans on Friday night.

14. Zac Diles is your starter at SLB. There should be no further debate, especially since that INT he snagged in the end zone almost made me spontaneously combust.

15. We're counting on Fred Bennett to be a No. 1, shutdown CB. It's only preseason, but he has not looked like one yet. Considering he's going to have The Human Torch or a rookie on the other side of the field from him, this terrifies me.

16. Kris Brown seems to get better every game. The guy is automatic.

I've rambled enough. What say you, BRB? Who's impressed you? Made you question the existence of a benevolent Creator? Share your takes in the Comments below.

Watching Smithiak work this offseason has left me hungry for the next 23 weeks of football.  Specifically, Texans football.  This Saturday, we're finally getting the hors d' orderrves of this football feast. 

Sitting here, writing this, getting ready to watch the guy lost in Mario Williams 6'7" shadow hang out with his former QB and his own shadow problems, got me thinking about what I want to see during the Texans pre-season.

 

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Last Saturday, I was again fortunate enough to appear on another podcast to discuss your Houston Texans; this time, it was via the excellent fantasy football site Dynasty Rogues. If you're interested in hearing the latest edition of my audible idiocy (including my fantasy sleeper prediction), click here and take a gander about halfway down the page.