Quick recap of the Texans' 2008 season so far, in chronological order:

I'll be damned if I know what Texan fans did to anger the Man Upstairs like this. Can David Carr really have that much pull? In light of how the season's played out thus far, I feel pretty good predicting that the following three (3) things shall occur on Sunday when the Fins invade Reliant:

1. The taps at Reliant Stadium will begin dispensing blood instead of beer.

2. A swarm of locusts will darken the sky over Reliant Stadium and consume the remaining roof panels.

3. In lieu of a coin flip, we'll see the death of Toro's firstborn at midfield.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: If you want to read something that'll make you believe the Texans are going to be victorious for the first time in 2008 on Sunday afternoon, check out Jerome Solomon here. Personally, I'm still skeptical. Ahhhh, screw it. Dolphins 24, Texans 31. The Schaub throws for 250 yards, with 2 TD and O INT. 'Dre finishes with 89 yards and a TD. Slaton accumulates 97 total yards and a TD. And Apostrophe Davis runs one back to the house. I'm all in! And possibly mentally incompetent!

I'd be lying if I said that my extended absence was purely work related, but truth be told, higher headquarters inspections are a mother.  So again, I was Aiming High this past weekend and didn't watch the game until after the contest had long been decided.  Like last time, I did my best to avoid all contact with football until I got home and started chugging beers.  The only thing that clued me in to what happened was a text from a buddy of mine (Saints fan):  "Your team is kicking ass".  Imagine my excitement... 

There was a certain irony to the unfortunate events that took place on Sunday afternoon.  It's taken me several days to actually put into perspective what I saw.  In a sense, the game left me feeling Minnesota.

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A day later, I really don't feel any different than I did last night. I still maintain that Sage Rosenfels gave Indianapolis the game. I still maintain that the coaches and/or playcalling were not responsible for the loss, though I appreciate the solid back-and-forth that the two camps had going in the Comments to the previous post.

Regardless of how much affinity we have for the Texans, we will always remember yesterday for the last four (4) minutes in the fourth quarter. And that's a huge shame, because there were so many standout performances from other Texans. Although it's surely no consolation to Sage, I also think one Texan in particular should send Sage a cash basket in appreciation for keeping the suck spotlight off of him. Let's get to it:

1. The reason the Texans looked like a complete football team for the first time this season was due entirely to the appearance of an element that's been absent nearly the entire season. That magical component? A pass rush. Your Houston Texans, and specifically their front four, got consistent pressure on Peyton Manning and knocked him on his rear throughout the game. Super Mario notched two (2) sacks and was in Peyton's kitchen all afternoon, disrupting the flow of the Indy offense. We've come to expect that from Mario, so that's not a big surprise. But you know who did show up for the first time this season?

2. Amobi Okoye! He got more penetration than we've seen all season; he was getting to and knocking down Peyton consistently in the second half. Could yesterday have been Amobi's arrival as a force to be reckoned with, like Super Mario did against Kansas City last year?

3. Linebacking play was far better than it's been all season, too. While DeMeco is always going to be a stalwart, I was impressed with how well Zac Diles and (gasp!) Morlon Greenwood played. Greenwood in particular made some nice tackles at the line of scrimmage and slightly behind it.

4. That brings me to another crucial point: The tackling was infinitely better yesterday than it's been all season. The Texans wrapped up and generally didn't let the opposition squirm away, unlike their efforts the previous three (3) games.

5. Was it just me, or did anyone else think we got better safety play from the "reserves" than we have from Brown and Demps?

6. Fred Bennett had a couple of very nice plays, though I'm not sure that each one called for a celebration akin to having won the Super Bowl. Hopefully, like Amobi, this is the start of something big.

7. The worst player on the field whenever the Colts had the ball was easily Jacques Reeves. If not for Sage monopolizing the fanbase's scorn, Reeves' insistence on continuing to play CB as if he has no arms and wearing a neck brace would be the overriding negative of the game. He's simply awful, and he's clearly the weakest link in a weak secondary. It's only a slight exaggeration to say that I'd rather have Dunta Robinson hobbling around on crutches out there instead of Reeves at 100%.

8. In the rare event that Pepe Le Pew has any defenders, please do not point to the pass he "knocked away" in the end zone in the first half. Marvin Harrison had Reeves beat; Peyton simply underthrew that ball. Frenchy wouldn't have been able to lay a hand on it if he'd actually been in good position. That's not good corner play. But congratulations, Jacques Reeves. You've done the impossible. You've made me long for Petey Faggins to get more snaps. Do you know how dirty that makes me feel?

9. Seriously...I'd rather have Petey Faggins, who I thought was the worst DB in the league, get more playing time than a free agent acquisition inked to a multi-year deal mere months ago. Chew on that for a bit, and then try not to vomit.

10. The offensive line, both in run and pass blocking, was superb. Duane Brown in particular did an admirable job holding off Dwight Freeney. Freeney beat him a couple of times, but I thought the rookie acquitted himself in tremendous fashion. And did you see how Brown was sprinting after Gary Brackett after Sage's first fumble? Talk about heart.

11. The next decent snap Bryan Pittman makes will be the first I've seen in a month. How has he not been cut yet?

12. Steve Slaton continues to look like he was the steal of the draft. I honestly could not be any happier with him.

13. Was that Ahman Green I saw running hard between the tackles? And not pulling up lame? I must have been drunk.

14. 'Dre--Nine (9) catches for 131 yards and a TD. He's back.

15. Quick: Name five (5) current tight ends you'd rather have than Owen Daniels. Can you do it? Because I can't.

16. As a whole, the offense looked like a well-oiled machine. Well, at least until the unpleasantness at the end, that is.

17. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Andre Johnson; Defense--Mario Williams; Special Teams--Kris Brown (with a special nod to Kevin Bentley, whose special teams play is becoming a consistent rave every week).

18. I'll leave you with an observation from my buddy Jay. You remember Jay; he become a bit of a legend around these parts after his conduct in Nashville last year. When we met up after the game, Jay attempted to express his feelings on the loss. I can assure you I am only barely paraphrasing here when I report that he uttered the following line:

If today's game was a hurricane, I feel like my house got blown away. And then I was raped by looters.

Pardon the blatant abuse of Bon Jovi in the title to this post, if you will. As I was debating how to recap yesterday's game, I was struck by the duality of your Houston Texans after their loss to the Jaguars of Jacksonville. On one hand, the passing game looked terrific. On the other hand, the running game continued to look like it has since the franchise's inception. Which is to say, inconsistent at best, and nonexistent at worst. Still, that middling effort was far better than what we saw out of the defense, particularly in the second half. And no matter what kind of spin we try to put on it, the fact remains that your Houston Texans have lost three (3) in a row, two (2) of which were within the division. Dress it up all you want, but that burns.

The breaking dawn on the horizon, of course, is that the good guys don't have to leave their new open-air stadium for the next month. And while I'd certainly rather be catching the Colts with a semblance of momentum and/or not coming off their bye week, they haven't looked like the Colts we've grown accustomed to crushing our collective will to live playing, and they've got some real injury issues of their own. After Indy, the Texans host Miami, Detroit, and Cincinnati. While it's admittedly unreasonable to think the hometown team is going to rattle off four (4) wins in a row, it's not entirely insane to hope that they take three (3) of the next four.

So how does this tie in to yesterday afternoon's loss? Before yesterday, the Texans had not given us a reason to think they were capable of winning three (3) games all season, much less three of their next four. Now? We can at least hope. As I've realized that being a Texans fan is the sporting equivalent of being Andy Dufresne, all I can say is that hope is a good thing, and no good thing ever dies. Unless your secondary murders it. Segue, baby!

1. I really have nothing good to say about any of the Houston defensive backs. They can't tackle, and they can't cover. I'm no expert, but I think the chronic failure to do both of those things bodes very poorly for them (and by extension, us) for the rest of the season.

2. Staying on the secondary, C.C. Brown broke his arm and is out for the season. Normally, it'd be a huge blow to lose your starting strong safety. And hell, maybe it will be in C.C.'s case. But I believe there's an excellent chance that whoever takes over the starting gig (Dominique Barber? Nick Ferguson?) cannot be any worse. So we've got that going for us, which is nice.

3. Jacques Reeves can stay stride for stride with any WR in the league. Unfortunately for us, playing CB requires the occasional movement of one's arms and/or turning of one's head. Both of those qualities seem to be beyond Pepe Le Pew's skill set.

4. Fred Bennett just makes me sad. Remember how good he was last year?

5. DeMeco made some unreal plays yesterday, but he also missed what might have been the biggest tackle of his professional career in overtime (ended up setting up the winning FG for Scobee). Scobee would've probably hit anything closer than 55 yards out, so in the final analysis, it's not like it was catastrophic, but still...I expect more from the leader of the defense.

6. When did Quincy Monk steal Morlon Greenwood's identity and roster spot?

7. The pass rush is still mostly a figment of my imagination, but the Texans did put David Garrard on his back quite a few times, albeit not for sacks. Super Mario might as well have had a saddle on his back throughout most of the game, yet he still managed to be disruptive. I also really liked what I saw from Earl Cochran; he was about 758 times more active than Anthony Weaver's corpse usually is.

8. At DT, Amobi Okoye continues to be a complete non-factor. What the hell's the deal? Is he too small/light to penetrate and/or tie up blockers? Does he need a planetoid like Frank Okam playing next to him to allow him to contribute? Whatever the hold-up is, Richard Smith had better figure out how to take advantage of Okoye's talent. I hesitate to put too much of Okoye's struggles on Okoye himself, purely because I remember how effective he looked early in his rookie season. Plus, the thought of the Texans whiffing on two (2) first-round defensive tackles in a three (3) year period makes me want to jam a pair of scissors in my eye.

9. Travis Johnson was healthy enough to play, yet he didn't get the start. Jeff Zgonina ain't Warren Sapp, but at least he's not a headcase liable to pick up a personal foul or two, all the while running his mouth at a rate approximately 235 times faster than he moves in the trenches.

10. In the time it's taken you to read this far, David Garrard could have completed fifteen (15) consecutive slants without Richard Smith making a single adjustment. On a related note, perhaps our venerable defensive coordinator has used the thirty (30) hours since the game ended to figure out that maybe, just maybe, it might be a good idea to spy David Garrard instead of letting him singlehandedly scramble down the middle of the field what seemed like eight (8) straight times.

11. Kris Brown continues to be the most consistent player on the entire roster.

12. What does it say about Jacoby Jones that I would have rather had him not touch the ball, allowing it to be downed at the one-yard line, instead of picking it up and trying to return it? I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown every time he fields a punt and/or catches a pass.

13. Final word on special teams: I'm no professional football player or coach, but I believe a timeout might be warranted when you notice Jacksonville's "punt team" does not actually feature anyone lining up to punt the ball. And as bad as that was, the abhorrent tackling featured after the snap actually took the cake. Bravo, Petey Faggins.

14. The Schaub was, in a word, brilliant. He made the right reads, went through his progressions, protected the ball, and all in all looked absolutely nothing like the fraud we saw in the first two games of the season. It was undeniably the biggest game of his professional career, and Matt Schaub played his position about as well as it can be played. Kudos to Kubes as well for scripting the first several plays to feature short passes that would allow Schaub to get into a rhythm and build his confidence. Simply a superlative performance, and I have no doubt The Schaub would have led the Texans to victory if we hadn't lost the coin flip at the beginning of overtime.

15. Owen Daniels showed why he is one of the, if not the, best young TE(s) in the NFL--made some tough catches and picked up yards after the catch.

16. I know it's stupid, but I'm worried about Andre Johnson. Tremendous catch in the middle of the field late in the fourth quarter aside, he just doesn't look like the 'Dre we all know and love. He's more decoy than No. 1 WR right now. What gives?

17. Thankfully, Kevin Walter was there to pick up his slack (and/or vulture his TDs, if you're a 'Dre fantasy owner). He seemed to pick up that crucial last yard to cross the marker whenever the situation called for it, and he flashed the skills that shocked everyone not named Gary Kubiak last season. More, please.

18. Stupendous job in pass protection by the OL. The Schaub was clean all day, and we were all reminded of how effective the passing game can be if he's given time to throw. I was particularly impressed with the interior of the line, especially after the beating(s) they took in the first two games.

19. It's a really, really good thing that we hardly ever hear an announcer utter Duane Brown's name.

20. There weren't a ton of holes created for Steve Slaton to get through, but I loved the way he looked between the tackles. Factor in the additional facet the offense picks up by featuring him as a legitimate option out of the backfield, and Slaton could be a poor man's version of Brian Westbrook.

21. Is anyone else tickled that Ahman Green has lost out on $400,000.00 since the season opener? Given Slaton's emergence, at what point do you just send Green to the injured reserve?

22. Fake Game Balls: Offense--The Schaub; Defense--Super Mario; Special Teams--Kris Brown.

23. Did I really compare being a Texans fan to being wrongfully convicted, imprisoned, and brutalized at the beginning of this post? Hmmmmmm....so I did. And I stand by it. At least until the first win of '08.

I'd like to thank SOLIS for ably filling in for me last week when I was battling the Gulf Coast's return to medieval times. That whole no-electricity thing made me feel like a freaking serf without a lord, and I have the utmost sympathy for the approximately 19% of my neighbors who are still without power today. I'm keeping a good thought for all of you, and I hope the lights come on as quickly as possible.

Not coincidentially, that's the same wish I have for your Houston Texans. After the abominations that were visited upon us in Pittsburgh and Nashville, it's high time that Kubes & Co. give us something to believe in. Hell, I'm not even demanding a win. I just want a football team to show up on Sunday to play the Jags. That's not too much to ask, I don't think. Enough of my whining...three (3) things that will happen on Sunday afternoon:

1. Matt Schaub will look like a professional QB. I'm not saying he's going to channel his inner Tom Brady and throw for 300 yards, but I do believe that we'll all be breathing a bit easier come Sunday night. I'm calling 247 yards through the air with two (2) TDs (one of which will be caught by Andre Johnson) and one (1) INT. That's reasonable, isn't it?

2. The pass rush is still going to stink, despite the battered state of Jacksonville's offensive line. I'd love to be able to excitedly call for an Okoye sack, but he's looked more like Anthony Weaver than Super Mario. Look for David Garrard to get hassled a time or three (3) by "The Biggest Bust In the History of Mankind," yet for Garrard to have ample time throughout most of the game to pick apart a Houston secondary ripe for exploitation. I'll be bold and predict that Fred Bennett snags his first INT of the season, though I think that will be the lone bright spot defending the pass all afternoon.

3. Looking for a ray of light? Steve Slaton will be one. I don't see 100 yards on the ground in his future; instead, let's say he accounts for 100 total yards (71 on the ground and a few receptions for 29 via the air).

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Man, I'd love to predict a Houston victory. After the first two (2) games of the season, however, that would merit commitment to a mental hospital.  The Texans have looked really bad on balance thus far, and that's the state of the union until further notice. I see a friskier effort that makes us feel better; unfortunately, I also see another loss. Texans 20, Jags 27.

A lot of people were, shall we say, disappointed with my recap of the Texans 31-12 loss on Sunday.  People said that I was looking at the game through Vandermeer-colored glasses.  After all, the Texans just lost by 19.  How can you say it was a good game?  I'm glad you asked.

Yes, the Texans lost and yes, the Texans had some bad plays in there.  Despite all that, I saw a world of awesome plays and even better, a winning game plan.

Let's look at the numbers.

The Texans' offense ran 65 plays.  Even with the frantic passing attempts at the end of the game, they still came away with 57% passing/43% running.  That's an incredibly balanced offensive attack.  These plays were run out of 19 different formations.  That means the Titans' defense saw a new look at least every 3.4 plays.  It was far more often than that on most drives.

Schaub was shaky at times in the passing game, but he still put the ball where it needed to go more often than not.  The "not" hurt with 3 interceptions and a few critical incompletes, but he's doing his job.  With more practice, he'll do it better. 

Also, there were numerous deep passes called.  Kubiak had Schaub throwing to the flats, to the middle of the field, and deep down the side lines.  As the game progressed, the Titans pass rush picked up in intensity.  Kubiak had Schaub switch to 3 step drops as well as throw 2 great screens to slow down the pass rush.

The things that excited me most about the passing game were the play actions and bootlegs that were called.  The Titans' defense was stacking 8-9 men in the box, and Kubiak started calling play actions and bootlegs against it.  The Titans' defense backed up real quick.  I'm excited because Kubiak made extensive use of some of his favorite tools in the passing game.

The running game itself was very even.  With the exception of when it went directly behind the combination of Chris Myers and Mike Brisiel (RG) the running plays were called in every direction.  I suspect that not as many running plays were called to go off right guard both because of a lack of power in that offensive line combination and as most runs off RG are straight at Albert Haynesworth.

Which brings me to a point I made in earlier posts: The Texans' offense played a very physical game.  They moved all over the place in zone blocking for rushes and in pass protection.  I reiterate that it was a great achievement to make Fat Albert run until he had to come off the field for a part of the game after having such a bad game against another fatty, Casey Hampton.  This time Kubiak made the fat men run, and it had an effect.  This will only improve with each game.

Most importantly, and I stress most importantly, Kubiak played the whole game from start to finish to win.  He wasn't trying to keep it close.  This game was a dog fight, and Kubiak had the Texans fighting the whole game.  Rather than hope the Titans were going to slip up somewhere and have the Texans steal a win, Kubiak took it to them.  He called 11 plays that were designed specifically to put the ball in the end zone.  He took shots at the end zone from the 16 all the way out to the 35.  They didn't pan out this game, but he took his shots.  He went down in a blaze of glory.  We know we have a coach who is playing to win.  After years of a coach who played not to lose, I'm excited that we have a coach that knows how to win.

The scoring in this game was not as lopsided as the final score makes it appear.  Examine the graph above and you'll see actual scoring on each drive, as well as the 11 attempts at the end zone.  Despite all the mistakes along the way, it wasn't until midway through the 4th quarter that the game was out of reach.  For the whole second half, a touchdown would have drastically changed the makeup of the game and Kubiak went for the TD over and over.

This game was a tale of 2 teams going all out.  Take a look at the game book.  First Downs: TEX 18 / TIT 19, 3rd Down Eff: TEX 20% / TIT 38%, Total Net Yds: TEX 317 / TIT 343, Total Off Plays: TEX 68 TIT 62, Average Gain: TEX 4.7 / TIT 5.5, Net Pass Yds: TEX 171 / TIT 189, Gross Pass Yds: TEX 188 / TIT 189.  Even Net Punt Avg: TEX 38.8 / TIT 37.2. 

There is only one stat that killed the Texans.  Red Zone: TEX 1-6 17% / TIT 4-4 100%

That said, there are 3 things the Texans need to work on and games like this could turn into a 40+ point rout of the opponent. 

Red Zone - The Texans are driving the ball down the field and not finishing.  This has been a problem all along for the Texans, but now they're so close.  Kubiak called 11 plays that were designed to specifiaclly put the ball in the endzone. That's a possible 77 points.  Coming away with 1 TD and 12 total points says that when the Texans improve in the red zone, and when they do, they'll be hanging 30+ on opponents regularly. 

Matt Schaub to Andre Johnson - Something is broken here.  They are not in sync.  I would make them stay after ever practice and throw every route imaginable until they are scoring TDs.  Kubiak called AJ's number 12 times in the game.  Of those 12 times, 5 of those plays had AJ in the endzone and he had 0 TD receptions.  Of those 12 targets, he only had 2 receptions for 29 yards. 

Running Game - The running game showed some life, especially with Steve Slaton going 18/116 1TD and an amazing 6.4 YPC.  Yet, there were several running plays that managed to only pick up 3 or less yards.  As the OL keeps working, I believe that the running game is going to be solid and churn out yards.

I'll look at the individual drives tomorrow and the defense later this week.

Okay, I was non-existent for this week's live game blog and it was with good reason, I was fulfilling my commitment to the USAFR.  Now, be being the true fan that I am, I had my better half record it and didn't watch what happened until after the game had long been decided.  That's not to say that I didn't have an idea of what happened - a chance meeting with my unit's only other proclaimed Texans fan pretty much clued me in - his expression told me all I needed to know...

So with the power of DVR, I watched the game twice... first time building a buzz, and the next stinking drunk.  Now, the funny thing is that I didn't start taking game notes until the second game.  The following is based on what I saw with my two bloodshot eyes.

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I'd love to sit here and tell you that your Houston Texans are "the best 0-2 team you'll ever see." Really, I would. But I can't, because they're not. The numbers don't lie.

Since the 2008 regular season began, the Texans have looked like something that is expelled from a canine's anus. In reality, your Houston Texans have looked far more like the two (2) win team of 2005 than the eight (8) win team of 2007. And yes, I know...the Texans have played two (2) teams that feature defenses likely to be ranked in the Top Five at season's end. And I also realize that the effects of Hurricane Ike surely weighed heavy on the minds of everyone in the Houston organization for the last week. The fact remains, however, that hurricane or no hurricane, talented opponent or not, the Texans we saw in Pittsburgh and Nashville could not have beaten anyone in the NFL. They sucked. Badly. Pure and simple. There's no way around that. And if they don't turn this thing around quickly, we're headed for a first-round pick in the first hour of the 2009 NFL Draft.

Luckily (right now; that may change) for us, there's still a ton of football to be played. All's not lost...yet. But yesterday reinforced several of the issues we saw in Pittsburgh. Let's get down to brass tacks, shall we?

1. There are very few positives to be gleaned from yesterday's abomination, so I'm getting those out of the way first. The brightest spot, of course, was Steve Slaton (18 carries for 116 yards and a TD). While nearly half of those yards came from one run, when was the last time a Texan RB even broke off a run of more than ten (10) yards? I'm not looking that gift horse in the mouth. Not that we have to worry about it, because it would actually require Ahman Green to suit up, but there should be ZERO debate over who should be starting at RB.

2. Apostrophe Davis was also a solid contributor yesterday. Between his good returns and that forty-nine (49) yard reception, Davis did not make me want to vomit into an airplane pillowcase (consider that last phrase a bit of foreshadowing, gentle reader).

3. The offensive line wasn't great. They probably weren't even good. But I'd say they were passable. They got pushed around too much by another tremendous front four (especially up the middle), but they were not nearly as cringe-inducing as they had been at Heinz Field. I guess what I'm saying is that they sucked a good deal less than they did in their prior engagement. That's worth something, right? Kind of like being the prettiest girl in Oklahoma.

4. I suppose it's technically possible for Matt Schaub to play worse than he has the last two (2) games. After all, there's always another interception to be thrown, more happy feet to display in the pocket, more refusals to look at anyone other than your first read, etc. On an afternoon that saw several Texans striving to be declared the crappiest player on the field, Schaub won the title going away. His interceptions, like those that he threw against the Steelers, were atrocious. How in the hell can Schaub look so bad now when he looked so solid in several games last year? What happened?

5. That said, I don't think you can pull the plug yet. At this point, we've got a body of severely contrasting work. Is he the guy we saw last year against the Saints? Or is he the guy we saw yesterday? I don't know, though I'd readily admit he's trending downward at a precipitous rate. The most important game of his professional career takes place on Sunday in Jacksonville. If Schaub doesn't play one hundred times better, the calls for Sage Rosenfels will be completely justified and may well be impossible for Kubes to ignore.

6. As horrible as Schaub was, he got absolutely no help from his WRs. Andre Johnson dropped two (2) surefire TD passes, and Owen Daniels bobbled away/dropped another one that he should have caught. If those guys aren't going to catch the balls that are thrown their way, the Texans will be lucky to stay within two (2) TDs of anyone all year.

7. Vonta Leach remains a viable option in the passing game, and I remain perplexed as to why this is so.

8. The offensive playcalling was extraordinarily suspect, and I'm not even talking about the six (6) times Kubes went for it on fourth down (that gets its own paragraph). One play really sticks out to me in particular. Third and four from the Houston 20, early third quarter, Texans trailing 21-12. And the call is a pitch outside to Slaton? Zuh? This ain't college ball, and Slaton ain't Barry Sanders. I cannot imagine a poorer call that would not have included taking a knee. But hey, at least that was on third down, because on fourth down...

9. Kubes treated the game like it was Tecmo Bowl. Punting? What's that? Field goals? Those are for wimps! Never mind that Kris Brown is as close to automatic as it gets, and that you could have cut the deficit to six (6) points by simply taking the three (3) each time, thus giving yourself a chance to win the game in the fourth quarter. Nah--letting your anemic offense and jittery QB spit the bit to keep the deficit at twelve (12) is a far more sound strategy.

10. Of course, kicking those FGs would have required Bryan Pittman snapping the ball, which is apparently asking an awful lot out of a guy whose only job is to snap the ball. It was almost like he and Matt Turk got together before the game and said, "Remember last year's game in San Diego? Let's see if we can top it!" Well, congrats, fellas. Turk staggering around like a drunken sorority pledge, complete with his patented falling-down-on-ass-and-chucking-football-straight-up-in-the-air move, was priceless. It'll haunt my dreams for years to come.

11. While we're on the subject of field goals, you cannot settle for two (2) of them when the Titans turn the ball over twice early in the game, giving the Texans unbelievable field position. A good team gets ten (10) points out of those turnovers. A very good team gets fourteen (14). The Texans got six (6). You do the math.

12. You know what would be swell? A pass rush. Whereas in weeks past we've at least been able to rave about Super Mario, the Titans did a tremendous job making him a complete non-factor. Normally, you'd like to think someone else would step up to fill that hole, but instead we got more of the same from the DL: Nothing.

13. Linebacking play was below average. Not nearly as bad as the defensive line, but not good by any stretch of the imagination.

14. Jacques Reeves' first quarter INT was awesome. So awesome, in fact, that ol' Jacques decided he was done touching the ball for the day, steadfastly refusing to acknowledge that the football was coming his way a few more times when he was stride for stride with the WR.

15. Fred Bennett, please take a look at tape from last year and attempt to re-capture that technique. I beg you.

16. Will Demps made what I would say was the worst tackle I've ever had the displeasure to see in person on Bo Scaife's TD catch. Frankly, calling it a tackle is misleading, because Demps looked like he was aiming for the ground two (2) yards in front of Scaife.

17. Dunta Robinson was easily the most pumped up individual on the Houston sideline. Unfortunately, he is not playing for another several weeks.

18. One more note on Kubiak...his penchant for ill-conceived challenges has become laughable, but I don't know how much of that is on him. Doesn't he have someone upstairs who's watching the game on video and telling him when a play should be challenged? I believe he does, and I believe I'd be scouring the classifieds today if I was that person.

19. You probably think the title of this post is some sort of metaphor or exaggeration. Or you did, until I hinted otherwise. So here's the story: Dejected after the beating our squad took (and beginning to wonder if my travel to the road games was serving as some sort of jinx), I headed to the airport to fly home. My buddies and I stopped for some food in the Terminal A food court. I decided that some Chinese food would ease my troubled soul, and proceeded to order from Manchu Wok. As I ate it, I remarked to my friends that the chicken did not taste very good. But because I (a) was hungry and (b) am a dumbass, I ate most of it.

Fast forward an hour, and guess who unswallowed his dinner? Into an airplane pillowcase, no less, as his seat didn't have any barf-bags and the damn drink cart was blocking the path to the lavatory? There I sat for another hour, with a seeping sack of barely digested Chinese food at my feet and my sense of self-worth slightly lessened.

You might ask why I'm telling you this terrible tale, and the answer is simple: First, it's somewhat amusing. Secondly, it shows that things can get worse, even when they seem like they can't. Keep that in mind on Sunday when the Texans face the Jags.

I finally got to watch and think about every minute of this weeks game and I am nothing but excited.  Sure the score says it was 31-12, but that's not what I saw on the field.  I saw a solid exciting football team playing their hearts out.

The Texans have faced 2 of the nastiest challenges possible back to back and have gotten better each week.  They to Pittsburgh and got buried, but gave them a few good licks.  And then the Texans got battered by Hurricane Ike before taking the field on the road again to battle the Titans.

And battle they did.  I don't think I saw a single play where I wondered "what in the hell are they doing".  I was cheering into the final seconds.

Gary Kubiak

Many congratulations are deserved this week.  First and foremost, Gary Kubiak for having the balls to go for it on 4th down 6 times.  This was an all out dog fight.  What better way to show your players that you have confidence in them than to let them make a play.  The Texans didn't catch as many breaks as they needed, but they still made huge plays, especially on 4th down.  Keep calling them Kubiak.

Richard Smith

Whatever it was that got him to call this game the way he did, please, please let it happen again.  Our defense blitzed and pressured all game.  Yes, we didn't have any huge game changing plays this week, but there was real life there.  There was a real defense on the field.  Most plays 5-6 guys were crossing the line of scrimmage.  The Texans gave up some coverage and Collins found some holes, but they kept battering him.  By the second quarter, he was sweating profusely and breathing heavily.  Several of his throws were off target and several plays, both runs and passes, were blown up.  That's the kind of Texans defense I want to see. 

Kyle Shanahan

Whether it was Kubiak or Shanahan calling the offense, they did worlds better this week.  They got Schaub moving and it showed in the line play.  The offensive line was much better in their protection.  Most importantly, especially with our undersized mobile line, we had the Titans big fat men, running around laboring for breath.  At one point we even chased Albert Haynesworth off the field. 

Another thing they did well was adjust the play calling.  For some reason they started Schaub with 5-7 step drops and the Titans were getting to him.  By the second quarter they had switched to 3 step drops and screens which was really tearing up the Titans defense.

Third, they tried several different things and stuck with what worked.  There were no vanilla formations for the Texans.  They showed several different looks and both ran and passed out of them.  The Titans defense was noticeably slowed until the 4th quarter when they could pin their ears back. 

Fourth, Kubiak's philosophy is starting to get traction.  Schaub had several good bootlegs.  The running game actually worked this week and Kubiak was able to execute a few of his favorite plays off of it.

Lastly, They absolutely attacked the end zone.  They ran plays attacking the end zone from all over the field.  If any of those plays and scored, this would be an entirely different game.  None the less, they attacked over and over again.  The Texans will score on these plays.

Offense and defense both played a great game.  A loss to a division opponent sucks, but I've never been happier about where an 0-2 team is.

More on some individual players after the jump.

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With the ghost of Ike still maintaining a strangle hold on Tim's power grid, I've again been given the opportunity to pick up the proverbial ball here at the BRB and run with it.  So here goes the latest installment of Three and Out: Useless Predictions for Sunday's game.

1. We'll see the Texans will effectively pressure Kerry Collins in 3^rd and long situations. I can't see Kerry being able to avoid the pass rush of DE Mario Williams. Mario gets a sack and a half. Side bet: DT Amobi Okoye has a big game and also picks up a sack and a half.

 

2. The Texans will be forced to get RB Steve Slaton the ball in open space. Expect to see the Texans use a bevy of screens and sweeps. I expect Slaton to go 17 for 73, with two runs over 8 yards. Side bet: RB Chris Taylor gets the call and finds the end zone from the red zone.

 

3. Kerry Collins is has a career 73.5 quarterback rating and has almost a one to one ratio on his TDs to Interceptions (175:172). That being the case, I think we see the ball hawking kid from South Cackalaky have a much easier time this week than he did in week one. I expect Fred Bennett to have a gem of a game. Side bet: Jacques Reeves endears himself to Texans fans with his first interception.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT:  I've gone on record as saying that the Texans would sweep Tennessee this year.  I won't let one shaky start and a stupid hurricane change my opinion.  Texans come out guns ablazin' and win 24 - 14.    Hell yeah.