Matt Schaub: The Bizzaro Carr

Today's Chronicle featured two fine stories (here and here) on Houston's latest (and best) franchise QB.  While the points raised wouldn't exactly qualify as revelations for fans who have tracked the team through the offseason and preseason (e.g., Atlanta traded the wrong guy, The Schaub is the first to the facility and the last to leave every day, The Schaub is a great teammate, The Schaub seems to make the right decisions quickly, etc.), I was struck by how nearly everything written about Schaub is almost the exact opposite of what was typically written about Carolina's second-string quarterback.  

To that end, I realized that a reader could even go so far as to (1) insert Carr's name where Schaub's was and, where necessary, (2) add or remove a negative to the sentence to describe David Carr at various points of the article.  Lo and behold, the story still reads accurately.  This phenomenon is particularly evident in McClain's article.  For example, take this sentence:

Now, adjust the sentences and grammar as described above.  The revisions are in bold:

Indeed, McClain's piece in particular (as well as Dunta's nearly-unveiled criticism in Megan Manfull's piece) is as much a grocery list of Carr's foibles as it is praise of Schaub.  Not that I imagine any Texans fan would argue that Carr should still be the starting QB here, but stuff like this only reinforces the clear notion that Smithiak brought the right guy in for the job.