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No, Dunta, It's "Lockdown Corner", Not "Locked Down" Corner

Battle Red Blog is proudly a community of Texans' fans with a unique (read: disturbed) perspective on life.  Need an example?  Our reaction to this story being reported by the Chronicle.

Texans' CB Dunta Robinson may have been the direct victim in an invasion/robbery at his home in Sienna Plantation.  Sounds scary, right?  Probably was.  But since the article thankfully contains no indication that either Dunta or his family and friends were injured, we feel that it is our duty at BRB to delve deeper into this story on a pair of important fronts.

One: When in God's name will David Carr stop haunting the Texans and their fans?  For years, Fresno's Fanciest taunted the citizens of Houston and Fort Bend County by serving as the face of the "gated" Sienna Plantation on billboards and advertisements plastered throughout the city, which was somewhat intriguing considering that his family's estate was in Sweetwater, not Sienna Plantation.  Apparently the deparature of Hair from our fair city has led to the demise of this once pristine, tight-knit community, just the latest in a long line of ways that Fancy Pants scarred our great city for years to come.  

Two:  A situation such as this involving a member of the Texans' much-maligned secondary reeks of ironic comedy.  Such as, "The robbers were cornered by Robinson in his home until one of them gave Robinson a quick double-move to the inside and blazed past him on a post pattern out the front door, never to be seen again", "BRB has yet to obtain confirmation to the rumor that Seth Wand was working as a security officer at the front gate of Sienna Plantation at the time of the incident and was left standing flat in his tracks by the robbers, who ran a stunt move that left Seth helplessly praying that Domanick Williams could save the residents of Sienna by chipping at the invaders' kneecaps" or "C.C. Brown was a dinner guest at Robinson's house at the time and was supposed to be serving as backup by the front door while Robinson kept the suspects cornered in the basement, but when one of the obese, limping robbers slipped past Robinson using a headfake move, Brown was snacking on a Moon Pie on Robinson's leather couch, allowing the perpetrator to get behind Brown and out the front door to freedom".

We think our readers may have an idea or two on this story.  Spin it your way in the comments section below.

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No, Dunta, It's "Lockdown Corner",
A man gets robbed in his own home and has a gun pointed at his head.  How is this funny?  And I don't want to hear the "lighten up" comments. If you've ever been assaulted or robbed, then you know how serious this is. This is how we treat our own?  Count me out.
Every day is a good day whether it wants to be or not.

by cseafous on Sep 4, 2007 9:58 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

No, seriously...
lighten up.  And possibly buy a gun or a tiger or something if this hits too close to home.
Is it too early to hook Jacoby Jones up with Darcy Maeda?

by MDC on Sep 6, 2007 9:18 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

"Unique" Thoughts
  1. Thank God Dunta was not harmed in this incident....for the sake of himself, his family, and our secondary.
  2. Scott, this is the funniest post you've typed....and the funniest to me are usually controversial. (Example: I laugh at most things typed by MDC & BFD)
  3. Since there was no physical injury, then the worst case scenario is that Dunta doesn't have insurance to replace the stolen jewelry.  Which means he will have to wait until next week to buy new bling, when he starts receiving the 5 or 6-figure checks.  Or he could use some of the $8MM in signing bonuses we've paid him.  Poor fella.
  4. We live the great state of Texas, where it is 100% legal to shoot someone dead for breaking into your home....er, I mean, defend yourself.  Lock the damn doors, and buy a few shotguns.
  5. If Zoolander used to be associated with this place, then I definitely have to blame the Guards (security, offensive, or otherwise) for everything.  I'm sure ESPN already has.
We can be critical of the draft picks, but in the end we always support the new Texan.

by Shake on Sep 4, 2007 12:30 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

yep
It's like my grandfather (who flew over Europe during WWII) used to say, it's a good landing if you can walk away from it.

by bigfatdrunk on Sep 4, 2007 12:55 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

The fact is...
For all we know, Dunta is into some seriously kinky stuff....and he actually paid a few guys (with jewelry, not money) to put him in bondage.  Then, he made up this elaborate "robbed at gunpoint" story so nobody would get suspicious when they see some dude at the corner store wearing a platinum #23 full of diamonds around their neck.
We can be critical of the draft picks, but in the end we always support the new Texan.

by Shake on Sep 4, 2007 1:01 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

not funny
is it possible to stop making fun of a man being held at gunpoint and tied up? please. not funny, i agree with the first comment. this is not something you joke about. "for all we know dunta is into some seriously kinky stuff..." what the hell? someone broke into his house and robbed him, have some respect.

by cbass on Sep 4, 2007 1:09 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I have plenty of respect...
which is why the 1st thing I typed was "Thank God Dunta was not harmed in this incident."

And if he wasn't 100% unharmed, then we wouldn't be doing anything but praying for the guy to heal.

But he wasn't harmed, except for maybe losing some hair when the duct tape was removed.  So lighten up folks.  It's only 5 more days until game-time.

We can be critical of the draft picks, but in the end we always support the new Texan.

by Shake on Sep 4, 2007 1:26 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Shake
I was doing fine until Shake's busted joke, questioning our star cornerback's sexual preference.  It's one thing to be insenstive for the sake of a joke, which I'm more than willing to do, but please notice that I stuck to on-the-field, football-related insults rather than manhood/personal insults such as Shake's.  I know Shake was just trying to pile on, but I didn't find his "joke" to be very funny, especially because everyone knows that David Carr was the only guy on the time who possibly would have been found at the Brazos River Bottom.

As I've already said, I am grateful that Dunta & Co. emerged physically unharmed, and may I add that I understand that Tank Johnson and Lonny Baxter are both free agents, if we really want to keep our Texans safe. One or two crazy, armed bastards certainly would send a message to wannabe-thugs like these two that our Texans will not be dealt with similarly in the future.

by Scott on Sep 4, 2007 1:21 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Hey now....read carefully
I never questioned his sexual preference.

I only said that he might enjoy being tied up every now & then.

We can be critical of the draft picks, but in the end we always support the new Texan.

by Shake on Sep 4, 2007 1:29 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

So, here's the thing...
I actually find comments to the effect of "geez, stop making off-color jokes, this is SO serious" to be far more annoying than than a post making light of a situation in which no one I know got hurt.  As a general rule, I believe that laughing about something is fine, so long as the proper amount of time is observed.  And when no one is injured, the proper amount of time before you can make fun of it is roughly 21 minutes.

All of which is to say chill the hell out and either laugh or go wash the sand out.

Is it too early to hook Jacoby Jones up with Darcy Maeda?

by MDC on Sep 6, 2007 9:23 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

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