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The Onion Takes Aim At The Houston Texans


It was only a matter of time until "America's Finest News Source" turned its gaze on the league's worst team last year. Laughter hides the tears, folks.

Tom Savage Confirmed For Pro Football Hall Of Fame


Despite not yet having played a single down of professional football, Tom Savage will be shoe-horned into the 2014 Class of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Find out why in this latest edition of...

BRO: Texans Interested In Trading Back To 2013?


Rick Smith has left all his options open, including options previously thought to be impossible. Read on to see a new facet of his draft strategy.

BRO: Rick Smith Tricked, Flies To New York Early


The NFL's "silly season" has gotten a little sillier as reports are coming in that Houston Texans GM Rick Smith was fooled into thinking the NFL Draft begins this weekend and flew to New York by...

BRO: Schaub Not Feeling Enough Heat In Oakland


There's just something about Houston, and former Texans quarterback Matt Schaub isn't feeling it in Oakland.

Battle Red Onion: 56 Players To Avoid At All Costs


A simple guide for the Houston Texans to avoid making a colossal mistake in free agency.

Battle Red Onion: Texans Sign New Kicker


Proudly Distributing Sensationalized Garbage Since 2010. In this week's edition, the Texans find an answer to their pesky kicking and secondary problems.

Battle Red Onion: Fans Demand To Be Traded


So often we'll hear about players demanding to be traded to a contending team. But never have fans had the same demand made of their team's general manager.

B.R.O.: Kubiak Storms Out Of Press Conference


Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse for the Texans head coach, he has to put up with the media. And the media seems to have him figured out as well.

Battle Red Onion: Schaub Diagnosed With Illness


Things seem to only be getting worse for Matt Schaub. But his troubles may be part of a bigger concern.

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