Tag: this is totally made up but someone will think it's true anyway

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Battle Red Onion: 56 Players To Avoid At All Costs

57

A simple guide for the Houston Texans to avoid making a colossal mistake in free agency.

Battle Red Onion: Texans Sign New Kicker

24

Proudly Distributing Sensationalized Garbage Since 2010. In this week's edition, the Texans find an answer to their pesky kicking and secondary problems.

Battle Red Onion: Fans Demand To Be Traded

12

So often we'll hear about players demanding to be traded to a contending team. But never have fans had the same demand made of their team's general manager.

B.R.O.: Kubiak Storms Out Of Press Conference

21

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse for the Texans head coach, he has to put up with the media. And the media seems to have him figured out as well.

Battle Red Onion: Schaub Diagnosed With Illness

30

Things seem to only be getting worse for Matt Schaub. But his troubles may be part of a bigger concern.

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