red zone review Stories - Battle Red Blog
This Week in the Red Zone, Or How Anime Can Put This Game Into Perspective: Carolina Panthers vs. Houston Texans
I am an anime nerd. I admit it. Before I got a real job, I would spend my days watching Adult Swim's anime lineup on my DVR--when I wasn't on here, at least. One of my favorites is a show called "Fullmetal Alchemist." In that show, people can turn air into fire, scrap metal into full suits of...
This Week in the Red Zone, or Ladies and Gentlemen, Your 2011 AFC South Champion Houston Texans vs. Cincinnati Bengals
3,381 days. That's how long we've waited. It's been 3,381 days since the first game in franchise history, a thrilling 19-10 win over Quincy Carter (snicker) and the Arlington Cokeboys, and the day those same Texans clinched their first AFC South championship and entrance into the playoffs. Put...
This Week in the Red Zone, or I Hope You Don't Mind, But I Have No Intention of Facing This Sober
I, like most of you, was curious to see what would happen when Matt Leinart was given a chance to lead the first team offense in glorious combat. I wanted to believe that he could lead us to the promised land, mostly because I don't know how to tie a noose. I thought he could do it, even going up...
This Week in the Red Zone, or Can We Please Start the Playoffs Now?
As you have probably surmised by the title of this post, the Texans are in a good place right now. They have the best record in franchise history after the first ten games. That same record, 7-3 if you weren't already aware, means that if the playoffs were to start now, the road to the Super Bowl...
This Week in the Red Zone, or, Whoa There, Mullet-Fluffer!! Los Angeles Jaguars of Jacksonville v. Houston Texans
I'll be honest, I expected the Texans to win this one handily. You would think that ten years of Texans fandom would teach me to never expect anything from the Texans to be a given, especially wins. But damned fool that I am, I did expect the win. Chalk it up to having playoff expectations...
This Week in the Red Zone, or, Notes on a Curb-Stomping: Houston Texans v. Southern Kentucky Titans
It's been said that there are 400,000 words in the English language. Whether this is actually true or not is debatable. What is not debatable, however, is the fact that so many words are not enough to describe how incredibly satisfying it was to watch the BE-SFs get exposed as the frauds they...
This Week in the Red Zone, or The Greatest Work of Fiction Since Frank Bush's Playbook. Houston Texans v. Baltimore Ravens
When the Texans game is on, I am not exactly the most rational person in the world. Once the game starts, this sleek, playful exterior becomes a ranting lunatic, complete with foul language (more than usual), incoherent logic (i.e., "Schaub threw a pick, our season's over...Joseph got the ball...
The Red Zone Review, or, A Tale of Misery and Woe. Oakland Raiders vs. Houston Texans
So...that happened. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what happened in the last two minutes of the game. It's not that I didn't watch the last two minutes, or was distracted by any stretch of the imagination. I just remember a lot of screaming at the very end, my first experience with being...
Your Week Two Red Zone Review of Epic Comcastiness: Houston Texans v. Miami Dolphins
That's right, boys and girls, it's another edition of the Red Zone Review. In this week's episode we...review the Texans' performance in the red zone. Novel idea, ain't it? But before that, an aside. In all honesty, Comcast and I haven't always been on the greatest of terms. Not that anybody...
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