Also to get the damn spam off the top (hey, how many leads did you generate from that?  I'd guess -50.), I need a favor.

Does anybody have an approximate guess as to when the Texans will be making their draft pick?  I have some other family/non-football related events to attend to on Saturday, so camping out in front of the TV isn't an option.  Any sort of guess would be delightful.

Also, I can't wait to hear Mort bash us for missing out on Reggie Bush and VY.  That'll be awesome.

I'm getting the night off, so I am drinking beer, watching football, and only doing a little homework.  Oh, and the real blonde is here tonight.  BOING!!!!

Just kicking off, with Tim's permission, a Week 1 playoffs thread.

If I had 300 characters, I would be smrt.  I mean smart.  So, you still hate me.  I would give you the Jenny Hendrix treatment if I could.  And if you were a chick.

Yeah, she's gotta be a real blonde.

Yes, it's a link to that rag of a newspaper:
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5363616.html

I know I have waxed poetic about the Oilers before, so I will mostly spare you of that.

I may have the blinders on, but I met these guys in groups more than once.  Culp, Bethea, Brazile, Barber, all awesome.  To a man.

I'll end with: Vernon Perry will go down in history as one of the Oilers most unlikeliest heroes.  I'll always remember that game against the Chargers.  Perry struggled - often - but for one game, he was an unstoppable force.

Dear Diary,

On Sunday, the Vince Youngs beat up on that Team-That-Didn't-Draft-Vince (you know I won't say their name) and won 28-20.  Vince was the best player on the field by far that day, as I said in my column (can you believe they pay me to write for a living!?), and as far as I was concerned, Vince was the only player on the field.

Oh Diary, Vince looked so marvelous in his tight uniform.  Of course, I didn't watch any of Vince's plays because you know I can't stand it when those big meanies hit my poor Vince.  That Mario-what's-his-name, who I will never, ever talk nicely about, sacked him 2 1/2 times (Diary, how does a player get half a sack?  Football can be so confusing!).  I think there should be a rule in football that no one should ever be allowed to hit my Vince.  Who do these people think they are, hitting the best player in football history so hard?  IT JUST MAKES ME SO ANGRY!

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mello, DO NOT READ below!

Well, it looks like Carr has already over-stayed his welcome in Carolina:
http://www.charlotte.com/panthers/story/378486.html

A random money-line (though there are many):

Said fullback Brad Hoover when a reporter asked him whether there was any confidence left in Carr in the Carolina locker room: "I don't know. That's a question that needs to be asked. Right now I'm so frustrated that I don't know how to answer you."

The reason I bring this up is THIS, right here, is why I am so optimistic about the Texans.  Sure, we struggled against Cleveland yesterday, but behind Carr, we have not stood a chance over the past couple of years.  Look at it this way: if it's easy for guys like Hoover to question Carr after just a couple of starts, just think about how mis-aligned our offense has felt since probably 2005.

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Ringolsby reporting:

"Second baseman Kazuo Matsui, meanwhile, appears headed to the Houston Astros. That could create an interesting possibility for the Rockies, who a year ago asked for Chris Burke in the Jason Jennings trade, but settled for Willy Taveras. If Matsui signs Houston would seem likely to move Burke, who could fit into the Rockies second base battle, although the feeling right now is Jayson Nix will get the first shot. Nix was MVP of the World Cup, which Team USA won on Sunday by beating Cuba."

Link: http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2007/nov/19/rockies-far-signing-torrealba/

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Welp, it looks like I tweaked poor widdle mcclain's ego with a comment today.  Have a look:

http://blogs.chron.com/nfl/2007/11/bush_fumbles_at_the_texans_1ya.html#comments

Oh yeah, insulting my name.  You know, that's the mark that you know football.  I mean, I don't trust any analyst until they can get a quality dig in like that.  Touche, mr. mcclain!

Here's my response, that will never be published:

"

When he played better, I praised him. Why, do you think anyone called bigfatdrunk would have any credibility?

Oh, ouch, what a zinger!  I'll never be able to leave my mommy's basement again.

Seriously, though, a back-handed compliment in your summary is not praise.  I'm not sure why both you and Justice continue to have this odd vendetta against Mario.  Even Andre Ware caught on quickly that Mario was having a dominant game.

However, because I don't write for a big newspaper (anymore, at least), and I have a silly name on the Internet, I don't have any credibility when talking about football at all.  Nope.

And y'all wonder why circulation numbers for newspapers are heading straight down?"

Makes me wonder if Tim's mom will let me move in...

Dear Mickey Loomis (Executive Vice President/General Manager, New Orleans Saints),

Allow me to be blunt: you should be fired over your selection of Reggie Bush over....well, anybody else.

After watching today's game against the Houston Juggernauts, it's woefully apparent that Bush is not capable of being a RB in the NFL.  After all, rushing 14 times for 23 yards (discounting the trash 11 yard gain when the holding penalty was declined) is an embarrassment to professional football.  I'm pretty sure any of the Texan cheerleaders could've put up similar numbers, and the players would actually enthusiastically tackle them.

And that Mario Williams' bitch is so incredibly super sucky should not be a surprise.  Most of us knew he wouldn't be a capable pro RB after watching him in college.

I apologize for being so harsh.  Colston has worked out well for you.  But taking a middling third down running back with a first round pick is inexcusable.  I'm sure you could've gotten Michael Turner the Burner and a 2nd rounder for that pick.

XOXOXOX,
Your BFF,
bigfatdrunk

KLUVYABYEBYE!

I love the Internet, and here's why:
http://www.houstontexans.com/cheerleaders/Cheerleader.asp?cheerleader_id=47

That's right: you, too, can be a perv from long-distance.

She's 19?  Seriously?  I'm old enough to be her father?  That almost makes me feel dirty.  Almost.

Randi?  Call me.  I'll take you to places that make PF Chang's look like dog food.  Oh, but do you mind if I bring Darcy along?

XOXOXOX,

bfd

If only he would've played in the first game.

http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2007/10/08/1010964-panthers-qb-delhomme-out-for-season

I guess the biggest question is, does he go with the white gloves, the black gloves, or the fire engine red gloves?
_______

"One-line diaries are prohibited on Battle Red Blog."

Man, that's more than one line, beetches.