Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Today's Game

For all the uncertainty surrounding it, the Texans and Chargers will in fact play futbol Americano this afternoon in San Diego.  And because they will, I will continue my asinine practice of making wholly inaccurate predictions about the game.  Without further ado, three (3) things that are almost sure to never happen in today's tilt:

1.  LaDainian Tomlinson is going to get his.  Norv Turner's staggering refusal to get him the ball, a strategy widely praised by opposing defenses, seems to be a thing of the past; LDT has rushed for 397 yards and five (5) TDs in his last three games (to say nothing of his 112 receiving yards).  And conceivably, he's well rested, coming off a bye week.  Given the Texans' schizophrenic  play against the run, all signs point to a big game from Tomlinson.  I don't think it'll be a awe-inspiring as what he dropped on Oakland, yet I fear that I'll break my television on his second TD run of the day.  Let's say...193 total yards for LDT, with 144 of them coming on the ground.
2.  Still no word as to who'll be under center for your Houston Texans, though The Schaub has declared himself ready to play.  Whoever is at QB is going to need a big game from Ahman Green, and I don't think he's going to get it.  Look for the running woes to continue as Green struggles to the tune of 53 yards rushing.
3.  After those two dire predictions, I need to figure out a Houston positive.  How about this--the receiving duo of Apostrophe Davis and Kevin Walter will account for 2 TDs against a Chargers secondary that's nowhere near as good as their front seven.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT:  I haven't been this pessimistic about a game all season.  Prior to their bye week, the Chargers were rounding into form after a terrible start.  In that sense, the bye week might've come at a bad time for them.  And they do still have Norv Turner as their head coach, which should give us all hope.  But I think Qualcomm is going to be rocking in a few hours, and the Chargers will be playing with a sense of purpose.  When you factor in how bad the Texans have looked in various facets of the game the last few weeks, it smells like the perfect storm for a lopsided game.  I'm going to peg it as Chargers 27, Texans 16.  As always, I hope I'm really, really wrong.