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Post-Game Breakdown: Miami v. Houston

"An ugly win is still a win."  

I'm pretty sure Popeye said that.  Or maybe it was Buddha.  Regardless, it's profound.  Not fun to watch by any means, but the good guys triumphed this afternoon at Reliant.  And if not for Kris Brown, it doesn't happen.  So raise your glass to the kicker this evening/tomorrow morning.  He's almost entirely the reason your Houston Texans are 3-2 instead of 2-3 and on a three-game losing streak.  K. Brown hit field goals from 20, 43, 54 (twice), and 57 (!) yards, all on a bad plant foot.  The last kick won the game with a mere second left, sending the denizens of Reliant Stadium home with a smile on their face.  After two consecutive weeks of heartbreak and/or incapacitating rage, you can't ask for anything more than that.  I wish I had more to say, but I don't.  It was ugly.  The Texans showed some real warts, a couple of which had been looming concerns before today.  Still...who cares?  Let's just celebrate the first 3-2 start in franchise history.

  1.  KRIS FREAKING BROWN NAILED A 57 YARD FG TO WIN THE GAME.  That bears repeating.  This morning, if you had asked me whether I'd see pigs fly or K. Brown hit a 57 yarder, I would have looked skyward, particularly after last week's abominable shank from 25 yards out.  Redemption, thy name is Chris.  With a "K."  Hold the "h."
  2.  If I'm leading with raves about the kicking game, you know it was a horrendous affair to witness.  While The Schaub was just six (6) yards shy of a 300 yard passing game, he looked out of sorts until the last drive, when he looked like Joe Montana and (suspend your biological disbelief for a moment) John Elway's love child.  Anyone who has any question as to whether The Schaub is the right guy to play QB for your Houston Texans should just watch that last drive.  He picked the Dolphins apart and absolutely strafed them across the middle of the field.  Everyone who has ever watched a football game knew where The Schaub was going, and he still did it.  That's QB play, my friends.
  3.  Owen Daniels--6 catches for 96 yards.  Kris Brown may have won this game, but Daniels (courtesy of The Schaub) may be the biggest reason the team was in a position to win.  On the final drive, Owen caught 2 passes for 33 yards.  HUGE.
  4.  Kevin Walter may never be a legit No. 2 WR.  But he was colossal this afternoon.  I haven't looked at how many times he was targeted, but have no doubt that The Schaub has a ton of faith in him.  He was looking for Walter all day.  Whether it was a result of matchups or not, Walter made a couple of big-time catches across the middle and at the sideline.  He stepped up when the team desperately needed him to.
  5.  The Fins were lucky that Apostrophe Davis only finished with four (4) catches.  He was beating his man all day, and that 49 yarder was a thing of beauty.
  6.  I knew the running game was in bad shape, but sweet molasses.  74 yards against a team that's giving up nearly 200 per game?  That's despicable.  What's more, the Texans came out firing through the air.  First three snaps were all passes.  For all of Kubes' preaching about establishing the run, it rang hollow today.  It was almost as if he realized that a one-two punch of Mediocre Dayne and Samkon Gado is roughly as effective as a combination of James Allen and Stacy Mack.  Silver lining--the Texans did manage to punch it in on 4th and 1 on one occasion in the first quarter.  Better than last week, right?
  7.  Get well soon, Ahman.
  8.  Seriously...I'll cook the chicken noodle soup.
  9.  Two (2) sacks given up by the OL, both to Jason Taylor.  Given the fact that The Schaub usually had ample time to go through his progressions, the line did a tremendous job in the pass-blocking department.  Run-blocking is a bit tougher to assess...did the line do a bad job creating space, or was the RB tandem simply incapable of breaking anything off?
  10.  Told you Super Mario would get a sack.  And it was a sight to see!  He basically brought Cleo Lemon down with a single arm while going the opposite direction.  That's strength, baby.
  11.  Why was Cleo Lemon in, those who didn't actually watch the game ask?  Because Trent Green was taken off on a stretcher after suffering a concussion.  Now, what I'm about to say may not be popular with Miami fans, and I don't mean to belittle the fact that Green lay motionless on the field for several minutes before he was taken off.  It was legitimately scary, and the fear that accompanies the sight of seeing anyone in that state is completely justified and palpable.
Regular readers of BRB know that I'm no fan of Travis Johnson.  I think taunting in any form is stupid and deserves an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty 99.9% of the time.  There's no denying that Tr. Johnson should not have been running his mouth as Trent Green laid on the ground.  It amazes me, however, that no one is the least bit critical of Green for chop blocking Johnson on the play.  After all, Green's concussion was undeniably a result of his head smacking into Johnson's knee as he went low to cut Johnson.  In that respect, Travis Johnson has every right to be pissed that someone lunged for his knees.  It can end a career.  By no means did Trent Green deserve a concussion, but Travis Johnson certainly did not deserve a low blow.
  1.  I can't believe that I just stuck up for Travis Johnson.  I don't even know who I am anymore.
  2.  This just in--Petey Faggins was respectable today.  I can't believe I just typed that.
  3.  Yeah, I was drinking.  But I swear I saw C.C. Brown intercept a pass and completely change the momentum of the game.  Must have been some good vodka.
  4.  As most Texans fans whose surname is not "Faggins" hoped, Fred Bennett got some playing time.  He looked a bit lost out there in limited action, but them's growing pains.  Hope he gets more time next week.
  5.  DeMeco had another eight (8) tackles.  Watching him play is what I imagine watching Jesus change water into wine would be like, only if Jesus did it every Sunday in full pads.
  6.  That last comment is going to cost me at least a dozen Hail Marys.  And no, I did not get that line from Liston.
  7.  I repeat:  Kris Brown kicked a 57 yard FG to win the game.
  8.  Fake Game Balls:  Offense--Owen Daniels.  Defense--C.C. Brown.  Special Teams--Kris Brown.
Let's all cross our fingers and hope the running game (read:  Ahman Green), Jacoby Jones, and/or Andre Johnson are all ready to go against Jacksonville on Sunday.  While recent history suggests we'll fare well against the Jags, you know that they're licking their chops at the thought of getting to take advantage of a depleted roster as we all chase Indy.