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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Sunday's Game

Like your Houston Texans, I too am refreshed after the bye week.  I'm going to put my terrible prediction record in the rearview mirror and predict my arse off down the stretch run for these next seven (7) weeks.  I'm going to take it one week at a time, of course.  Not going to lose focus.  Keep my eye on the prize.  Predict within myself.  Et cetera.  Et cetera.  Without further cliche, here are three (3) things I personally guarantee will happen at Reliant Stadium on Sunday when the Saints come marching in.  Better to get the whole "marching in" thing out of the way on Thursday.  No one wants to deal with that on the weekend.

  1.  As we all know, The Schaub and Andre Johnson make their triumphant returns on Sunday.  What should we expect from them?  Given the beleaguered state of the New Orleans secondary, I think we should expect quite a bit.  I'm going to call a pair of TD passes for The Schaub, one of which will be for twenty (20) or more yards to 'Dre.  'Dre will finish with six (6) catches for eighty-nine (89) yards.
  2.  How will the secondary fare in their first game without Dunta Robinson?  Uhhhhh...not good, I'm afraid.  All signs point to Drew Brees having a field day as the Texans experience some growing pains without their defensive leader.  I think Brees is going to tally somewhere in the neighborhood of 290 yards passing.  Although the Rams demonstrated that Brees can be flustered via the blitz, Houston fans know that the blitz simply isn't part of Richard Smith's playbook.  So, despite New Orleans' apparent problems in pass protection and the fact that their starting LT will not be 100%, look for Brees to strafe the Texans through the air.
  3.  Nationally, the vast majority of any attention this game will receive will strictly be a result of Super Mario versus The Guy The Texans Should Have Taken According To ESPN And Every Schmuck With An Opinion.  I look for Reggie Bush to account for a TD, likely on a short pass from Brees, but to be held to less than 65 yards on the ground.  Super Mario, meanwhile, will silence the naysayers, if only for a second, with a sack.  So it has been written; so it shall be done.
PUT YOUR NAME ON IT:  I've gone back and forth on this one.  At the beginning of the season, it looked like a surefire loss.  But these Saints have been inconsistent, and for whatever reason don't look as good as last year's edition.  After the first three (3) weeks of the season, the Texans looked like they should win this game.  But injuries and some questionable coaching decisions set in, and the hometown team is 2-5 after starting 2-0.  Then again, the Texans should experience a boost courtesy of the return of their franchise QB and No. 1 WR.  But Dunta is gone, and the already frightening secondary is even weaker then it was.  Still, Petey Faggins isn't starting, so that's a bonus, right?  And round and round we go.  I'll probably change my mind another fifty times before kickoff, but as I sit here today...New Orleans 27, Houston 28.

More Kool-Aid, please.