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BREAKING NEWS: Matt Schaub Has Torn MCL; Out At Least A Month, Maybe Rest Of Season?

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Oh, no. Nononononononononononono.

Damn you, Jared Allen. Damn you to hell. You've made at least a dozen powerful enemies today. I am now actively rooting for your demise.

Thus, the Rosencopter shall take to the skies again. I do not believe I could be more depressed about your Houston Texans than I am right now. More to follow, unfortunately.