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Three And Out: Special Super Bowl Edition

Even though I refuse to believe a game qualifies as "big" if it doesn't involve your Houston Texans, I hear the NFL is hosting a rather large exhibition on Sunday in Arizona.  I've read up a bit about the contestants, and it is with great joy that I present a very special edition of "Three And Out" here on BRB.  Without further ado, three (3) things that are sure to happen on Sunday evening.  Or not.  What am I--a psychic?  Anyway:

  1.  Wes Welker is going to OWN the middle of the field.  While I do think Randy Moss will be good for a big play against a depleted Giants secondary (that has, it should be noted, played admirably throughout the postseason) that will still be forced to roll coverage his way, Welker is going to shred the soft spot in the middle of the field at nine (9) yards a clip.  Pencil him in for something in the neighborhood of nine (9) catches for 92 yards.
  2.  Tom Brady won't repeat his three (3) INT performance of two (2) weeks ago, but he will turn the ball over once; I'm guessing a fumble as opposed to an interception, likely coming via a blind pop from someone on the New York front four.  For Brady's sake, he'd better hope he's not prone while Osi Umenyiora is in the vicinity.  Grass stains would be the least of his problems.
  3.  Although Plaxico Burress has gotten all the attention for making absurd predictions this week, I think that Amani Toomer is going to have a larger impact on the actual game.  And I don't know why, but I have a gut feeling that Steve Smith will have a TD grab.  While many of my gut feelings are usually the product of gas, I feel pretty good about this one.
PUT YOUR NAME ON IT:  Picking a winner for this game is extraordinarily tough for me because I despise both teams, albeit for different reasons.  With the Giants, I'm having a hard time reconciling my hatred for Eli Manning.  I've hated Eli since he pulled that draft day stunt in 2004 to force his way out of San Diego.  Hey, Eli--it's called a draft, not a "Pick-Where-You-Want-To-Play."  You pick where you want to play when you're a free agent, not when you're a draftee.  If everyone picked where they wanted to play, I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be a franchise in several cities.  Plus, c'mon...who doesn't want to live in San Diego?  It's freaking gorgeous!  I'm getting angry just thinking about this.

Also, you have to factor in Eli's penchant for spitting the bit when it counts.  Or at least you did, until his play this postseason.  But has he really turned the page?  Or is the clock simply ticking for him to crap the bed in historical fashion?

My beef with the Patriots isn't really centered on the team, though I would like to be left in a windowless room with a blindfolded Jabar Gaffney.  No, my beef is with New England "fans."  It seems like they've cornered the market on obnoxious bandwagoning.  They've become the Yankees fans of the NFL.  I truly want the Patriots to lose just so we don't have to listen to every Masshole on the eastern seaboard run his mouth about how dah Paytriets ah wicked ahhsome an' dah best team in the histahry o da unaverse.

Left with these two evils, what's a man to do?  He drinks heavily, takes the points, and dies a little inside every time Eli completes a pass or Jabar Gaffney is shown on camera, that's what he does.  There are no winners here.  Except the Patriots, by a score of 31-23.