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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Sunday's Game

Just in case you start thinking I don't know what I'm talking about, take a look at my sage words prior to last week's tussle. And by that I mean, "Read only the first part of the first prediction where I said Matt Schaub would throw for 291 yards." I was only nine (9) yards off. Nostradamus has nothing on me.

Enough tooting of my own horn. This week, I hereby declare the following three (3) things shall occur:

1. You thought you liked Kevin Walter last week. Wait 'til you see the 113 yard, 1 TD performance he lays on you this week. Bonus Prediction/Aside: I have Andre Johnson on my fantasy team. You have to start Andre Johnson every week on account of him being Andre Johnson, even when he's set to tangle with Nnamdi Asomugha. Scrabble will keep 'Dre's overall yards in check, but I predict a TD catch for 'Dre nonetheless.

2. Good news, distraught Texans fans. Your beloved squad shall tally not one, but TWO (!), sacks on Sunday. They will be courtesy of Mario Williams and DeMeco Ryans. Now for the bad news--the run defense will continue to make you want to remove your eyes with a wooden spoon. I said the Raiders would tally 160 yards and 2 TDs via the running game on the air, and I stand by that assertion.

3. Steve Slaton looked more like Steve Slaton last week, and I believe the trend will continue. 126 total yards (92 rushing/34 receiving) and his first TD of the year shall be reflected in the box score upon completion of Sunday's game.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Oakland's defense is (quietly) improved, and they're going to be able to run the ball. If they had a QB even approaching competent under center, I'd probably pick the upset. JaMarcus Russell? On the road? No, sir. Raiders 17, Texans 24.