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Post-Game Breakdown: Texans Pants Seahawks

Didn't know your Houston Texans had it in 'em. Predictable complaints about "taking the foot off the gas" in the second half aside, that was as one-sided a game as I've seen the Texans play since Week One. This experience was far more enjoyable, however, seeing as how this one unfolded with the Texans kicking the arse instead of being on the receiving end. If it wasn't the most dominating performance by the Texans in franchise history, it's at least in the discussion.

The burn, of course, is that the win puts the Texans at 6-7 and is therefore almost surely irrelevant in terms of postseason impact. Watching my team fire on all cylinders like that inevitably causes me to wonder, "Where has that been all season?" I don't have the answer to that question, and Gary Kubiak doesn't either. The inclination may well be to cite the opponent as the primary reason for the outcome, but Seattle had the same record the Texans did going into Sunday's game (though you'd never have known that in watching the game). I guess what I'm saying is that I have no idea why the Texans play the way they do when they do. That's probably the most infuriating thing about this team--the fact that you can never really feel good or bad about what they'll do on a given Sunday. Compared to the dog days of the Capers/Casserly Era, when you knew the Texans were being led to slaughter every week, that's a pretty profound improvement. On to the specifics:

1. If 10 out of the first 15 scripted plays each game had Andre Johnson as the first option, how many points would the Texans average a game? I'm going with 64, because...

2. Surely Kris Brown would miss 6 PATs. I don't know what has happened to the kicker we once dubbed "Mr. Automatic" (stop cackling, Pittsburgh fans). It's frightening. If the Texans were truly in the wild card mix, there would be kickers auditioning this week. If Smithiak doesn't bring in a kicker or two to compete with K. Brown in training camp, they're certifiable.

3. Matt Schaub has progressed to a point as the Texans' quarterback that I'm honestly surprised when he misses a WR. Well, the one interception each game notwithstanding, anyway. The Schaub is very, very good in this offense, and how he'd handle another scheme and/or head coach should be a sizable part of the decision-making process when it comes to Kubiak's future here.

4. Now that Steve Slaton's done for the season, the collective bargaining agreement mandates that another Houston RB start fumbling immediately. Ryan Moats is a company man.

5. Arian Foster: The New Wali Lundy? Foster's a bit bigger, yes. Still, it's going to take a handful of solid games before I jump on the bandwagon. The good news for Foster is that he should be given plenty of opportunities over the last three weeks to make a statement. Kubes knows what he has in Chris Brown and Moats, and neither is consistenly productive enough to warrant taking carries away from the unknown quantity when it's going to take several other teams completely falling apart for a realistic playoff scenario to materialize. Play the kid.

6. Zero sacks of Schaub by the Seahawks. That's particularly noteworthy in light of Schaub's physical condition. Kudos to the offensive line in that respect.

7. The Houston defense played its best game of the season. Seattle convered one out of fourteen (14!) third downs and only one out of five fourth downs. Wow.

8. DeMeco Ryans was all over the field. We take him for granted. Smithiak had better not.

9. Glover Quin is the best cornerback on the roster. He's a rookie, so that's exciting. He's also not stealing from Bob McNair, unlike a certain franchised corner, so that's solid too. I'm rather interested to see if the Texans try to transition Quin to free safety this offseason. I think he's got the chops for it, but the situation at corner is dire enough that I'm not sure you have the luxury of moving him right now.

10. Rumor has it that Mike Kerns got "Pollard Forever!" tattooed in his bikini zone immediately after the game. I'm impressed with what Bernard Pollard has brought to the table, too; I just think it's a bit early to start erecting shrines to the guy. As much as it appears he likes being here, Smithiak shouldn't be breaking the bank for the guy come March.

11. Mario Williams has not looked like Mario Williams all season, yet he's still likely to finish with double-digit sacks. When your bad years are that productive, you're doing something right.

12. If Brian Cushing isn't Defensive Rookie of the Year, there should be an investigation. I told you he'd be terrible awesome.

13. Fake Game Balls: Offense--Andre Johnson; Defense--DeMeco Ryans; Special Teams--Andre Davis.

Up to St. Louis for another winnable game against a team the Texans should handle with relative ease. Which probably means it'll be a nail-biter. Houston Texans Football: Flip That Coin!

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