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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Sunday's Game

Boy, was I psychic last week or what? Good thing accountability isn't a prerequisite in the prediction biz, or I might hold off on flapping my gums about three (3) things sure to happen when your Houston Texans tangle with Bud Adams' Army of Darkness on Sunday. Without further ado:

1. Super Mario stops the team's streak of "Games Without A Sack" at one when he brings Kerry Collins down early in the second quarter. Extra prediction, free of charge: Amobi Okoye also notches a sack.

No, I haven't been drinking. Why do you ask?

2. I'd love to make a prediction about Matt Schaub having a 300 yard day through the air, but I can't. One, because I don't know about that ankle and two, because I believe the Titans are going to have a much easier time bringing him down than they did Ben Roethlisberger. I will, however, predict that a returning Kevin Walter (or David Anderson, if K-Dub still can't go) has a big day as the Titans' defense concentrates on bottling up Andre Johnson (who will still catch a TD pass nonetheless). Walter or Anderson finishes with 7 catches for 76 yards.

3. Steve Slaton will not make it three (3) 100 yards rushing games in a row against the Titans. He will, however, finish with 89 total yards, 40 of which will be receiving. A rushing touchdown will be scored, but it's going to be by Chris Brown.

Nope, still not drinking. But that's a fair conclusion to draw.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Prior to the season starting, I figured the Texans would be 1-1 after Week Two. Based on what we saw against the Jets last week, I simply cannot stand by that prediction, much as I'd love to. Even though I have to call a loss (Texans 14, Titans 23), I do think we'll see a much different team than the frauds we saw at Reliant five days ago. If we don't? I'm stuffing my face at Manchu Wok in Terminal A and going Jimi Hendrix on the flight home.