FROM THE DESK OF: DR. RIVERS MCCOWN POSITION: JUNIOR WRITER, BATTLE RED BLOG

I sincerely write to seek your co-operation and trust to enable my colleagues and I to carry out urgent football analysis in my department.

I work with the SB Nation, currently I am the new junior writer of bills and exchange at the foreign remittance department of Battle Red Blog. I have an urgent and confidential business proposal for you. On January 9, 2010, an Australian oil consultant/contractor with via National Petroleum cooperation (NNPC) Mr. Tim Amaya made a numbered time (fixed) deposit for twelve calenderer month valued at US $51,000,000.00 (fifty-one million US Dollars) in my branch.  On maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarded address but got no reply.  After months we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employee (Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation) that Mr. Tim Amaya was too lazy to write all the time and wanted other people on the site to make it seem like the site was busy while he drank Coors.

On further investigation, it was clear that he went off and drank Coors without making a site will.  All attempts by the Australians to trace his next of kin were fruitless.  I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr. Tim Amaya did not declare any next of kin or relations in all his official documents including his
deposit document in my bank, except for a Big Fat Drunk, who when chased down was belligerent and unhelpful, and a Mr. Michael Kerns, who would not stop talking about Bernard Pollard.  The total sum US
$51,000,000.00 is still in my bank as dormant account.  No one will ever come forward to claim it.

According to SB Nation banking law, after five years, the money will revert to the ownership of BigBlueShoe if the account owner is certified dead and nobody comes forward to claim it.  Nobody wants that to happen.

This is the situation, and my proposal is that I am looking for several readers who will stand in as the beneficiary/next of kin.

This is simple. All you have to do is read my posts and pretend you like them by commenting often, then immediately send me the details of a bank account anywhere in the world for me to arrange the proper money transfer document. The money will then be transferred into the account for us to share in the ratio of 60% for me 30% for y’all while the remaining 10% will be set aside for expenses incurred. There is no risk involved. I am using my position and connection in the site here to do all the document work for the transaction.

We shall employ the services of an attorney (MDC) to draft the will and obtain all necessary documents and letter of administration in your favor for the transfer. This transaction is risk free guaranteed. If you are interested, I will send to you the text of the application that you will send to the Union Bank authority for an approval to submit your claims.  After at least 5 (five) comments, send your reply through my direct and private email address (rivers.mccown@gmail.com) or at my Twitter.  Previous examples of my trustworthiness can be found at From Mom’s Basement.  Indicate your direct fax and telephone numbers for effective communication that this transaction needs.

Do not reply through the SB Nation admin email address because it belongs to the senior staffs for public use.  Also do not email Tim or "Scott", as they have become quite consumed with their Coors at this
time.  Please note that you are not to appear in person, as everything regarding this project will be strictly on documentations and every banking document needed for this transaction will be taken care of by my self.

Looking forward to writing for you.

Yours Faithfully,

DR.RIVERS MCCOWN