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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Sunday's Game

The crystal ball was way off last week, with the only redeeming moment coming via that Kareem Jackson interception. I, like your Houston Texans, seek to right the ship after an abysmal performance. Will one or both of us manage to cast off the shackles of wretchedness? Only one way to find out. Hit the jump, and then let Fate take over.

That last sentence was in reference to my predictions, by the way. If the Texans just allow Fate take over on Sunday, I'm pretty sure that would yield a ruinous result. Fate would surely throw for 350 yards and 4 TDs on the Houston secondary.

1. Matt Schaub follows up last week's ghastly exhibition with a much better effort. Admittedly, I'm taking a leap of faith here, because Schaub looked as rattled and unsure of what he was doing as I've ever seen him last Sunday, and the Chiefs' 3-4 defense could be a recipe for disaster for the Houston offensive line. Nevertheless, the spirits believe in The Schaub. Schaub's final stat line: 20-28, 248 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT, 1 Fumble Lost.

2. Some quick stat calls from the netherworld for you:

Andre Johnson: 5 catches for 78 yards.
Arian Foster: 19 carries for 94 yards, 3 catches for 32 yards and 1 TD (my psychic reading could very well be clouded by a stubborn refusal to believe that Rick Dennison fails to see that screens should be a big part of this offense).
Owen Daniels: 4 catches for 41 yards.
Joel Dreessen: 2 catches for 23 yards and 1 TD.

3. Bernard Pollard, positively frothing at the opportunity to face his former employer, gets at least one (1) unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Not much of a prediction there, so here's another: DeMeco Ryans picks off Matt Cassel on a pass intended for Tony Moeaki. It's flukey, and it's Cassel's only turnover of the afternoon.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Really, after last week's epic disaster, it's difficult to fathom the Texans getting their act together and winning this week. Unless you put a ton of credence into Sage Rosenfels playing a role in last Sunday's happenings that won't be matched the following week, the Texans bouncing back precisely because that's the kind of consistently inconsistent team they are, and/or the Chiefs being just inexperienced enough to struggle on the road against a talented offense while having a passing game that falls just short of taking proper advantage of an alarmingly weak secondary. If that sounds like someone trying to talk himself into picking the Texans to win, that's because it is.

If the Houston Texans are to maintain course for the playoffs, they win this game. If they are not a playoff-caliber team, they lose, head into the bye week at .500, and the remaining schedule--daunting to begin with--becomes positively terrifying. I'm not ready to accept the latter yet. Chiefs 14, Texans 20.

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