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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Tonight's Game

The last time your Houston Texans tangled with the Indianapolis Colts, the Texans looked like world-beaters. It was the best and most complete effort of their 2010 season to date. Since that time, Houston fans have been on a roller coaster that hasn't featured the Texans resembling anything close to what we saw in Week One. Can the Texans catch lightning in a bottle twice in one season against the Colts? Or was it a one-time deal that Peyton Manning won't allow to happen again? One moron's predictions--sure to go terribly wrong, mind you--after the jump...

1. With Arian Foster's 231 rushing yards and 3 TDs in Week One still presumably haunting the dreams of every Indianapolis player, coach, and fan, you have to believe the Colts are going to focus their defensive game plan on stopping the run.  I'm also a bit concerned that Kubes and Rick Dennison may attempt to outsmart themselves in the name of keeping the Indianapolis defense off balance.  In other words, they're expecting us to run, so let's try to catch 'em off guard with the passing attack, especially early in the game.  Fortunately, the Texans have Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson, Kevin Walter, Jacoby Jones, and a watch-out-because-he-looks-like-he's-back Owen Daniels, so they should be able to move the ball through the air successfully, and I don't think we'll see a repeat of Week One's glorious, run-heavy offensive game plan.  Nevertheless, Foster still manages 90 rushing yards, 42 receiving yards, and 2 TDs.

2. Those other dudes? Schaub throws for 309 yards/3 TDs/1 INT. 'Dre hauls in 8 catches for 117 yards and a TD. K-Dub quietly posts 3 receptions for 32 yards. Jakespeare contributes 2 catches for 24 yards and one punt return of 25+ yards. Finally, in a game that has Texans fans remembering the pre-injury OD of '09, Owen Daniels tallies 6 catches for 82 yards and a TD.

3. Brian Cushing, in his first game replacing Cap'n 'Meco at MLB, does yeoman work. He even gets loose for a sack of Peyton. Mario Williams also notches a sack, and Antonio Smith adds a QB hurry that turns into a Bernard Pollard interception. Exciting, right?

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: You might read those three predictions and logically conclude that the ol' crystal ball foretells good things for the Texans tonight. Furthermore, if there ever was a time for the Texans to exorcise their demons and sweep the Colts for the first time in franchise history, a game that's going to force Peyton Manning to produce without Dallas Clark, Austin Collie, and Joseph Addai would certainly seem to present the most prime of opportunities. If the Texans had a secondary that we could optimistically label as something approaching mediocre, I'd pick them to win. But Peyton versus this secondary? Plus a weakened linebacking corps? At Indianapolis?  Can't do it. Texans 31, Colts 34.

Let your predictions fly in the Comments below.

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