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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Thursday Night Football

Back in April, when the 2010 Texans schedule was released, tonight's game was one that I immediately pegged/dreaded as a Houston loss. Playing in Philadelphia, at night, on a short week, in December, was enough to make me skeptical. And that was before Michael Vick was vaporizing the Eagles' opposition or the Houston defense was exposed as historically awful. While I'm not optimistic about tonight's tilt, I nevertheless present you with three (3) predictions that you should totally ignore because I have no idea what I'm talking about can take to the bank.

1. Try as I might to transform him by force of will, Michael Vick ain't Rusty Smith. Vick accounts for 3 TDs and 400 yards of offense tonight. It was nice to forget how bad the Houston defense was, even if it was only for a brief time. Reality returns tonight for the entire nation to see. Silver lining: The Texans' pass rush manages to get into the backfield somewhat regularly, but Vick steps up and away from the rush, escaping all but a single sack by Mario Williams.

2. With the defense being what it is, the only chance the Texans have is to control the clock and produce on almost every foray into Philadelphia territory. That means hefty doses of Arian Foster, Andre Johnson, and...Joel Dreessen. I pray believe Gary Kubiak and/or Rick Dennison will utilize the screen pass and quick hits to offset the Eagles' pressure, mixed with a steady diet of running Foster and a few shots down the field with 'Dre. I see Foster finishing with 150 total yards and a TD, 'Dre grabbing 6 receptions for 97 yards with a TD, and Dreessen quietly going for 4 catches, 49 yards, and a TD of his own.

3. Trent Cole is going to sack Matt Schaub on at least one occasion and hit him several more times. Rivers has opined that Duane Brown may find himself with child after tonight, and while I hold out hope it won't be left-tackle-grows-a-uterus-bad, the matchup certainly seems to favor Philly. The Texans will need to figure out a way to keep Vonta Leach out there on more passing plays, or chip Cole some other way.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: While I harbor fears of the Texans being on a receiving end of a beatdown tonight, I think they'll keep the final score within a single digit deficit. In a sick way, I may be giving the defense too much credit. Texans 21, Eagles 30.

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