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Don't think there's anything riding on Sunday's game against the Denver Broncos? Well think again, my people! The two teams are running neck and neck for the title of the worst pass defense since 1993 (by Football Outsiders' DVOA), making Sunday's game a sure-fire barn burner (however barn burner is being defined these days. I hate announcers.). Join me after the jump as we get dirty with numbers.
Oh, you made it. How nice. Feel free to slip into something more comfortable before we proceed. No no, we'll wait. Better? Great. Let's look at how badly we suck.
| Team | Year | Overall DVOA |
| DET | 2008 | 29.2% |
| DEN | 2008 | 24.7% |
| MIN | 2000 | 24.4% |
| STL | 2008 | 23.4% |
| MIN | 2004 | 23.0% |
Sadly, we've fallen out of the worst five by DVOA, thanks in large part to the first matchup against the BE-SFs. Rusty Smith is single-handedly saving us from further ignominy, which, frankly, makes me sad. Your JUGGERNAUT still clocks in at #7, one spot behind the 2010 Denver Broncos. When it comes to pass DVOA, we still have the power!
| Team | Year | Pass DVOA |
| DEN | 2010 | 42.1% |
| JUGGERNAUT | 2010 | 42.0% |
| DET | 2009 | 40.1% |
| JAX | 2009 | 39.8% |
| BAL | 1996 | 38.8% |
But oh no! We play the Broncos this week with our still strong passing offense, and we'll be facing Tim Tebow. On paper, it's a pretty clear mismatch in our favor to not suck. But we've pulled together before to show the 2010 Houston Texans' pass defense is the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked. Go us! After all, we improve opposing QBs by about 25% of their norm, and we're still allowing a 103 QB rating against. Remove the Rusty Smith debacle, and our QB rating against jumps to 108.2, which is ridiculously, MVP-level bad.
Finally this week's video tribute is a shout-out from me to Frank Bush, because what better says "utter and complete suck" like Journey or, even worse, a video from Journey.