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A New Feature About BRB's Favorite Wordsmith

If we know anything about Jakespeare (a/k/a Jacoby Jones), it is that he is an erudite man of letters.  He transcends preconceived notions of grammar, syntax, and punctuation, and, in so doing, he creates something new that almost defies description.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but JJ's works read like someone found a dog who could speak fluent Farsi and made that dog write solely in English. 

To celebrate the awesomeness that is JJ, we're launching a new feature --- Jakespeare's Fuh Real Tweet O' Da Last Few Days Dat Make U Say "LMAO Dog!"  The concept is simple enough that I assume it needs no explanation.  So, with no further ado, let's light this candle.


To quote a slightly-less-famous poet, "brevity is the soul of wit."  But in the world of Twitter's Draconian character limits, brevity is the name of the game1; you have to do something other than be succinct if you want to stand out.  JJ realizes this and goes next level with a Tweet that manages in only two words to both inform us --- he apparently has a platter of something and is very thrilled about it --- and raise some questions --- a platter of what?  Where does one get a platter of anything at 3:26 on a Sunday morning? Is that what it sounds like when Lil' Jon orders dinner?

Even JJ's punctuation, which abides by a set of Jakespearean rules that you could not possibly comprehend, adds to the brilliance. Three-dot ellipses? Please, those are for amateurs. JJ uses FIVE periods and creates an added sense of drama. The reader knows JJ has a platter and the extra two periods make you wait that much longer before you find out whether he likes it. Sheer, unadulterated genius.

Even better, you can use this Tweet in your daily life whenever something pleases you.  For instance, BFD might say "Fleshlight .....yyyyyeeeaaa!!!" the next time he's home alone.  Or Kerns could yell "Fourteen .....yyyyyeeeaaa!!!" when asked how many blogs he writes for.  The possibilities are truly endless.

1 Which explains why Twitter and I have never really become close friends.