Jonathan Wells Memorial League: A Primer, A Guide, A Plea

The Jonathan Wells Memorial League is the official fantasy league of BRB. What this means is that a) the standings should be up on the sidebar somewhere for handy bragging rights and such, and that b) I'll be making a post about the results and such every week.


You drafted Drew Brees in the first round. That's a great pick. In any other league.

You see, we here at the Jonathan Wells Memorial League believe that anybody can pick good fantasy football players. We are looking for the exact opposite. The players who hang on to their jobs despite ineptitude, mediocrity, and downright blandness. The Jeff Francoeurs of football.

Named for Jonathan Wells, the Texans running back in their inaugural year of 2002, the league is founded on the concept that you want bad players. Not just bad players, but players that are bad and that play. Like Wells did for those woefully undermanned expansion Texans.

As such, the scoring system favors badness, but long-term badness matters. QB's are penalized if they don't accrue 10 passing attempts in a game, and RB's are if they accrue less than 8 rushes. WR's and TE's both suffer if they don't catch at least 2 balls. Touchdowns are frowned upon. Interceptions and fumbles are given a big thumbs up.

Up until say, 150 yards, your quarterback will earn points for every yard he gains. Putting extra emphasis on the idea that you want to start somebody who actually plays. But if it goes over, the points start decreasing, and then they start really decreasing, and if you happen to hit 300 yards, well, you're docked 10 points. The same thing happens at the other positions.

Essentially, you aim for the worst of the people who still get to play.


The entire league is run on, who has paid for and furnished the league as a gift for our sponsorship posts.

Teams are currently claimed by myself, DisplacedTexan, AllenOU, killtacular, Jordann, and a friend of mine who wanted in.

Open spots are currently held by worstfan, bigfatdrunk, nolander, turnip73, chrisd21, and Taco Joe. However, they haven't signed in and edited their team information, or even accepted the invitations in some cases. Ergo, I will give them until Monday night to do that. Should said people fail to come through, they shall receive a booting from the prime minister of Australia, and their spots in the league will be open.

All you, potential owner of a team of bad players, need to do to play is register at their site and send me an email: rivers (dot) mccown (at) I'll take the first six emails, with anyone after that being a backup in case someone doesn't come through. I'll send you an invitation, you accept it, and we can fill the league.

The draft is only nine days away. Next Sunday at 1 PM CT. I'd really like to avoid the typical scramble to fill spots. So please, lets get going on this so we can have a league that we're proud to be associated with. A league full of bums.

And some mediocre football players too.

(If this could be rec'd to sticky for the next week or so that would be greeeeeaaaat.)