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Your Cuddly, Witty, Arian-loving, Pickle and Internet Cake Post Game Thread

Arian Foster led the league in rushing, bows, and loving adoration from fans.
Arian Foster led the league in rushing, bows, and loving adoration from fans.

Placeholder.  You people can start typing stuff now.

Let's be honest: Gary Kubiak was in a no-win situation today.  Lose, and there'll be unfounded claims that the team quit on him.  Win, and our schedule and draft picks get just a little worse.

Kubiak won, and the team played its wee little heart out.  Before we hold hands and jump together, let me say something grunge_dave texts at least 46 times every game: Kubiak doesn't deserve Arian Foster.


And it's difficult to argue that point.  Foster was absolutely a monster yet again today, finishing with 190 total yards, 180 of which on the ground to lead the NFL, 2 TDs, four haikus, he performed successful CPR on a heart attack victim, and finished his afternoon by making fresh, individual coconut cream pies for every person left in the stands at the end of the game (from the looks of it, he didn't have to make many.  I guess fans were disappointed Kubiak wasn't drawn and quartered at the end of the game).

The rest of the offense, especially Matt Schaub, Jacoby Jones, and the Derrick Ward Glacier Experience, pitched in another 317 yards as we dumped nearly 500 yards on the Jaguars defense.  The Texans defense, led by...hold on...Troy NolanEugene WilsonAmobi Okoye?...wait a minute, this can't be can those guys lead anything?  Nolan had a pick, sack, and a fumble recovery, Wilson pitched in 6 tackles, and Timobi McKoye added another sack as we "held" the Jaguars to only 322 total yards.  Of course, Trent Edwards David Garrard and Maurice Jones-Drew were out, so there's a reason the Texans didn't embarrass themselves too badly.

This game was an outlier for this season.  We jumped out to an early lead, managed to keep it together fairly well, then polished off the Jaguars like I am this beer.  For a team that's had all the closing skills of Mitch Williams, it was an oddly impressive victory.

And not once, not a single time, did I see a Texans player mail it in.  Say what you will about Kubiak, criticize his performance, but this team continued to play for him.

With a h/t to zala, the Texans appear to, currently, have the 11th pick in the draft.  And oh my, there are some serious holes to plug (TWSS?).  For now, however, let us bask in the warm glowing warming glow of this victory as it's been quite a while since the bleach has stayed under the sink.  You know we here at BRB will be ready to question every move, deliberate each and every draft pick, and cry uncontrollably during what will be another long off-season for your Houston JUGGERNAUT.

For now, WE DANCE!