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What If The AFC South Were Beers?

I could really go for an Andre about now.
I could really go for an Andre about now.

I love beer. 

In fact, I think if I were to list the things I love in this world, the top three would be family, beer, and getting caught in the rain football.  We won't discuss the order, because I don't want to upset the family, beer, or football.

The combination of beer and football is obviously a beautiful thing but sometimes it could be better intertwined.  So I present you the beer equivalent of various members of the AFC South.

I apologize in advance for the lack of Shiner in here, but to be honest, it's not available much where I live, so I'm not as familiar as I would like to be.  With that in mind, I tried to keep this to brews that are available nationally -- at least I think they are. 


Andre Johnson Guinness Guinness_medium
Arguing its greatness is just dumb.
Matt Schaub Red Hook ESB Red_hook_medium
Not the flashiest or "best", but good and better than most alternatives.
Chris Johnson Heineken Heineken_medium
Ov-Er-Ated clap clap clap-clap-clap.
Kareem Jackson Pabst Blue Ribbon Pbr_medium
It was good in college.
Maurice Jones-Drew Delerium Tremens Dt_medium
Not a fan of the label, but secretly I kind of like it.
Johnathan Joseph Sam Adams Boston Lager Sam_adams_medium
Quality, and it's all over the place.
Peyton Manning Billy Beer Billy_medium
Out of production.
Mario Williams He'Brew Jewbilation 14 Hebrew_medium
Not always available, but man, it'll mess you up.
Blaine Gabbert Purple Haze Purple_haze_medium
Funny name and kind of fruity.
Matt Hasselbeck Budweiser Bud_medium
Just because you've been around a long time doesn't make you good.
Arian Foster Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA Dogfish_head_medium
Always a solid and excellent performer. 
Cortland Innegan Killian's Irish Red Killians_medium
Sounds Irish but really isn't.  Can't stand up to Guinness.
Curtis Painter Corona Corona_medium
Let's be honest, nothing that blonde can be good.
James Casey St. Bernardus Abt 12 St_bernardus_medium
Awesome and should really get more recognition.
Bud Adams Recycled Schlitz Light Toilet_medium
Is this generous?