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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Browns

No time for a clever introduction this week. Let's just all agree that my oh-so-close prediction of the final score last week is undeniable proof that I am a gifted psychic and quite possibly the greatest person ever to set foot on this earth. By clicking on the jump, you are agreeing with the preceding statement. If you don't agree with the preceding statement, you should still hit the jump, if only for me to blow your mind with the accuracy of this week's predictions, leaving you with no choice but to conclude that I am in fact the most devastatingly accurate seer since Marshall Applewhite.

1. In what's a sort of homecoming for him, Colt McCoy will find Reliant Stadium to be less than welcoming. He's going to throw a pick to Jason Allen, and he's going to fumble (which will be recovered by J.J. Watt). Alex Mack and Joe Thomas are excellent offensive linemen, but they alone will not be able to keep their QB from getting harassed by Wade Phillips' charges all afternoon. While Colt will throw a first half TD pass, he's also going to get hit a lot. Connor Barwin and Brooks Reed will each register sacks on Sunday, and Antonio Smith will get flagged for hitting Colt late.

2. With Andre Johnson out for another game, everyone in the world knows the Texans are going to lean on Arian Foster again. This week, however, will not see Arian getting 30+ carries again. Ben Tate will spell Foster more than he did last week; pencil Tate in for 12 carries, 64 yards, and a TD. Arian will find the end zone once en route to a final stat line that sees him finish with 23 carries, 101 rushing yards, 4 receptions, and 31 receiving yards.

3. Fun fact: Since he became a starter in the NFL, Matt Schaub has never gone four games in a row without throwing an interception. Will he set a personal record on Sunday? No. Joe Haden will pick The Schaub off. Schaub will throw a TD to Joel Dreessen to offset his interception on his way to a 18-29/227 yard afternoon.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: This game feels weird to me. A Texans blowout win would not surprise me at all, but I don't see it happening. For some reason, I'm envisioning the Browns putting together a solid first half, complete with the aforementioned Colt McCoy TD and a field goal. While your Houston Texans will lead at half, it won't be by much. The Texans will take control of the game in the second half to pull away, but a Josh Cribbs special teams touchdown will make things slightly closer than they should be. Still, when the clock runs out, the Texans will find themselves with another double-digit victory. Texans 28, Browns 17.

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