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Gillette ProGlide Top 5 Defensive Plays: Week 16

Pictured: Jerome Boger sucking at his job.
Pictured: Jerome Boger sucking at his job.

The fine folks at Gillette --- makers of the incomparable Fusion ProGlide Power, which leaves your face as smooth as an Arian Foster cutback --- have sponsored a new series of posts that will run through the end of the regular season. The concept is simple: I pick what I think were the five most important defensive plays from the previous game, and you vote for the play that you think was the bestdiddlyestest. (If that explanation is not clear enough, see this post for an example.)

This week's selection comes from a game that featured officiating that even Bill Leavy would have found ridiculous. (Seriously, Jerome Boger, I hope all the bad things in life happen to you and nobody else but you.) For that reason, I'm making the executive decision to include plays that were negated because of farcical penalties.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go home and put some water in Dan Orlovsky's mama's dish.

1. Brian Cushing's sack-fumble. First play of the game, Cushing gets to Orlovsky on a blitz, gets the sack, and knocks the ball loose. Brooks Reed recovers the fumble at the IND 17, and Arian Foster glides into the end zone two plays later to put the Texans up 7-0.

2. Connor Barwin's sack. First quarter, Texans still leading 7-0, and the Colts facing 3rd & 6 at the HOU 32. Barwin sacks Orlovsky for a loss of 7, knocking the Colts out of field goal range and forcing a punt.

3. J.J. Watt's sack. Second quarter, Texans leading 10-3, Colts looking at 3rd & 5 from the IND 31. Watt gets a clean sack on Orlovsky that should have made it 4th & 13, but, because Jerome Boger is a ridiculous person who has no business officiating NFL games, he "determined" that Watt had made helmet-to-helmet contact with DanO and threw a flag. Fifteen yards, automatic first down. (A.J. Burge dissects the stupidity here.)

4. Glover Quin's coverage on Austin Collie. Honestly, I'm just including this one because I'm bitter. Second quarter, 2nd & 8 at the HST 37. Quin is trailing Collie across the field to the deep left sideline. The ball is poorly thrown, and contact is made when Collie reaches back to try to catch a ball that hit Quin in the leg. Flag thrown for pass interference on Quin. Expletives unleashed that made the people I was watching the game with question why we were even friends.

5. Kareem Jackson's failed coverage on Reggie Wayne. Fourth Quarter, Texans leading 16-12. Colts at their own 46 on 3rd & 7. Orlovsky hits Wayne up the left side for 34 yards down to the Houston 20. Why include this in the list? Because it SHOULD HAVE clued Reggie Herring in on the fact that Kareem Jackson could not stop Reggie Wayne, which, you know, might have prevented Jackson being on Wayne 7 plays later when the Colts scored the go-ahead TD. Alas.