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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Saints

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Remember that time I said Reggie Bush would score a touchdown?

Yeah, me neither. On to this week's edition of "Three And Out," or as it's known in Spain, "Basura Totalmente Falsa y Irresponsable," which I'm pretty sure is a tremendous compliment. Hit the jump, won't you?

These things will happen at the Superdome on Sunday. I promise (Ed. Note: No, I don't).

1. Ben Tate has the first sub-100 yard rushing game of his professional career. While the crystal ball does not reveal if Arian Foster will play on Sunday, it does indicate that Tate will get the majority of the snaps. The transparent future-telling device also portends that Tate finishes with 19 carries for 89 yards and no TDs.

2. Matt Schaub will turn the ball over twice--one interception and one fumble. I fear Schaub will get hit quite a bit, with a returning Will Smith leading the charge. The Schaub will, however, throw for 3 TDs. One of those TDs will be for 40+ yards to Andre Johnson. Another will be to James Casey in the red zone. And the final TD will be to...wait for it...wait for it...Joel Dreessen. In the fourth quarter.

This game will remind us how exciting the Texans' passing game can be when it really gets going. The passing attack really hasn't gone nuts the first two weeks of the season, but it will have to do so this week. I expect Schaub to throw the ball 35 times on Sunday.

3. Drew Brees is going to get his, but he is going to get pressured throughout the afternoon. Brees will be sacked three times (Mario Williams, J.J. Watt, and Antonio Smith will do the honors), and he'll throw one interception via a deflected pass that's pulled in by Danieal Manning. The Saints' running attack will flourish, with Mark Ingram being the biggest problem for the Texans. I also foresee a Darren Sproles screen taken to the house.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: I've had this game pegged as a loss since the schedule came out, and as much as I'd love to change that prediction, I can't bring myself to do it. If there is such a thing as a good loss, this will be it. I think we'll feel better about where the Texans are and where they're going after Sunday's game, as they'll show they can compete with one of the NFL's best teams in a hostile environment. Texans 24, Saints 28.

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