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It All Comes Down To Monday Night('s Open Thread): Panthers v. Eagles

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You know that old saw about an irresistible force meeting an immovable object? This game is the opposite of that.

Completely out of give-a-f#ck.
Completely out of give-a-f#ck.
Streeter Lecka

The term "dumpster fire" is overused these days.

That said, if you were going to apply that label to one game this week, it would have been the Titans and Jags. POINT AND LAUGH AT THE MCM THREADS HERE AND HERE AND HERE! Because Schadenfreude is the bestestfreude.

If you were going to apply it to two games this week, however, tonight's MNF tilt would have been on the short list for the second game (along with Bengals-Raiders and Chaz Batch-Browns, I suppose).

I think I was supposed to sell you on watching this game. So, um ... well ...

OH, I know! Let's create a drinking game!

Take one drink every time...

Jon Gruden starts a sentence with "This guy, [player's name]...."
Mike Tirico mentions the end of the Packers-Seahawks MNF game.
Gruden inexplicably grunts while speaking.

Take two drinks every time...

Gruden talks about Cam Newton's attitude.
Either announcer references Andy Reid's future with the Eagles.
Tirico mentions the amount of money tied up in the Panthers' rushing offense.
Cam Newton's body language suggests he and Jay Cutler are friends.

Take three drinks every time...

Andy Reid screws up basic clock management.
You find yourself trying to remember the names of the Panthers' front seven.
Steve Smith appears on the verge of beating a teammate to death.
DeSean Jackson does something lazy.
Cam Newton does the Superman thing while his team is trailing.

Chug your drink every time...

ESPN lists players taken after Cam Newton last year. (Chug a second drink if they specifically mention J.J. Watt in the context of the Panthers' terrible defense.)
Steve Smith actually beats a teammate to death.