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The Rich, Toothless Tapestry That Was Bryan Braman's Offseason

If you don't have any teeth to knock out, a helmet becomes less necessary.
If you don't have any teeth to knock out, a helmet becomes less necessary.

Hangbok said this story was worth a post, and after reading it, I must fervently agree. Nick Scurfield provides us with an update on how everyone's favorite hallucinogen-manufacturing, model-turned-bouncer-turned Houston Texan is doing these days. We don't know if Bryan Braman will bring the dreadlocks back, but we do know that, despite generations of family history (one grandfather was apparently Andre The Giant), Braman now has some functioning teeth.

“It was quite a bit of work with the cavities,” Braman said. “The surgeries were to get caps, implants and stuff – that way I’ve got some teeth to chew with.

“My whole family’s kind of toothless. My dad, he doesn’t have no tooth. My grandpa, he didn’t have any teeth by the time he was about 30. All my uncles, they don’t have any teeth. It’s weird. I want to say it’s genetic, but I guess I could’ve prevented it with a little bit of better tooth care and upkeep with the dentist and stuff. But yeah, we’re a pretty toothless family.”

Bizarre? Perhaps. Awesome? Undoubtedly. And Braman's not resting on his laurels now that he has an improved dental lot. He's made strides as a linebacker, too.

“He’s getting better every day,” Texans linebackers coach Reggie Herring said at the end of OTAs. “His work habits have improved, as goes with the maturity of growing as a football player. His pass rush skills are getting better and stronger, more explosive, because he’s gained weight now, which is a needed must for him as far as his overall development. He’s really a very talented, young, developmental player that has a chance to build on what he did last year special teams-wise and work his way into a position to giving us solid depth along with some pass rush skills in the sub package on third down.

“We’ve been very pleased to date. It’s all ahead of him. He has great growth potential physically and athletically, and as a player development, the sky’s the limit.”

You may now all commence with your paeans to Bryan Braman in the Comments.