Three Texans Rookies, One Cigar: Caught Chiefing

There's only one Willie Jefferson who has ever shared a cigar with another person, and his last name was Clinton. Someone please tell the agent talking about potentially filing a grievance against the Houston Texans for cutting his client that a "he didn't inhale" defense would have been far more believable than what is currently being pitched. No one is buying the notion that a professional athlete with a healthy income would willingly put the tip of another man's saliva-drenched cigar in his mouth. Che Guevara probably wouldn't have even done that during the darkest hours of the Cuban Revolution. In fact, if Che were around today, and you told him the story of what happened to Jefferson, Sam Montgomery and Cierre Wood last weekend, he'd probably take off his beret, scratch his head and ask, ¿Por qué fumaron un blunt en el hotel?

What about a vaporizer or something? Why choose the one method of smoking weed that will absolutely ensure that the entire hallway of your team hotel will reek? Not to mention your clothes and your room, and the fact that Chiefing a Swisher Sweet will turn your eyes Arrowhead red. Let's not even address the question of whether someone carried on the team plane or if they picked up in KC. You're in the NFL; you can afford to get stoned in more discreet methods. Smoking a blunt in that situation is something a high school football player would do. This whole episode is more letter jacket than the letter jacket game.

You had #onejob, Sam. And that was to pick up the Bounce sheets. You couldn't even do that. Now, you have no jobs, and the Texans fans who are defending you with straw man arguments about how other rookies have also showed up to training camp out of shape in the past can go back to watching LSU games.

Who would have thought that the Honey Badger would be a safer pick in the third round than Sonic Sam?

Don't think I've forgotten about you, Cierre. We could have used you against Kansas City, a game where the entire world knew that we would need to rely on the running game more than ever before. And sure enough, Arian Foster goes down in the first quarter, Ben Tate breaks four ribs, and we're handing the ball off to Greg Jones to disastrous results. That just put more pressure on a third string quarterback suiting up for his first ever NFL game to puff, puff, pass.

Part of it is bad luck. Blame the scheduling gods, because this wouldn't have happened had we been playing on the road against the other AFC West team that was 6-0 entering Week 7. Denver is the kind of place where Willie, Sam and Cierre could have just walked outside and asked a traffic cop for a light. No one would have bothered them. No one would have known. And we wouldn't be down three players in a season that is looking all but lost.

But hey, that's just the reality of the NFL.

At the end of the day its buisness. Pure buisness.

— ☆FLY.41.SOC ☆[SBSB] (@stadium20status) October 21, 2013

One day, you're on top. The next, you're bumming for a Hulu log in.

Who has a hulu account

— Willie Jefferson (@Stmn_Willie_Bmn) October 21, 2013

@aniyah2105 yep

— Willie Jefferson (@Stmn_Willie_Bmn) October 21, 2013

One job, Sam. One. Job.