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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Jaguars

With all that's happened to the Houston Texans, can I really predict them to beat the Jacksonville Jaguars in Houston on Sunday? My head says no. My heart says I should drink more. See how that dynamic played out in this week's edition of "Three And Out."

Great coverage, Brice.  Frank Bush may be gone but his "seven yard cushion from the three yard line" strategy lives on.
Great coverage, Brice. Frank Bush may be gone but his "seven yard cushion from the three yard line" strategy lives on.
Thomas B. Shea

Last week in this space, I wrote:

Some teams just don't know how to win. The 2013 Houston Texans are one of those teams.

I followed up that profound statement with a tidy dismissal about how I couldn't pick Matt McGloin, an undrafted rookie making his first professional start (on the road, no less), to beat the Houston Texans. In other words, I started out somewhat smart, then I drank some paint thinner, and then I returned to my naturally dumb state. No more. I will not pick the Texans to win another game this year.

Even against the 2-8 1-9 Jacksonville Jaguars? In Houston? Well, maybe not. I mean, it's the Jaguars. They are universally considered to be one of the worst teams in the league. How could I pick them to beat the Texans?

I'm doing it again. Let's just move on to three things that are sure to happen at Reliant Stadium on Sunday.

1. Chad Henne will throw for at least 275 yards and at least two TDs. Aside from J.J. Watt, the Texans' pass rush is impotent. Pressure from the edge? What's that? Whitney Mercilus and Brooks Reed have yet to demonstrate an ability to get to the quarterback. Moreover, the Houston secondary on Sunday will prominently feature Brice McCain and Brandon Harris, which calls to mind the days that Frank Bush thought Eugene Wilson should be starting for a team in the NFL. It's going to be ugly. Yes, even against the Jaguars.

2. Andre Johnson explodes for 130 receiving yards and two TDs. It's been a bad week for 'Dre. I expect Gary Kubiak will attempt to smooth things over with lots of deep throws to him from QBs not named Matt Schaub. 'Dre will respond as 'Dre does.

3. Special teams weren't completely putrid last week against the Raiders. Time for the universe to balance itself out and return things to their natural state Jacksonville will score a special teams touchdown. I'm feeling it'll be on a punt return, but nothing--blocked punt, 108 yard kickoff return, a Keshawn Martin fumble,etc.--will surprise me. All the while, Joe Marciano will remain gainfully employed.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Have the Texans really sunk so low that I would pick the Jaguars to beat them at Reliant? Yes. Yes, they have. Jaguars 24, Texans 20.

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