Battle Red Blazin' Hot NFL Picks: Week 13 - Thanks For Nothing, Texans

Howdy, y'all. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to thank you guys for taking the time for taking times out of your lives to read the ramblings and sentence fragments that I offer up to you every week. Your readership, feedback, and recs are highly appreciated. I've... had... the time of li-ife writing for you guys.

For the three of you that might have noticed I haven't posted this week, I've been on "vacationing" in sunny Detroit, MI since Sunday. I boarded the plane to at Bush Intercontinental right before the Texans kicked off against the Jaguars, and I wouldn't land until the game was already over. Sounds like I didn't miss much, huh? I haven't even taken a look at the film this week, and I don't think I'm going to. Destiny dictated that I missed that game because of my flight, and I'm thinking it was for a reason.

Just because I'm on vacation, it doesn't mean I'm not gonna drop my weekly truth bombs on your heads. I took a break from sunbathing on Detroit's rocky, unforgiving riverfront to quasi-randomly make my choices this week. Seriously, it hasn't risen above 25 degrees up here all week, and it's windier than bfd after his third cabbage roll.

MY BODY WAS NOT READY... I caught a nasty cold within hours of arrival. I've discovered that I'm wholly dependent on Houston's smothering humidity for my general well-being. Go figure.

Anyway, here's the updated Top 10 through Week 12. My abysmal picks last week triggered as my new dropped slot, so I actually gained a spot. Eggshellman reigns supreme for another week. Keep it up, bro-chachos.

Green Bay Packers @ Detroit Lions (-6)

Oakland Raiders @ Dallas Cowboys (-9.5)

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Baltimore Ravens (-2.5)

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Cleveland Browns (-7)

Indianapolis Colts @ Tennessee Titans (+4.5)

Upset special!

The Colts are playing so, so bad on both sides of the ball that even the Titans will prove to be a challenge. Am I alone in hoping for an epic Indy collapse, even if it means Tennessee wins the division?

Chicago Bears @ MInnesota Vikings (-1)

Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets (-2)

Arizona Cardinals @ Philadelphia Eagles (-3)

Carson Palmer should continue his streak of excellent passing against a soft Philly D, and the defense should do the rest. Would love to see Arizona steal a wildcard berth.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Carolina Panthers (-8.5)

New England Patriots @ Houston Texans (+7.5)

How many consecutive 'haha' should I copy / paste into this space in order to accurately portray how little confidence I have in this team?

Atlanta Falcons @ Buffalo Bills (-3)

St. Louis Rams @ San Francisco 49ers (+8.5)

Denver Broncos @ Kansas City Chiefs (-4.5)

Cincinnati Bengals @ San Diego Chargers (-1)

New York Giants @ Washington Redskins (+1.5)

New Orleans Saints @ Seattle Seahawks (-5)

I want to pick the Saints, but they've shown to be a very different team on the road... especially outside, northern environments.

That'll do, pig, for this week. Let's hear your picks in the comments and enjoy your Thanksgiving!