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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Cardinals

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This predictions schtick ain't working too well for me or the 2-6 Houston Texans. Time to change the vibe for this week's crystal ball edition of Texans-Cardinals.

"C'mon, let me see you read this post."
"C'mon, let me see you read this post."
Thomas Campbell-USA TODAY Sports

After starting 2-0, your Houston Texans enter their Week 10 matchup with the Arizona Cardinals on a six game losing streak. What they're doing isn't working. They need to shake things up.

Or maybe what I'm doing with "Three And Out" isn't working. Maybe I need to shake things up.

Yeah, I need to shake things up. Like this:

Three things sure to happen on Sunday afternoon (note the late start at 3:25 p.m. CST if you haven't already) when the Texans play the Cardinals in Arizona...

1. Case Keenum throws for 2 TDs. He also throws his first interception. For all the (deserved) complaints about Gary Kubiak's conservatism, I fear Rick Dennison is going to play it even closer to the vest, much like he did in the second half of the Colts game last Sunday night. The deep shots down the field will be in short supply this week.

2. Randy Bullock connects on one of his two field goal attempts. This will infuriate those of us who remain astonished that Bullock has not been cut. To further pour gasoline on the raging dumpster fire that is the Texans' special teams, I also foresee a fumble by Keshawn Martin and a punt return touchdown by the Cardinals. And yet there is not a doubt in my mind that Joe Marciano will still be the Texans' special teams coach in Week Eleven.

3. J.J. Watt reminds anyone who may have forgotten that he is J.J. FREAKING WATT. Two sacks, two more tackles for loss, and one pass deflected that leads to an interception. Speaking of interceptions, Carson Palmer is going to throw two of 'em. The Texans will win the turnover battle.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: I don't think the Cardinals are a particularly good team, and I do believe there's a decent chance the Texans have their own "WIN ONE FOR KUBES!" moment in the desert. Decent, but not probable. This team has simply shown no ability to play a complete game and/or to close opponents out. Texans 17, Cardinals 23.

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