Our friends at Applebee's have asked us to craft a post based around the idea that the head coach of your Houston Texans, one Gary Kubiak, is a chef. Chef Kubes is charged with adding ingredients to the mix that is the 2013 Houston Texans, and we're to discuss whether what he's done over the last month or so has worked.
The Texans have not won a game since September 15, 2013. I believe it's safe to say that Chef Kubiak has poisoned all of us, leaving the fan base splayed out on the floor in front of the toilet and moaning. Why, Gary? Why?
While it's clear that we're all worse for wear having eaten Chef Kubes' cooking this year, what exactly was it that left us in such a horrible state? What ingredients are to blame for the disastrous state we now find ourselves in?
First off, I believe Gary went too heavy on the Matt Schaub. We didn't need four pick-sixes worth of that to know it was a bad idea. And don't get me started on Kubes' decision to forego a right tackle or a pass rush; nothing is going to taste right without healthy dashes of those in the recipe. Sure, some of the shortcomings aren't his fault; I don't blame Gary for the lack of Brian Cushing, Arian Foster, and Danieal Manning. But that doesn't excuse his (or Wade Phillips') decision to add so much Brice McCain and Brandon Harris to the dish. That stuff tastes awful.
Where else, if anywhere, would you say Chef Kubiak has gone wrong this year? Make sure to get your thoughts in quickly, as rumor has it that he'll be relieved of his duties in the kitchen before the new year arrives.
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