Battle Red News Wire: #REEDWATCH

As I sit here in the wee hours, I reflect on the fact that the Texans have watched five players walk out the door. The only resigning thus far is Andrew Gardner. Not necessarily a win. If Gardner is the game, that means Duane Brown or Derek Newton has been injured or ineffective. Why to go, Rick! Good job!

As my counterpart for the News Wire, Bayless Parsley, pointed out, the 2013 offseason has been depressing. But, it would be much more intolerable in 2014 and 2015 if Houston lost J.J. Watt, Brian Cushing, and (what the hell, I'll throw in) Kareem Jackson to free agency. There would be civil unrest the likes of which that hasn't been seen since Vancouver lost the Stanley Cup.

Yes, that is a hockey reference. Before everyone leaves, I'll move on. James Casey left for Philly, with Chip Kelly likening Casey to Aaron Hernandez. I guess we'll find out if Chip has delusions of grandeur or an eye that "offensive wiz" Gary Kubiak doesn't possess. Glover Quin, probably the biggest in-house target this offseason, was allowed to walk in hopes of the Texans replacing him with Ed Reed - more on that later. Then came the news that #BarwinHouseParty was dead, with Connor Barwin joining Casey in Philadelphia. Yesterday, we found out a pair of former Texans will be staying in the division.

Justin Forsett and Alan Ball will now be wearing the Thundercat-like logo on their helmets this fall. Forsett was a solid third-string back that filled in for the injured Ben Tate nicely at times. Forsett's time with the Texans can be summed up with one play, a play that will mostly make a rule change this offseason. That play was the 81-yard touchdown run on Thanksgiving that should have been called dead after Forsett was down. Fortunately, Jim Schwartz has the patience of a four-year-old and challenged a "scoring" play.

Now on to #ReedWatch. Ed Reed leaving the Texans' office without a contract today reminds me way too much of another high-priced free agent in another sport, Carlos Beltran. Beltran was traded to the Astros in 2004. That year, Beltran tied the record for most home runs in one playoff campaign (8, tied with Barry Bonds). Beltran was a free agent once the playoffs ended. The Astros went all in on Beltran, focusing solely on getting him back into the fold. As a result, the Astros watched other top free agents sign elsewhere, leaving them only one big fish to hook, Beltran. Beltran held off on signing Houston's offer (a reported $108 million/7 year contract) while telling Houston media he was making every effort to return. In reality, Beltran was only using the Astros to leverage a bigger deal with the Mets.

I'm not bitter about Beltran; getting paid is the name of the game. Ed Reed's visit with the Texans feels like Carlos Beltran' treatment of the Houston Astros after the 2004 season. Houston is the pawn in a bigger game. I point to the fact that Reed has hired David Dunn, the same agent Ray Lewis hired when he was a free agent and flirting with the Cowboys. Maybe I'm wrong, but something is rotten in the state of Reed.

Around the League

Adrian Wilson signed with the Patriots. I'm pretty sure Belichick is just trolling Tom Brady at this point. "Thanks, Tom, for that money. Were going to put it all on the defensive side of the ball if that's okay with you."

Dustin Keller signed with the Dolphins. Ryan Tannehill's quality targets doubled with Keller and Mike Wallace. Keller is coming off a season where he was only able to start five games, racking up 317 yards and 2 touchdowns. Keller was Mark Sanchez's security blanket and a solid receiver in the end zone.

Danny Woodhead signed with the Chargers. San Diego seems to be attempting to recreate some Darren Sproles magic with Woodhead. Hopefully the Chargers try to recreate this video in some way.

Greg Jennings signed with the Vikings. Following the route of Ryan Longwell and Brett Favre. I'm already waiting for my grandfather's (who lives in Green Bay) call about what the hell is going on. Jennings is a loss for the Pack but they still have Aaron Rodgers. I think the Packers will be just fine. The biggest for myself, would be that this video would no longer be accurate when it comes to Jennings. (Language NSFW)

Dog, Greg Jennings put a new team on his back. Because he does for Madden, indeed.

Finally, Elvis Dumervil will probably getting a new agent and new fax machine after failing to get paperwork in on time. Which resulted in Dumervil being cut from the Broncos. Pretty sure Dumbervil will be replicating this scene pretty soon.

Am I crazy for comparing Beltran and Reed? Let me know the comments.