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Spring Break XIII (Or Whatever The Young'uns Are Calling It These Days): A Houston Texans Fan's Wish List

One man leaves for Spring Break XIII, but not before leaving his wishes for the Houston Texans.

One of these men has a big week ahead of him.
One of these men has a big week ahead of him.
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

The second week of March is Spring Break for most universities across the country. This brings a locust swarm of belligerent scholars trading their TI-83s for Ice House Edges and Bud Ice beer bongs. As a grumpy 22-year-old man on the verge of graduation, the golden years of this sort of tomfoolery have passed me by. I am storming away from the beaches of booze and flooze for the mountains of the west as I head to the Angels Landing of Zion National Park.

When free agency officially begins on March 12th, I will be nowhere to be found. I will have gotten away from the Internet, television, and the iPhones of modern-day America, much like Sam Fisher breaking out of CIA headquarters. Consequently, I will be oblivious of what's cooking in the crock pot that is the NFL off season.

Before I leave on my annual getaway, I have some wishes for you to grant, Rick Smith.

1. Re-sign safety Glover Quin. He is indispensable in the Wade Phillips' 3-4 system. Smith can't lose Quin to a team like the Bengals. That would be like an Aztec sacrifice as our hearts would be ripped straight out of our chest.

2. Cut wide receiver Kevin Walter. He is too slow to create space and get open as a WR2 in the NFL. Yeah, he can make some plays in the playaction game when no one is looking, but he should never be a starting receiver on a playoff team. Let him go fulfill his destiny in Denver as Peyton Manning's favorite gritty receiver.

3. Restructure some of existing contracts (most importantly Antonio Smith's) so Houston can actually make some moves. This should probably be the first wish so re-signing Quin becomes realistic.

The window to win championships does not open very often, and Houston actually has a swift breeze coming in through theirs. They can't let a Texas Rangers-type offseason occur, where all their opportunities get smashed in their face as they choose the conservative route. Right now, this is the inevitable unless they gain some wiggling room by turning salaries into guaranteed money in order to stay below the cap. Give Andre Johnson and Johnathan Joseph a nice call. Coax them into converting salary into bonus cash. Every fan gets spoiled as the taste of success quickly washes down the years of garbage and misery. Ten wins and AFC South championships are nice, but everyone who's a Texans fan is starving for a title. all those who are traveling, have a lifetime-remembering Spring Break and be safe in your endeavors. Most of all, let's hope there is some good news from the Texans when we return to the doldrums of everyday life next week.