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Battle Red Newswire: Nice, Jon Snow

A solid haul from the draft + a big accomplishment for Jon Snow = a great weekend in my books. The only question now is when, not if, Skecher's comes calling for Nate Montana.

That's a fearsome duo.
That's a fearsome duo.
Bob Levey

NOTE: "Game of Thrones" spoiler alert at the bottom of this post.

Texans News

Willkommen in Houston, D.J. #SwearInGerman

You've had all weekend to relish in, what appears to have been, a very successful draft for the Texans. The thought of Andre Johnson and DeAndre Hopkins lining up on the same field is very pleasing. The idea of hard-hitting D.J. Swearinger having a year or two to learn from Ed Reed and Danieal Manning is equally pleasing. Seeing as I got a text from an LSU friend Friday night saying Sam Montgomery would be the "steal of the draft" if the Texans were to get him, only for us to draft him shortly thereafter, I'm feeling good in general.

So #Minterisntcoming, thanks to warm-weather Arizona. Big deal. There are other things to being a football fan than creating clever hashtags. I was able to get by for the first 27 years of my life without them, and I'm sure I'll survive the decision to pass on Minter. While we're on this topic, I do want to get the feel of the room on a potential nickname for D.J. #SwearInGerman.

Are we just going with the one word everyone knows in German? I'm guessing "Scheiße" may pose a problem for Nike, since the odds are very low of its North America division having the special ß in stock. We could just roll with writing it as "Scheisse" for simplicity's sake. Definitely not going with the "z" variation, if only because of the Urban Dictionary definition for that variation.

We can circle back on this later, because there has to be a better option out there for #SwearInGerman's new nickname. If only we'd also drafted Margus Hunt. His Estonian upbringing has probably armed him with quite the stockpile of ways to curse the Germans.


Note to Jim Crane: Sign J.J. to boost attendance

Like Jeff Kent "washing his truck," this just seems like a really bad idea for all Houston sports fans:

JJ Watt Foundation charity softball game (via Lalanya Ennis)

And yet, I wish I could have been in the pile. Or at least helping Kareem Jackson WWE Ben Jones. Or at least at the J.J. Watt charity softball game that brought out way more fans than the Astros do these days. It would have been fun to have been able to report visual confirmation that Matt Schaub still has that home run ball capability.

Matt Schaub Clinches Win at Charity Classic Home Run Derby (via KendrickFamily123)

By the way, Tania Ganguli discovered that Watt estimates the rate of strangers showing up at his house per week to be about three. That is a little bit scary.


Around the NFL

Dolphins setting sights on Eric Winston

Move over, Branden Albert. Enter your former Kansas City Chiefs teammate Eric Winston as the focal point of the Miami Dolphins' attempts to obtain a tackle to replace the departed Jake Long. The Miami Herald's Adam Beasley says the two parties are now talking consistently and that a deal may just get done.



Stories like these make me pray that one day, there will be a football player named Da'Bob. (My dad is called The Bob.)


Later, Tebow

After seeing whom the New York Jets drafted in Round 2 on Friday, are you surprised to hear that the team released Tim Tebow this morning?

Gee, no.

The news only generated a small link on the right hand column of, with a sad face of Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol still claiming the cover shot. Would you have expected ESPN to stick to its pledge of a few months back to dial back on the Tebowmania for an event such as this?

Gee, no.

Did I think of this amazing play on words while half asleep this morning, woken up by the sound of a text from Dunsmore informing me of the breaking news?

Yes and trust me, it sounded like a walk off home pun in my half dream state. Also, Geno, no, the Jets will not make the playoffs next year.


The All-Nepotism Team

The San Francisco 49ers have invited Nate Montana, son of Joe Montana, to the team's rookie minicamp that will take place in Sacramento May 10-12. Nate, who went undrafted, will have a chance to find a place on a roster that already includes Colin Kaepernick, Colt McCoy, Scott Tolzien and B.J. Daniels. Kaepernick and McCoy are locks to make the team. Tolzien, meanwhile, is a fellow undrafted free agent from 2011 who has career clipboard holder written all over him. Daniels seems to be a poor man's Kaepernick, barely drafted as a seventh round pick and seemingly quite excited about the potential to play special teams. In other words, Montana, who failed to stick around at Notre Dame, just may have a shot at following in his dad's footsteps elsewhere. Hopefully, while wearing shoes made by any other brand than Skechers.

Either way, it doesn't sound like the kid has any enemies as vociferous as the one Duron Carter, son of Cris Carter, has in a former Kansas junior college quarterback. Upon hearing the news that the Minnesota Vikings had invited Carter to a tryout at the team's upcoming rookie minicamp, Cayden Cochran, his old teammate from Coffeyville Community College, tweeted the following:

"the most lazy, whiny & non-work ethic player the nfl has ever seen ... Horrible person & will be a complete cancer to any team on the board."

It looks like the tweet has been deleted, which is strange, seeing as Cochran doesn't shy away from the fact that he thinks Duron Carter is a terrible person when asked about it:

Duron Carter flamed out at Ohio State due to academic problems, played well enough at Coffeyville to get an offer from Alabama, never touched the field at Alabama due to academic problems, and was subsequently never able to gain eligibility to play at Florida Atlantic. Other than how mind boggling it is to conceive of how a football player could ever become academically ineligible at both Ohio State and Alabama, I have no evidence upon which to form an assessment of him, aside from the fact that the lauded Cayden Cochran hates him.

And Cochran does have some credibility:

I'm with Cochran.



In Fort Smith, Arkansas, True West Magazine's no. 1 "True Western Town" of 2013, there's just not that much to do. So, naturally, when former Razorbacks quarterback Tyler Wilson didn't hear his name called during the first three rounds of the draft, he went to the most Arkansas place ever to take his mind off of things. Kudos to the Sunday night tagline editor at for capturing the moment better than anyone else possibly could.


There are a few people over at Battle Red Blog who hold heavy hearts that the Texans opted for Brennan Williams and Sam Montgomery in the third round over Wilson, who fell all the way to the fourth before being scooped up by the Oakland Raiders. It will surely only make them angrier to read about how embarrassing it must have been for Wilson on Saturday night:

Wilson hoped to be drafted during Friday's second or third round. He even had a draft party at the Adelaide Ballroom in downtown Fort Smith complete with a large cake and a live band. When the third round ended without his name being called, the party was canceled as the band's gig turned into a rehearsal session.

Forgive me. This had to be done.

DELIVERANCE - BANJO DUEL (via dinahdavyd)



Nice, Jon Snow. My editors have informed me that the video I originally posted in this space would potentially offend some people. I guess not everyone likes wildling girls. For those of us who do, though: nice, Jon Snow. Very nice indeed.