Blaine Gabbert: The Real American (with Video Proof!)

This happened.

This is real. Not even I have the imagination nor general pettiness to make this up.

Ladies, gentlemen, children, and small animals, may I present to you: Blaine Gabbert: The Real American (lyrics as best as I can tell below).

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the main event of the evening.

IIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiit's time!

{Belch}

When it's the {inaudible} and the game's on the liiiiiine,
Just be glad that Blaine's on your side.
If you blitz him on 3rd down, you'll pay the price.
He'll hit his receiver right in stride.

Blaine is a real American.
Damn straight the Jaguars are going to win.
Blaine is a real American.
Leading the fight, let's win tonight.

The critics hated on Blaine for much too long,
They stoked his fire and the flames were strong.
But Blaine did not cry any Blaine tears,
He's back for revenge, and it's so very clear.

Blaine is a real American.
Damn straight the Jaguars are going to win.
Blaine is a real American.
Leading the fight, let's win tonight.

Blaine is a real American.
Hell yeah the Jaguars are going to win.
Blaine is a real American.
A pudding in need, suck on my knee.

You can play Cover 2, it's simply insane,
Beware of the QB, he will make it Blaine.

Blaine is a real American.
Damn straight the Jaguars are going to win.
Blaine is a real American.
A crime in the banks, king of aerobang.

Blaine is a real American.
Hell yeah the Jaguars are going to win.
Blaine is a real American.
Leading the fight, let's win tonight.

Blaine's ad nauseum.

Yeah.

In pain.

BLAINE! {echo chamber}

h/t my buddies at KROD.