Captain's Log - 2013 Game One "Conquering the Maelstrom"

Captain's Log: I just dropped a captain's log in the ship's commode... if you know what I mean.

Down Deep Into the Vortex and Back Again

For the Texans, it seemed as though too many key players were showing signs that missing pre-season practices and game time was going to be more than just the proverbial rust needing to be knocked off. The breakdowns on offense and defense led many to think that this game would end like previous prime time games against quick release quarterbacks...with a swirling descent straight into humiliating defeat and no way to fight back and survive, much less win.

Trailing 28-7 in the 3rd quarter, the Texans finally woke up and rallied back to tie it 28-28 after an incredible interception returned for a touchdown by LB Brian Cushing, and then a 41 yard field goal by Randy "Beercan" Bullock to win the game as regulation time expired. JJ Watt, Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson played like the elite players they are, and motivated their team to the biggest comeback win in Texans history.


First Downs: Texans 26, Chargers 14

Rushing Yards: Texans 120, Chargers 80

Passing Yards: Texans 329, Chargers 183

Passing ATT-COMP-INT: Texans 34-45-1, Chargers 14-29-1

Touchdowns: Texans 4, Chargers 4

Field Goals (made-attempted): Texans 1-2, Chargers 0-0

Sacks: Texans 2, Chargers 2

Time of Possession: Texans 36:31, Chargers 23:29

Final Score: Texans 31, Chargers 28

Sick Bay

"I'm a doctor, not some Gaslamp District saloon proprietor!"


OL David Quessenberry - Broken Foot - Injured Reserve

RT Brennan Williams - Received microfracture surgery on knee - Injured Reserve


LB Darryl Sharpton - Concussion Protocol

S Ed Reed - Precautionary (hip recovery)


- Consider that some good lagniappe on top of the comeback victory!

- CB Brice McCain's knee is "banged up", but no word on if it is serious, and so far, it does not sound like it.

Halftime Speech

I like to think it went something like this...

Bravo Zulu - Brian Cushing and Randy Bullock!!

(Bravo Zulu is a naval signal, conveyed by flag hoist or vocal, meaning "Well Done")

100px-bravo_flag 100px-zulu_flag

The pressure of having to kick a game winning field goal in your very first NFL game, and getting it done? Amazing!


That was one of the most athletic interceptions by a linebacker in NFL history!


Honorable Mention:

WR Andre Johnson - A man among boys, as usual for the G.O.A.T.

QB Matt Schaub - Smart, tough, and battlefightin' all night long

TE "Duo" Owen Daniels and Garrett Graham - Clutch and TD Heros

S Daniel Manning - 1 Sack, great shutdown of future HOF TE Antonio Gates in 2nd half, led team in tackles (tied)

P Shane Lechler - Kicking the Texans through the wormhole into victory

RB Ben Tate - Running like a man on a mission

S Shiloh Keo - KTFO Award Nominee and Fake Punt Hero

WR DeAndre Hopkins - Outstanding first game rookie! Welcome to the NFL

LB Whitney Mercilus - 1 Sack, several hurries, led team in tackles (tied)

Coach Kubiak - For calling a fake punt and unleashing the Bulls in the second half !!

Well done gents!!

Random Movie Quote (name it):

"It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit."

Memorable Quotes from Game Threads

I've been around so long, things are starting to repeat themselves. Pretty sure I saw the Oilers play this exact game right after mastodons went extinct. - FreedomRide

Konserviak made me proud with the fake punt - KeriTheCreoleTexan

I can safely say this is probably the worst start to a game in Texans' history - AMD

That's OK, we are just spotting them 7 - Professortex

All of the booze, please. - TexansDC

The best part about that return was no flags - steelblue

Draw coming? - USMC_JA

3rd and long screen, at least it wasn't a draw....I guess... - Travis Roggatz

Lechler goes "Calm the kitten down boys!" - Fuzion

I want to know what Dilfer thinks about how we do against elite QBs. Hearing it 14 times isn't enough - Underdogs01

Kubiak Faking...Did I miss the apocalypse? - BWOracle

Cushing REALLY wanted to make that play. That's heart and desire RIGHT THERE! - TexansBornAndRaised

Jean is killing us, did he hang out with Eric Winston in the off season? - Bobbythegreat

Johnson just beat Cox - Anna-Megan Raley

Sword fight - GatorTD & alcoholic insight

das a dirty girl - chuckiepoo

Everyone Loves an Iced Beercan (end of game FG) - GatorTD

GAME BLOUSES!!!!! KITTEN I love this KITTEN team! And now I'm going to throw up. - UprootedTexan

IT IS 0845 HERE IN KUWAIT and we could not be happier...All us Marines and Army guys just lit up the DFAC

Way to go TEXANS...

SEMPER FI... and good night to all my brothers back home in H-town. - Texmarine

Random Comic


Ship's Galley

Let's go below decks to the mess hall and see what's cooking...

Stuffed Jalapenos

Short week, short recipe for tailgating...

Slice jalapeno peppers in half, stuff with "Lil' smokies" or chorizo sausage (cooked), creme cheese, wrap with bacon, season with smoked paprika and sea salt and then grill until crisp. Serve with ranch dressing. Enjoy!


Need a new drink recipe? OK, pull up a stool and wet your whistle mate:

"Battle Red Bulls Up All Night"

1 ounce Red Stag by Jim Beam

1 ounce Jagermeister

2 ounces Red Bull

Build over ice in rocks glass. Garnish with maraschino cherries. Chug and Cheer!!

(Please drink responsibly and don't drive while impaired)

Stories From the Brig

Lestar Jean and Brice McCain left a lot to be desired with poor play, but I have confidence that will be addressed this week in practice and film room sessions. Instead of calling out the other guys who struggled, we'll look past that in game one as they shake off the rust. They won't escape the scrutiny next time though. If this team is going to make it to the goal of winning a championship, it takes constant attention to detail.

Random Movie Quote Part II (aka the hint):

"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"


45 Boren, Zach FB 6-0 254 R Ohio State
98 Browner, Keith DE 6-4 288 25 1 California
22 Carmichael, Roc CB 5-10 190 25 3 Virginia Tech
12 Cruse, Andy WR 6-3 209 23 R Miami (Ohio)
37 Graham, Ray RB 5-9 195 R Pittsburgh
62 Kupper, Alex G 6-3 299 23 R Louisville
70 Menkin, Nathan T 6-5 300 1 Mary Hardin-Baylor
87 Nwachukwu, Uzoma WR 5-11 198 22 R Texas A&M

Fun Facts


Rushing yards needed by Arian Foster to hit 5,000 career rushing yards.


Receiving yards needed by Arian Foster to hit 2,000 career receiving yards.


Receiving yards needed by Andre Johnson to hit 12,000 career receiving yards.


NFL record! Career games with 10 or more receptions and 100 or more yards.


Random "Thank You Notes" - Jimmy Fallon

Thank you....the term "Sexiest Man Alive," for raising the question: If the word "alive" wasn't there, would someone different have won?

On the Horizon

The Titans come to Reliant Stadium next Sunday September 15, with kickoff at Noon (CDT) on CBS.

For those attending the game, the theme is "LIBERTY WHITE OUT" so dress accordingly.

The headline image got cropped, so here it is in full...


Last week's Captain's Log: "The Point of No Return"

In This FanPost