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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Titans

Dying for a Texans fan's predictions about the 2013 Week Two matchup between the Texans and Titans? No? Well, read this post anyway. It's so (in)accurate that it'll make your toes curl.

This is Earl Mitchell sacking Jake Locker in 41-7.
This is Earl Mitchell sacking Jake Locker in 41-7.
Joe Robbins

On Monday afternoon in this space, I assured you that "...the Texans will win [the game against the Chargers in San Diego] by a reasonable margin." The Texans won by three points on a field goal by Randy Bullock as time expired.

Is three points a reasonable margin? Is three points a reasonable margin when it's scored to break a tie? Is three points a reasonable margin when it's scored to break a tie at the last possible second?

I don't know the answers to those questions. Well, that's not exactly true. I do know the answers. I just won't write it out loud because it would totally draw attention to the fact that I have no idea what I'm talking about, and then you might take this totally solemn predictions column less seriously than you should. I mean, you should be betting the equivalent of a child's college education on the words that appear in this space each week. That's how you're gonna make it in America.

With that in mind, I give you three (3) things that are sure to happen at Reliant Stadium when the Texans host Bud Adams' Army of Darkness on Sunday:

1. Some observers have opined that Tennessee's win in Pittsburgh last weekend is a harbinger of good things to come for Bud Adams' charges. Others, like me, continue to opine that the offseason improvements made by Tennessee (and they did get better, especially on the offensive line) will be of little import as long as Jake Locker remains under center. I firmly believe that latter theory will be supported by what Wade Phillips does to Locker on Sunday. Locker will (1) complete less than 55% of his passes, (2) be sacked twice, and (3) throw two interceptions at Reliant Stadium.

2. On the other side of the QB equation, we have Matt Schaub. The Schaub will not post the gaudy yardage numbers (346 yards, if you forgot) we saw in San Diego on Monday night. The Texans will not need him to do that. Instead, I look for a quiet 17-24, 264 yard, 2 TD, O INT day from Houston's QB.

3. Arian Foster will not take a back seat to Ben Tate this week. While I expect Tate to receive more carries than he did against San Diego and the workload to skew closer to an even split between the Texans' top two running backs, I am also calling for Arian Foster to break 100 yards on the ground, with a TD thrown in for good measure.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: If the Texans go up by two touchdowns early in this game, things could get ugly for Tennessee. I do not, however, expect that to happen. I envision the Texans going into halftime up 17-7 and pulling away in the late third/early fourth quarter. Texans 31, Titans 17.

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